Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High conflict indicates OP is part of the problem.

I don’t read their message that way, but I think OP is right that it’s triggering some on here.
In my case, it took me a minute to figure out how to handle everything and I figured it would take my ex a minute too. The difference is that while I eventually zeroed in on finding solutions and trying to be somewhat flexible after we got divorced, my ex just kept looking for ways to create problems. The experts say “high conflict” from both sides is common soon after, but in some cases comes from just one side so the label sticks.

Not PP. but I read it too that OP is trouble.

No, I think OP has a bad lawyer and wants to move things forward.

OP I don’t think there’s any substitute for having long interviews with the lawyers on your short list. Ask them what they will do to move the case forward.

I agree. I think OP had or has a bad lawyer for their case and wants to move things forward. My friends in Arlington and Alexandria (Fairfax) could’ve written that post and they’re learning but their exes are fixated. Was following for new names for them but too many of us here not answering OP’s question. Maybe OP’s ex or ex’s 🙉 are trolling…this is a small world

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High conflict indicates OP is part of the problem.

I don’t read their message that way, but I think OP is right that it’s triggering some on here.
In my case, it took me a minute to figure out how to handle everything and I figured it would take my ex a minute too. The difference is that while I eventually zeroed in on finding solutions and trying to be somewhat flexible after we got divorced, my ex just kept looking for ways to create problems. The experts say “high conflict” from both sides is common soon after, but in some cases comes from just one side so the label sticks.

Not PP. but I read it too that OP is trouble.

No, I think OP has a bad lawyer and wants to move things forward.

OP I don’t think there’s any substitute for having long interviews with the lawyers on your short list. Ask them what they will do to move the case forward.

Thank you. The attorneys who have seen my agreement say it was poorly negotiated and written, and that it seems my attorney just wanted to move on to the next case. The result is enabling conflict, to put it simply. I just want to move on. Peace and saving for the kids instead of paying legal fees is what’s best not just for the kids and me but for my ex - they need both parents to be ok.

So you are the one causing conflict because now you don’t like the agreement that you agreed to? Because if it was your ex not agreeing with the custody agreement now, you could very easily agree to a new schedule based on their request and submit to the court.

No. Even when an agreement is more favorable to an ex, an ex can still resent the agreement they signed and have other motivations. The language of a poorly written contract can enable that high conflict party.

Seems like it’s too hard to consider possibilities other than the overly simplistic “OP is the problem”. Not sure if you’re the one who keeps posing this line of answer to my question. I clarified more than enough so those who do want to answer my question (attorney recommendations) can and in case my situation resonates with others who have a similar experience, so I’m stepping out of this discussion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High conflict indicates OP is part of the problem.

I don’t read their message that way, but I think OP is right that it’s triggering some on here.
In my case, it took me a minute to figure out how to handle everything and I figured it would take my ex a minute too. The difference is that while I eventually zeroed in on finding solutions and trying to be somewhat flexible after we got divorced, my ex just kept looking for ways to create problems. The experts say “high conflict” from both sides is common soon after, but in some cases comes from just one side so the label sticks.

Not PP. but I read it too that OP is trouble.

No, I think OP has a bad lawyer and wants to move things forward.

OP I don’t think there’s any substitute for having long interviews with the lawyers on your short list. Ask them what they will do to move the case forward.

Thank you. The attorneys who have seen my agreement say it was poorly negotiated and written, and that it seems my attorney just wanted to move on to the next case. The result is enabling conflict, to put it simply. I just want to move on. Peace and saving for the kids instead of paying legal fees is what’s best not just for the kids and me but for my ex - they need both parents to be ok.

Anonymous wrote:Stay out of court. It is a circus. Esp in the DMV souch corruption.

Definitely hoping to stay out of court!

Anonymous wrote:Renee Sandler is great. She's in moco but may handle Va cases or will know someone ethical who can. She is ethical. Finding an ethical family attorney is like finding a unicorn. The corrupt dirty ones are a dime a dozen. Or more like hundreds of thousands to destroy both your ex and your child/ren.

Thank you! Exactly, ethical. I don’t want anyone destroyed.

Stay out of court. It is a circus. Esp in the DMV souch corruption.

Anonymous wrote:I am divorcing someone with a personality disorder.

The best thing I did was do marriage counseling for a few months to calm things down. Counselor (male) gave him several reality checks. It was not 100% and am still dealing with a lot of volatility. But it was enough to get us to mediation.

Not saying you haven’t tried OP, but court is not the place you want to meet a high conflict person unless you absolutely have no other option. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

I’m sorry. That’s hard.
Thank you. Definitely want to avoid court if possible. Just want basic stuff in FOD done and not have to deal with false claims, although I’m not sure anyone can stop the latter.

Renee Sandler is great. She's in moco but may handle Va cases or will know someone ethical who can. She is ethical. Finding an ethical family attorney is like finding a unicorn. The corrupt dirty ones are a dime a dozen. Or more like hundreds of thousands to destroy both your ex and your child/ren.