Anonymous wrote:The point of going to high school is to learn not to get into college. Also, there is no excuse for not turning in assignments or skipping class. I always told my kids that I didn't care about their grades as long as they were truly putting forth an effort. In the current high school environment, I would say that a B would be my minimum expectation unless the course was especially challenging or there was a special need involved.

Anonymous wrote:DD is 15YO and finishing 9th grade. This year has been very uneven -- she has had some very good test scores, but lots of missing homework, resulting in some very average grades. Her attitude kind of sucks. She tries in the classes she likes and can't be bothered in the others. When I talk to her about it, she says that she just isn't interested in what they are learning and doesn't see the value in it -- what is the point anyway, because even kids with perfect grades and perfect scores are having trouble getting into college and AI is making jobs obsolete. She wants to focus on her (individual, not school-based) sport and her friends.

She is highly intelligent and used to be motivated in school. She was evaluated for ADHD when she was in early elementary school but I'm wondering if something was missed. Advice?

Anonymous wrote:She's right and it's driving you crazy because you can't admit that maybe, just maybe you are wrong.

Let her steer the car herself and give her gas money when needed.

Anonymous wrote:DD is 15YO and finishing 9th grade. This year has been very uneven -- she has had some very good test scores, but lots of missing homework, resulting in some very average grades. Her attitude kind of sucks. She tries in the classes she likes and can't be bothered in the others. When I talk to her about it, she says that she just isn't interested in what they are learning and doesn't see the value in it -- what is the point anyway, because even kids with perfect grades and perfect scores are having trouble getting into college and AI is making jobs obsolete. She wants to focus on her (individual, not school-based) sport and her friends.

She is highly intelligent and used to be motivated in school. She was evaluated for ADHD when she was in early elementary school but I'm wondering if something was missed. Advice?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Short answer -

She needs the best GPA she can get, and the best test scores (congrats on the high score!) to get merit aid, which in the long run might prove more useful than a top-ranked name on a diploma.

Long answer -

Academics are not only about knowledge for a future career, general culture and cognitive development. Its immediate importance is about FAMILY MONEY.

I insist on the word family. Teens should care about their parents' expenditures, because it's that much less for their inheritance, or car purchases or downpayments on homes, or whatever else they might need in early adulthood to turbocharge their upward mobility.

This is a conversation, in fact, about building generational wealth. You as the parent have various investments, and you don't want a lackadaisical child to squander the family's financial opportunities. You want financial aid, merit aid, and to reduce your tuition load as much as humanely possible. Merit aid is a reduction in tuition. Financial aid is mostly loans. The former is less burdensome than the latter! And no one is giving out merit aid to mediocre students.

I say this as the parent of a kid with ADHD/ASD. The bar for kids with special needs is lower. He did manage to get into a decent college with merit aid, but I agreed to an expensive private university, not the State U that accepted him, because the Disability Office of the private offered him a lot more residential and academic accommodations. Will all those extra payments translate to higher income for him? Probably not. With him, we're on a different scale: that of not closing doors too early. If he can be financially independent when I'm gone, that's all I ask.

So by all means, get another evaluation. Call Stixrud. They're excellent. There is a waitlist, so in the meantime, get your kid an executive functioning coach and start explaining how the world works.

I posted previously that I have a kid like OP’s daughter, and with all due respect this response is exactly the type of explanation/lecture that would make him dig in his heels in his own position.

I would strongly advise against doing or saying any of this with a kid who seems to actually have the game figured out.

It's seriously so out of touch.

Anonymous wrote:DD is 15YO and finishing 9th grade. This year has been very uneven -- she has had some very good test scores, but lots of missing homework, resulting in some very average grades. Her attitude kind of sucks. She tries in the classes she likes and can't be bothered in the others. When I talk to her about it, she says that she just isn't interested in what they are learning and doesn't see the value in it -- what is the point anyway, because even kids with perfect grades and perfect scores are having trouble getting into college and AI is making jobs obsolete. She wants to focus on her (individual, not school-based) sport and her friends.

She is highly intelligent and used to be motivated in school. She was evaluated for ADHD when she was in early elementary school but I'm wondering if something was missed. Advice?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Short answer -

She needs the best GPA she can get, and the best test scores (congrats on the high score!) to get merit aid, which in the long run might prove more useful than a top-ranked name on a diploma.

Long answer -

Academics are not only about knowledge for a future career, general culture and cognitive development. Its immediate importance is about FAMILY MONEY.

I insist on the word family. Teens should care about their parents' expenditures, because it's that much less for their inheritance, or car purchases or downpayments on homes, or whatever else they might need in early adulthood to turbocharge their upward mobility.

This is a conversation, in fact, about building generational wealth. You as the parent have various investments, and you don't want a lackadaisical child to squander the family's financial opportunities. You want financial aid, merit aid, and to reduce your tuition load as much as humanely possible. Merit aid is a reduction in tuition. Financial aid is mostly loans. The former is less burdensome than the latter! And no one is giving out merit aid to mediocre students.

I say this as the parent of a kid with ADHD/ASD. The bar for kids with special needs is lower. He did manage to get into a decent college with merit aid, but I agreed to an expensive private university, not the State U that accepted him, because the Disability Office of the private offered him a lot more residential and academic accommodations. Will all those extra payments translate to higher income for him? Probably not. With him, we're on a different scale: that of not closing doors too early. If he can be financially independent when I'm gone, that's all I ask.

So by all means, get another evaluation. Call Stixrud. They're excellent. There is a waitlist, so in the meantime, get your kid an executive functioning coach and start explaining how the world works.

I posted previously that I have a kid like OP’s daughter, and with all due respect this response is exactly the type of explanation/lecture that would make him dig in his heels in his own position.

I would strongly advise against doing or saying any of this with a kid who seems to actually have the game figured out.

Anonymous wrote:Short answer -

She needs the best GPA she can get, and the best test scores (congrats on the high score!) to get merit aid, which in the long run might prove more useful than a top-ranked name on a diploma.

Long answer -

Academics are not only about knowledge for a future career, general culture and cognitive development. Its immediate importance is about FAMILY MONEY.

I insist on the word family. Teens should care about their parents' expenditures, because it's that much less for their inheritance, or car purchases or downpayments on homes, or whatever else they might need in early adulthood to turbocharge their upward mobility.

This is a conversation, in fact, about building generational wealth. You as the parent have various investments, and you don't want a lackadaisical child to squander the family's financial opportunities. You want financial aid, merit aid, and to reduce your tuition load as much as humanely possible. Merit aid is a reduction in tuition. Financial aid is mostly loans. The former is less burdensome than the latter! And no one is giving out merit aid to mediocre students.

I say this as the parent of a kid with ADHD/ASD. The bar for kids with special needs is lower. He did manage to get into a decent college with merit aid, but I agreed to an expensive private university, not the State U that accepted him, because the Disability Office of the private offered him a lot more residential and academic accommodations. Will all those extra payments translate to higher income for him? Probably not. With him, we're on a different scale: that of not closing doors too early. If he can be financially independent when I'm gone, that's all I ask.

So by all means, get another evaluation. Call Stixrud. They're excellent. There is a waitlist, so in the meantime, get your kid an executive functioning coach and start explaining how the world works.

Anonymous wrote:DD is 15YO and finishing 9th grade. This year has been very uneven -- she has had some very good test scores, but lots of missing homework, resulting in some very average grades. Her attitude kind of sucks. She tries in the classes she likes and can't be bothered in the others. When I talk to her about it, she says that she just isn't interested in what they are learning and doesn't see the value in it -- what is the point anyway, because even kids with perfect grades and perfect scores are having trouble getting into college and AI is making jobs obsolete. She wants to focus on her (individual, not school-based) sport and her friends.

She is highly intelligent and used to be motivated in school. She was evaluated for ADHD when she was in early elementary school but I'm wondering if something was missed. Advice?