Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had an EA with a client though I’m sure it wasn’t reciprocal. I was single, he was married and I was an emotional mess and he was a great listener so I could tell him things that I couldn’t tell others. Maybe it was more a a patient/psychiatrist type relationship. If given the chance I would have slept with him but he never gave any indication he wanted more. It ended when I met my now husband who took over that role. The guy and I are still friends but just friends.

That’s not an “EA,” that’s an unreciprocated crush. EAs are reciprocal, otherwise it is an obsessive crush. It’s kind of depressing that your resolution was jumping into another relationship but I get it.

NP, but so curious what is the line that both people must cross to distinguish between a crush and an EA. Sometimes I suspect the constant posts here about EAs are really just crushes - the “EA partner” is friendly, always willing to lend an ear and probably enjoys the attention, but really doesn’t have genuine feelings for the married person that’s falling for them.

When one of you confesses catching feelings and the other admits to feeling the same.

I don’t even think that’s the point where it flips to an emotional affair, it’s the emotional intimacy that comes after.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had an EA with a client though I’m sure it wasn’t reciprocal. I was single, he was married and I was an emotional mess and he was a great listener so I could tell him things that I couldn’t tell others. Maybe it was more a a patient/psychiatrist type relationship. If given the chance I would have slept with him but he never gave any indication he wanted more. It ended when I met my now husband who took over that role. The guy and I are still friends but just friends.

That’s not an “EA,” that’s an unreciprocated crush. EAs are reciprocal, otherwise it is an obsessive crush. It’s kind of depressing that your resolution was jumping into another relationship but I get it.

NP, but so curious what is the line that both people must cross to distinguish between a crush and an EA. Sometimes I suspect the constant posts here about EAs are really just crushes - the “EA partner” is friendly, always willing to lend an ear and probably enjoys the attention, but really doesn’t have genuine feelings for the married person that’s falling for them.

spoken like someone who has not ever experienced it. I hope you never have to because it is absolute torment.

Right. Highest highs, but the lows are pure agony. Would not recommend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had an EA with a client though I’m sure it wasn’t reciprocal. I was single, he was married and I was an emotional mess and he was a great listener so I could tell him things that I couldn’t tell others. Maybe it was more a a patient/psychiatrist type relationship. If given the chance I would have slept with him but he never gave any indication he wanted more. It ended when I met my now husband who took over that role. The guy and I are still friends but just friends.

That’s not an “EA,” that’s an unreciprocated crush. EAs are reciprocal, otherwise it is an obsessive crush. It’s kind of depressing that your resolution was jumping into another relationship but I get it.

NP, but so curious what is the line that both people must cross to distinguish between a crush and an EA. Sometimes I suspect the constant posts here about EAs are really just crushes - the “EA partner” is friendly, always willing to lend an ear and probably enjoys the attention, but really doesn’t have genuine feelings for the married person that’s falling for them.

spoken like someone who has not ever experienced it. I hope you never have to because it is absolute torment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had an EA with a client though I’m sure it wasn’t reciprocal. I was single, he was married and I was an emotional mess and he was a great listener so I could tell him things that I couldn’t tell others. Maybe it was more a a patient/psychiatrist type relationship. If given the chance I would have slept with him but he never gave any indication he wanted more. It ended when I met my now husband who took over that role. The guy and I are still friends but just friends.

That’s not an “EA,” that’s an unreciprocated crush. EAs are reciprocal, otherwise it is an obsessive crush. It’s kind of depressing that your resolution was jumping into another relationship but I get it.

NP, but so curious what is the line that both people must cross to distinguish between a crush and an EA. Sometimes I suspect the constant posts here about EAs are really just crushes - the “EA partner” is friendly, always willing to lend an ear and probably enjoys the attention, but really doesn’t have genuine feelings for the married person that’s falling for them.

When one of you confesses catching feelings and the other admits to feeling the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had an EA with a client though I’m sure it wasn’t reciprocal. I was single, he was married and I was an emotional mess and he was a great listener so I could tell him things that I couldn’t tell others. Maybe it was more a a patient/psychiatrist type relationship. If given the chance I would have slept with him but he never gave any indication he wanted more. It ended when I met my now husband who took over that role. The guy and I are still friends but just friends.

That’s not an “EA,” that’s an unreciprocated crush. EAs are reciprocal, otherwise it is an obsessive crush. It’s kind of depressing that your resolution was jumping into another relationship but I get it.

NP, but so curious what is the line that both people must cross to distinguish between a crush and an EA. Sometimes I suspect the constant posts here about EAs are really just crushes - the “EA partner” is friendly, always willing to lend an ear and probably enjoys the attention, but really doesn’t have genuine feelings for the married person that’s falling for them.

Anonymous wrote:I once had an EA with a client though I’m sure it wasn’t reciprocal. I was single, he was married and I was an emotional mess and he was a great listener so I could tell him things that I couldn’t tell others. Maybe it was more a a patient/psychiatrist type relationship. If given the chance I would have slept with him but he never gave any indication he wanted more. It ended when I met my now husband who took over that role. The guy and I are still friends but just friends.

That’s not an “EA,” that’s an unreciprocated crush. EAs are reciprocal, otherwise it is an obsessive crush. It’s kind of depressing that your resolution was jumping into another relationship but I get it.

I once had an EA with a client though I’m sure it wasn’t reciprocal. I was single, he was married and I was an emotional mess and he was a great listener so I could tell him things that I couldn’t tell others. Maybe it was more a a patient/psychiatrist type relationship. If given the chance I would have slept with him but he never gave any indication he wanted more. It ended when I met my now husband who took over that role. The guy and I are still friends but just friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the difference from having a good friend of the opposite gender.

If you want to have sex with them, it's an emotional affair.

Then I guess I have an emotional affair with the store cashier, the person next to me at the beach, etc.

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as having a "good friend" of the opposite sex. If you're in a relationship of any sort, that person should be your best friend. If they are not then you're not 100% into the relationship.

Any no, men cannot be friends with women they don't want to bang. That's just fact. There might be a .0000001% chance but it's a one off. Always assume if a guy and girl are friends, the guy wants the girl.

I assume you wrote this as a joke just to trigger blowback because no one can be so stupid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually had an emotional affair and it is so distinct from friendship with someone of the opposite sex. It was so intimate and so sexual and so many boundaries were crossed that I would not cross with a male friend.

OP, if it was sexual then it was not an emotional affair, it was a sexual affair.

But we never had sex! Or even touched in a sexual way! But we did manage to express very intimate and detailed desires for one another. It was hot- and totally nuts.

Whenever I read stuff like this it always amazes me that there are men who participate in strictly EAs without trying to escalate to PA.

How did you get out of this before escalation?

It's not hard! In fact, my wife would be crazy in love with me if I continued to be this for her. Unfortunately, I am a man, and have the emotional depth of a quickly evaporating puddle in the summer. She has already explored that abyss, and so I need a constant stream of new ladies to make me feel the excitement of female interest. They too learn all there is to know fairly quickly and it's best if we all just move on without destroying our lives!

Anonymous wrote:You need to feel that romantic “spark”, that sexual tension and chemistry one gets at the start of a new relationship - and these feelings need to be reciprocated.

The other big clue is secrecy - do you hide this relationship from your spouse? If your spouse saw your interactions, would he/she be okay with it? If not, it’s an EA.

This. It is everything but the physical though my fantasies played out the physical part in the wildest of ways.

It's when a wife finds out her husband has been trying to close the deal with his secretary--just never made it across the finish line.

A failed conquest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually had an emotional affair and it is so distinct from friendship with someone of the opposite sex. It was so intimate and so sexual and so many boundaries were crossed that I would not cross with a male friend.

OP, if it was sexual then it was not an emotional affair, it was a sexual affair.

But we never had sex! Or even touched in a sexual way! But we did manage to express very intimate and detailed desires for one another. It was hot- and totally nuts.

Whenever I read stuff like this it always amazes me that there are men who participate in strictly EAs without trying to escalate to PA.

Some of us guys are starved for affection too!

I gave him a lot of verbal affirmation- I genuinely thought he was a great guy and I sort of still do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually had an emotional affair and it is so distinct from friendship with someone of the opposite sex. It was so intimate and so sexual and so many boundaries were crossed that I would not cross with a male friend.

OP, if it was sexual then it was not an emotional affair, it was a sexual affair.

But we never had sex! Or even touched in a sexual way! But we did manage to express very intimate and detailed desires for one another. It was hot- and totally nuts.

Whenever I read stuff like this it always amazes me that there are men who participate in strictly EAs without trying to escalate to PA.

How did you get out of this before escalation?

Oh, I’m pretty sure he would have jumped out of a window to have sex with me. He could have been lying but he told me his marriage was icy and you know what, I believe him.

I’m very attractive and a bit out of his league (especially as a married man!) so he was willing to wait until I was ready, but when it became clear that my own guilt and terror were going to keep me from ever going to bed with him I think he let me down gently. I’m still grateful to him for that! It was too frustrating for him and I was annoying and emotionally distraught.

I keep his messages in a notepad file and read them occasionally. He was a fantastic writer and they are better than the dirtiest of dirty stories. 🥵

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually had an emotional affair and it is so distinct from friendship with someone of the opposite sex. It was so intimate and so sexual and so many boundaries were crossed that I would not cross with a male friend.

OP, if it was sexual then it was not an emotional affair, it was a sexual affair.

But we never had sex! Or even touched in a sexual way! But we did manage to express very intimate and detailed desires for one another. It was hot- and totally nuts.

Whenever I read stuff like this it always amazes me that there are men who participate in strictly EAs without trying to escalate to PA.

Some of us guys are starved for affection too!