Anonymous wrote:I have a friend that loves to needle people and say weirdly critical things, but in a jokey low key way. I started making jokes on how I could count on her to say things like that, I knew it would take her no time to mention, only she would say something like that, etc. She quit doing it.

Smart. You did both of you a favor. She probably didn't realize she had this insecurity tic and that it was so off putting. If she was truly just trying to hurt you, maybe she would have pushed back or continued.

It is totally bizarre and I would work on a way to respond by putting it back in her lap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sees you at a threat.

NP. I doubt it.

OP, for whatever reason her DH can't stand you and she feels awkward about it and keeps mentioning it. You probably said something. He seems fine because he's politer than she is.

NP. Well, it didn't take long for the classic "It must be the OP's fault" post to appear.

Zero reason to assume that OP "said something" or that there is any real basis for the DH's supposed dislike. Note the "supposed." OP does not know, nor do we, whether the DH actually dislikes her or even said the things his wife is claiming he said. You, PP, just want to bash an OP. Typical response on here, and typically fact-free.

To the OP: Since she sounds like a mere acquaintance whom you see around, and she and DH are not actually your friends, I'd shrug this off as being about her insecurity and not about you at all. Don't let it make you think you did anything specific. Even if her DH does dislike you, what does it matter, since they're not a couple you even know very well? Change the topic if she brings up this nonsense again, and generally avoid them. Don't feed her insecurity and her odd statements by reacting to them, beyond a cool stare and a change of topic every time.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend that loves to needle people and say weirdly critical things, but in a jokey low key way. I started making jokes on how I could count on her to say things like that, I knew it would take her no time to mention, only she would say something like that, etc. She quit doing it.

'


People who "needle" in a "jokey way" are not joking, they are being inappropriate, and trying to camouflage it by claiming to be "joking".

Anonymous wrote:
In my 30s, I'd have felt bad. Now I'm in my 40s, I would take malicious pleasure in drawing her out and making her explain herself and seeing what sort of nonsense comes out...

+1. I would speak of nothing else to this woman except her husband's apparent dislike and active avoidance of me.

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this is the right forum. There is a woman that I know from my kid’s school and who I see at soccer practices and other social events. Not really a friend but we have a number of mutual friends.

She’s nice enough to me but literally every time we talk, she finds a way to tell me her husband has some kind of issue with me. Really strange things, like “he’s not sure what to think of you since you mentioned you really like such and such a music genre” or “he knew you’d be at XYZ event and actually mentioned he was going to avoid it” and then abruptly change the topic.

It’s SO bizarre. The guy himself is fine, nothing antsy or rude or weird, he’s very friendly if anything.

Not sure if she ever does this to other women, if she does I haven’t seen it. I feel like saying something to call her on it but idk what I’m really dealing with here. On my end there’s no problem, but he or they seem to really have some issue with me.

She might be jealous. Or perhaps I should say that her husband may be saying things about you or acting in ways that make her feel guilty.

It’s happened to me before too. Maybe distance yourself from this family. You’ll all be happier.

It’s happened with my husband too and neither one of us are models. It says far more about them than you.

What a weirdo. I would avoid her.

Every time I would just give a little smile and say 'Oh, well, nice of him to be thinking of me." in a tone that implied I really did think it was nice of him. I'm not sure what she's after, but not getting it might make it stop.

He's controlling and trying to drive a wedge into friendships to isolate her. Possibly.

I have a friend that loves to needle people and say weirdly critical things, but in a jokey low key way. I started making jokes on how I could count on her to say things like that, I knew it would take her no time to mention, only she would say something like that, etc. She quit doing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I'd just be honest and open about it: Larla you've mentioned several times that your DH doesn't like me. I don't know what to make of it--what's his issue and why are you telling me?

Good one. Doesn't bring more into it than what's already there.

Except why care what his issue is?

Why not leave it at - why are you telling me? Or even - I don’t expect everyone to like me - but I don’t need to hear about it

She sounds weird / socially inept. I’d avoid talking to her - she’s just an acquaintance through kids, should be easy to find other parents to chit chat with.

[quote=Anonymous]
In my 30s, I'd have felt bad. Now I'm in my 40s, I would take malicious pleasure in drawing her out and making her explain herself and seeing what sort of nonsense comes out...
[/quote]

I would take malicious pleasure in making her feel worse by telling how wonderful I think her husband is and how lucky she is for bagging such a hottie!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sees you at a threat.

NP. I doubt it.

OP, for whatever reason her DH can't stand you and she feels awkward about it and keeps mentioning it. You probably said something. He seems fine because he's politer than she is.

Least likely scenario.

Anonymous wrote:I think I'd just be honest and open about it: Larla you've mentioned several times that your DH doesn't like me. I don't know what to make of it--what's his issue and why are you telling me?

Good one. Doesn't bring more into it than what's already there.