Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound ignorant and like you never traveled anywhere.

Actually you sound ignorant. This is not about traveling. This is about living in another country. Totally different things.

And now you sound even more ignorant.

Anonymous wrote:You sound ignorant and like you never traveled anywhere.

Actually you sound ignorant. This is not about traveling. This is about living in another country. Totally different things.

You sound ignorant and like you never traveled anywhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I have not said anything to my sibling about this move. I do not give any unsolicited advice to people, ever. But I seriously wonder, you guys have never felt uncomfortable with a decision made by a loved one?

I am not trying to be a "parent" or "control" my sibling. I sincerely don't know what to say to them though.

Sure, I've felt uncomfortable. I've never had to crowd source ways to get over myself. Is your sibling excited? Then you be excited for them. FWIW, I lived in an "unsafe" country. Sure, some parts were. But I didn't live near those parts and I never felt unsafe. Its like someone saying all of Mexico is dangerous. Its not.

Would you say the same about Colombia? Comparable homicide rates, but Mexico seems different since it has a ton of tourism

DP
Yes,
Even the drug cartel violence is in the past.
A lot of tourists and digital nomads and retirees from the west.
In any city there are safe and unsafe places.

Is it the Congo? I would be concerned as well

I lived in Afghanistan and in Iraq during IS. If they are going for a job there should be a security person they can talk with. Their organization just won't send them willy nilly. If they are going on their own, they should do research before moving. They shouldn't be dumb. Don't be open that you're an American, be respectful of the country, people, and culture. Don't go to the same places everyday, don't go to and from home the same way. Make local friends. Try and learn the language.

In Iraq I was based in Erbil and lived in an apartment, walked around, went to the store, etc, on my own. Another person in the building had let their residency permit lapse or something and the Asayish (the kurdish security services) were there right away. They knew what was up. I was never harassed in Iraq (was in Afghanistan and have been plenty of times in the USA).

I wouldn't have moved there if I had kids. Also, make sure your sibling gets medicine and things if they don't have in the country. Many organizations will give you a kit with medication or see a travel doctor. I also recommend advil, imodium,electrolyte packets. I got migraines in the summer because it was so hot, so I came back to the US and got migraine medicine.

Anything you might not be able to find there just bring in case. If they have dengue or malaria get that sorted too and bring big repellant, etc. Update your vaccines.

America is also unsafe. My family was freaking out both times (I lived in both countries for years) and I read an article that Chicago had more deaths during a period I lived overseas. You can go to the mall in America and be killed.

If you're worried have some sort of safe phrase like have them ask how your dog is doing and you don't own a dog. Ask them to email you or contact you once a week or something. I constantly contacted my family because it made them feel better. Or ask to be part of the family find my phone group or something and say you'll only use it for emergencies.

Have you asked your sibling about the move? Is it for a job or are they just moving there? Ask and don't be judgmental about it. Do they have a will and things written down in case there is an emergency? Do they have emergency insurance through their job or paid for themselves if they need to fly back to the US for medical care? What is their medical insurance like? Do they need kidnapping insurance? Again, if they are going for a job, the job will have this all set up.

You can only control yourself. Worrying doesn't help anyone.

Ask your sibling if they've been briefed on the security issues and how they plan on adjusting their daily life.

This is particularly important if there are kids involved, although usually governments and institutions do not send families if the local situation is too volatile.

You should send your sibling a link to the article everytime there is a crime.

Anonymous wrote:I just want some advice on how to feel comfortable with it. I know bad things can happen to people even in safe places. But I can’t help but feel apprehensive about it.

How do you support someone in this? I know what I’m feeling is a reflection of my own issues (anxiety). Curious if anyone has dealt with this.

Have them stay in the US of A where their kid can get shot during art class at school, or you can get shot at a super bowl parade. But then how on earth would you be able to be racist?

If it helps, OP, a lot of expats in "dangerous" countries live in gated communities. It doesn't sound fun to me, but they're safer.

Anonymous wrote:OP - I have not said anything to my sibling about this move. I do not give any unsolicited advice to people, ever. But I seriously wonder, you guys have never felt uncomfortable with a decision made by a loved one?

I am not trying to be a "parent" or "control" my sibling. I sincerely don't know what to say to them though.

All the time. But there’s nothing you can do about it,
So focus on what you can control: your reaction.

I come from one of these countries.

The thing is, back home there are safe neighborhoods and unsafe neighborhoods. There are walls and security and nobody in my family has ever gotten hurt. One cousin got robbed when she walked home late and she was most upset about losing her study materials for a college class. We are taught from a young age to not look at the thief, give them what they ask for slowly, and keep walking at steady pace — because it’s not worth risking your life to argue over your phone. Nobody else has experienced any crime.

On the other hand everyone in my family is terrified for my kids because they’re convinced everyday in an American school is playing Russian roulette with their lives. (The articles about the school shooter wannabe, arrested in Rockville are not helping.) They also struggle with the randomness of the violence in the United States. In my country there are very dangerous places but there are very safe places and you can choose to go to safe places. In the U.S. there are mass shooters in schools, malls, bars and concerts. Nowhere is safe.

Wow, there's a lot of negative assumptions and dismissiveness.

OP - It's perfectly understandable to feel anxious if your sibling is moving to a third world country with a high crime rate. But maybe they will live in safer neighborhood? I mean, crime is high in DC -- but we know some areas are much safer than others. There are some countries with overall high crime rates but it can vary a lot depending where you are located.

I moved to a “developing country with high crime” and lived there for 7 years. I loved it and my children thrived. My sibling and some friends were panicked and refused to visit. Their loss!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I have not said anything to my sibling about this move. I do not give any unsolicited advice to people, ever. But I seriously wonder, you guys have never felt uncomfortable with a decision made by a loved one?

I am not trying to be a "parent" or "control" my sibling. I sincerely don't know what to say to them though.

Sure, I've felt uncomfortable. I've never had to crowd source ways to get over myself. Is your sibling excited? Then you be excited for them. FWIW, I lived in an "unsafe" country. Sure, some parts were. But I didn't live near those parts and I never felt unsafe. Its like someone saying all of Mexico is dangerous. Its not.

Would you say the same about Colombia? Comparable homicide rates, but Mexico seems different since it has a ton of tourism

Yes, I say it about almost all countries (obviously there are a handful that are unsafe all around). Colombia has parts that are safer than others.