Anonymous wrote:Men get intimidated when a woman is 9/10 looks and at least that smart. I'm only now, in midlife, in therapy, unlearning my tendency to smile and and speak in a high pitched voice in an attempt to convey I-am-not-a-threat.

Anonymous wrote:I've been told that I do. I'm a late 30s black woman who has RBF. I'm actually pretty nice. I don't have a mean bone in my body, but I like to be on my P's and Q's. I've been told that's intimidating for people who don't have themselves together.

I don’t think it’s because people don’t have themselves together. I also have RBF and I think people just assume you dislike them because you’re glowering at them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boss once called me haughty. Others say I’m kind.
I’m sitting here clueless about the vibe I give off.

Maybe because you're all business with the boss and you use different social skills with others, since you're not worried about sitting in their office wasting their precious time.

Mmm. Not sure what you mean. Ppl come to my “office” so to speak, I’m inviting co/workers to my house for a get together, etc. not much time for chatting during the wrk day.

Anonymous wrote:My boss once called me haughty. Others say I’m kind.
I’m sitting here clueless about the vibe I give off.

Maybe because you're all business with the boss and you use different social skills with others, since you're not worried about sitting in their office wasting their precious time.

My boss once called me haughty. Others say I’m kind.
I’m sitting here clueless about the vibe I give off.

I'm smart and competent and confident and a skilled communicator so once people realize this they are sometimes intimidated by me because my appearance doesn't immediately suggest to others what I'm really like. I find once they get over their initial surprise they can often appreciate my strengths but some do seem to be intimidated.

Anonymous wrote:I’m very confident and no nonsense and I think some people are intimidated by a stronger and self assured personality, but I find the people who might be intimidated over compensate by being extra nice to me. I’m not mean, I’m just not fake.

LOL. You think you are intimidating, but you look mentally disturbed.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t look scary but I think at work I do sometimes intimidate newer people by being a fast thinker/talker and I expect people to keep up.

And can most people keep up?