Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to be clear. They are passengers in the car and you are not allowing them to use the phone? That’s extreme. What’s your reasoning for them not using phones?

So that she and her son can talk to each other. Seems like a good idea. Will keep that rule in mind when I finally buy my kids a phone.

Do you have teens yet? It may appear on the surface as a good idea to you. However, what she may get in return is one word half answers and in no way guarantees engaging in conversation. Teens are often most willing to talk when it’s a more low key situation.

So weird! So you are saying he needs to be acting like he’s driving, as in paying attention to stop signs, other traffic etc? That’s crazy, kookoo.

I never even considered not letting them on their phones in the car especially after not being allowed them in the car.

My kids are free to be on their phone and then they do talk to me as well, sometimes about something they just read on their phone.

Anonymous wrote:I just want to be clear. They are passengers in the car and you are not allowing them to use the phone? That’s extreme. What’s your reasoning for them not using phones?

So that she and her son can talk to each other. Seems like a good idea. Will keep that rule in mind when I finally buy my kids a phone.

Anonymous wrote:Wow that's pretty controlling, I"ve never heard of that. Here's what you are teaching him - avoid car rides with mom as much as possible.
Of course I don't tell my teenage kids they are forbidden from using their phones if they are riding in a car. They can have phones out and be a chatty passenger, both things are possible. Forced conversation is going to be pretty unsatisfying for everyone though.

Agreed.

I've never heard parents not allowing child passengers to look at their phone. That sounds so far over the line imo.

Anonymous wrote:They are going to be driving soon, now is the time they need to be learning to pay attention to their surroundings. If they want their license I don’t see the phone in the car. It’s a non-negotiable.

They need to pay attention to their surroundings as a passenger in your car in preparation for driving? This seems like a bit of a reach to me.

Anonymous wrote:Would you allow him to read a book and not talk to you?

NP. Books are not addictive the way smart phones are. Apples to oranges. A lot of these parents sound like they are trying to instill habits of engaging with the world. It’s easier to disengage from a book than from a device designed specifically to keep you engaged.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no scientific reason. Just some who grew up pre-smart phone and going with a gut feeling. Whatever time I can get them off their devices while I still have the ability to do so, I will ask that of them.

When they are out of the house, my job is done in that regard. We don't restrict their usage up to a certain point at night otherwise and if their are with friends, we view it as a social activity. We don't ask anything of other people's kids.

I say that still extreme for no real reason at all .When we were young, we didn’t have smart phones, but we had Walkmans, disk man, iPods and that’s how we would tune things out. Or, we would be reading a book or have another form of a distraction. I think Phones and cars are perfectly fine, your car so your rules, but you’re asking our opinion so here it is.

I can understand what you're saying, though we do differently.

I'm just responding because it's seems like you think I'm OP. I'm not.

Oh, I’m sorry for confusing you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no scientific reason. Just some who grew up pre-smart phone and going with a gut feeling. Whatever time I can get them off their devices while I still have the ability to do so, I will ask that of them.

When they are out of the house, my job is done in that regard. We don't restrict their usage up to a certain point at night otherwise and if their are with friends, we view it as a social activity. We don't ask anything of other people's kids.

I say that still extreme for no real reason at all .When we were young, we didn’t have smart phones, but we had Walkmans, disk man, iPods and that’s how we would tune things out. Or, we would be reading a book or have another form of a distraction. I think Phones and cars are perfectly fine, your car so your rules, but you’re asking our opinion so here it is.

I can understand what you're saying, though we do differently.

I'm just responding because it's seems like you think I'm OP. I'm not.

Anonymous wrote:I have no scientific reason. Just some who grew up pre-smart phone and going with a gut feeling. Whatever time I can get them off their devices while I still have the ability to do so, I will ask that of them.

When they are out of the house, my job is done in that regard. We don't restrict their usage up to a certain point at night otherwise and if their are with friends, we view it as a social activity. We don't ask anything of other people's kids.

I say that still extreme for no real reason at all .When we were young, we didn’t have smart phones, but we had Walkmans, disk man, iPods and that’s how we would tune things out. Or, we would be reading a book or have another form of a distraction. I think Phones and cars are perfectly fine, your car so your rules, but you’re asking our opinion so here it is.

They are going to be driving soon, now is the time they need to be learning to pay attention to their surroundings. If they want their license I don’t see the phone in the car. It’s a non-negotiable.

Anonymous wrote:Wow that's pretty controlling, I"ve never heard of that. Here's what you are teaching him - avoid car rides with mom as much as possible.
Of course I don't tell my teenage kids they are forbidden from using their phones if they are riding in a car. They can have phones out and be a chatty passenger, both things are possible. Forced conversation is going to be pretty unsatisfying for everyone though.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I allow it, because who the f cares. Oh and guess what? They also have great conversations with me too. And when friends are in the car they are all talking with me too.

Mom of 21 and 15yr old girls - both of which I am super close with.

+1 - mom of 15 yo girl

This is not a hill I would die on.

Wow that's pretty controlling, I"ve never heard of that. Here's what you are teaching him - avoid car rides with mom as much as possible.
Of course I don't tell my teenage kids they are forbidden from using their phones if they are riding in a car. They can have phones out and be a chatty passenger, both things are possible. Forced conversation is going to be pretty unsatisfying for everyone though.

This is not the hill to die on for me. I do not know anyone with a rule that their child can’t be on their phone in the car and it never occurred to me to make one. I love the great conversations I have with my kids in the car but sometimes they don’t want to talk and I don’t force it. I spend many hours a week in the car with my 16 year old because we have long drives to his practices. I follow his lead. Sometimes he wants to put his AirPods in and scroll. Sometimes he is very chatty. Sometimes he is involved in a long text exchange with his girlfriend or friends. I worry more about the phone being a distraction at homework time or keeping him up late.