Anonymous wrote:Well, it looks like the terrible mother found this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I realized there was something wrong with my mom by age 10.

One of the awful things she did was she badmouthed my dad, well before age 10.

I think I was in my 20s when I started to realize he’s not a selfish jerk.

Your poor mother. I don't know how old you are, but please understand, she probably had no freedom, no means for supporting herself, did everything for her husband, all the childcare, while he lived his life with ease, however he pleased, while treating her like garbage. Have you ever asked your father how he feels about the way he treated your mother while they were raising a family? If that's the "awful" thing you think your mother did, honestly, get some help.

Anonymous wrote:Well, it looks like the terrible mother found this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My NPD mother actually gets angry when someone has a health issue. Period cramps? They’re all in your head. Too sick to go to school? Then I have a list of chores that you can do. Stepfather hasn’t moved his bowels in a week? I want to tell you about my ailments first. He needs to go the hospital? Why don’t you drive him?
Is anger toward sick people a common thing with these narcissist parents? I get it temporarily distracts people from the narcissist and that causes rage.

OMG this. "I never had period cramps, why do you have period cramps?" "I don't need glasses - why is the doctor telling me you are severely nearsighted?"

My best explanation is that she (mother) saw me as an extension of herself, therefore my health issues could only reflect her own experiences. Otherwise I was faking and being manipulative to get attention.

NP - oh wow my mom did this all the time. I have never heard others share this experience before. My mom is definitely on the extreme of the narcissistic spectrum. Any more insight into this from anyone? I am very interested and have never understood this.

Also my mom gets mad if she is caring for my dad when he is sick, and I try to ask questions or give it any attention. For example, she hid my dad’s brain tumor from me. When I found out and asked questions she yelled at me and said “he’s not your husband!”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I realized there was something wrong with my mom by age 10.

One of the awful things she did was she badmouthed my dad, well before age 10.

I think I was in my 20s when I started to realize he’s not a selfish jerk.

Your poor mother. I don't know how old you are, but please understand, she probably had no freedom, no means for supporting herself, did everything for her husband, all the childcare, while he lived his life with ease, however he pleased, while treating her like garbage. Have you ever asked your father how he feels about the way he treated your mother while they were raising a family? If that's the "awful" thing you think your mother did, honestly, get some help.

Anonymous wrote:Well, it looks like the terrible mother found this thread.

Anonymous wrote:When we visit my mom she has started saying “this might be the last time you see me.”

So my 10 year old responded with “might be the last time you see me too!”

Now she has complained to everyone about my disrespectful child.

Anonymous wrote:As I got older I realized and accepted that both my parents were incapable of parenting. My mother is narcissistic and I think my dad is on the spectrum. When I became a parent- I had examples of what not to do and have been successful at parenting.

Anonymous wrote:I knew fairly young that I had lackluster parents. My parents divorced when I was about 3, because of my dad’s alcoholism. He was the better of the two parents, if you can believe it. My mom just didn’t want to do anything motherly unless it benefitted her in some way. I was always jealous of other girls who had mothers who genuinely seemed to love them and want to spend time with them and talk with them.

My mom always bad mouthed my dad, but then forced me to spend weekends with him—he was drunk all night, but worked during the day. But he really was the better parent. The summer I turned 14, I really tried to spend time with him and get to know him instead of trying to disappear and avoid. I’m glad I did that because he died a couple of months later and I was able to have my own positive experience to carry with me instead of my moms badmouthing and negativity.