We declined braces for our ASD DC. No thanks, I'm not going to put my kid through hell for straighter teeth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

As I was reading this post, it reminded me of all the potty training posts on this site.

When a kid is struggling there are typically 3 camps of people...

1) those that want to bail when it's not a cake walk
2) those that are trying to figure out a way to battle their way through
3) those that suggest bribery

Option 1 I always hate because it teaches kids that they can't do something that they can clearly do.
Option 2 never goes well because it's a battle of wills. There's always too much emotion involved.
Option 3 sometimes works, but if the parent and child are locked in a battle, it almost always backfires.

So what to do?

Get on the same TEAM as your son. Sympathize. He's clearly uncomfortable, maybe in ways you can't understand. Troubleshoot. What strategies can you try?

From this thread, the advil strategy seems like a good place to start. Prescheduling dentist appointments seems reasonable also.

Sit down and figure out a plan with him. Cheer him on when he does well. Sympathize when he's having trouble.

Anonymous wrote:If this were my kid, I’d work with the dentist to find a solution. Something like upping the dentist appointments to 1-2/week for a month to have dentist check that nothing is broken or fix what is. Set regular interval. Explain to kid that each time he goes and nothing is broken he gets a treat or reward and is find something that he would be excited about (special treat safe for braces, activity time, etc.).

Good luck, this sounds so hard.

Our ortho had us come in monthly. This is good advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if they are careful brackets and wires break.

I would say he is doing it deliberately to try to get the orthodontist to cancel treatment. There is NO WAY that many brackets breaking off at that rate on accident.

We had wires break a few times and early on a bunch of brackets pop off. Sometimes my child knew so we could get it fixed and other times he did not.

Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

Anonymous wrote:I also have a 13 year old with autism and braces. I give my kid Advil starting about 30 minutes before the appointment and then pretty consistently for the next 3-4 days because adjustments hurt.

The end of treatment is a really long time away. Can you do an incentive for a shorter period of time? For example, check his mouth once a week and if there is nothing broken, give a couple extra hours of video game time?

This might be a situation where the two of you can brainstorm together what would work, like from Ross Greene’s the explosive child. You really need his buy-in.

I was coming to suggest this. If you drop any threats and anger and punishments, he might be able to tell you how he’s breaking the brackets and wires. My autistic DD breaks hers when she puts things in her mouth (because oral sensory seeking) or when she messes with the wire with her fingers. She’s not TRYING to break them. Her autism causes her to do things that make the breaking much much more likely. I wonder if something like that could be going on.

I guarantee that your attitude isn’t helping.you made a decision about his body that impacts his life without any buy in from him. I would let them be removed and try again when he’s older.

Maybe it really hurts after an adjustment at the orthodontist, and he dreads it and is trying to sabotage the whole thing?

I had braces at that age and I still remember how much my teeth hurt for a few days after each trip to the orthodontist (putting in a shorter wire). And I have a pretty high tolerance to pain. Just an endless, throbbing ache for which even otc meds barely made a dent, until it lessened on its own.

I understand how frustrating it is, but please see if this might be a reason he’s not taking care of them.

Oh my!

If this were my kid, I’d work with the dentist to find a solution. Something like upping the dentist appointments to 1-2/week for a month to have dentist check that nothing is broken or fix what is. Set regular interval. Explain to kid that each time he goes and nothing is broken he gets a treat or reward and is find something that he would be excited about (special treat safe for braces, activity time, etc.).

Good luck, this sounds so hard.

Invisalign??

I would wait. He can do braces later. We delayed several years for my DD who was very seriously playing the flute for a while. It's fine.

My older son was fairly compliant with foods and did not oppose treatment, and he still had quite a few bracket failures.

Now that tooth banding is rare, and the brackets glue right on the teeth, failure seems a bit more likely.