It is just downright rude as well as offensive to Venmo guests after a baby shower for the co$t of their food + drinks!!? 😲

I mean…..they brought a baby shower gift I assume!!?

If this person is insistent on hosting your baby shower >> make sure to let her know that in no uncertain terms are your guests to be “billed” for their refreshments afterward.

Let her know that if $$ is an issue - that you have no issue w/covering the costs of all food & beverages provided.

Inviting people to a party and asking them to pay to attend is the height of tackiness.

Maybe an unpopular opinion but I think the baby shower tradition is outdated. The majority of my friends and I went to spas and had brunch instead. Friends split the check of the one we're celebrating.

Champagne for everyone
Nibbles and treats for eating
baby themed decorations
a cake

I hosted one for my friend's daughter and I did all the food, decorations, drinks, cake, etc. One friend loves doing balloon walls so she did that and it made for a great backdrop for opening presents and photos. One woman did the baby shower guessing game, where each bag had a baby gift in it that started with that letter, and whoever guessed the most got a gift, and the mom-to-be got all the stuff in the bags. Even though friends contributed, they asked in advance if it was OK, but otherwise, yeah, the host actually hosts.

Anonymous wrote:I recently hosted- so I did all the cleaning and prep and rentals for a sit down dinner for 16. The brides mom, who was out of town, paid for the food. It was lovely! It can be as fancy or as DIY as possible.

Touches? ? Ask people to bring a children’s book instead of a card and to write inside it.
Give away centerpieces to guests who win prizes.
Play the “baby” game with safety pins. Winner gets a centerpiece.

Have ice breakers about the parents on table winning table wins a prize.

Handmade favors - seasonally appropriate or fancy cookies

This honestly sounds lovely. I'd love the book idea. Did you ask the mom to be or did she ask for that?

I know sprinkles are different but last weekend no games, no mom/baby touches, no favors, questions about the parents to be... it was so bizarre. But this sounds like a lovely shower.

Op

I recently hosted- so I did all the cleaning and prep and rentals for a sit down dinner for 16. The brides mom, who was out of town, paid for the food. It was lovely! It can be as fancy or as DIY as possible.

Touches? ? Ask people to bring a children’s book instead of a card and to write inside it.
Give away centerpieces to guests who win prizes.
Play the “baby” game with safety pins. Winner gets a centerpiece.

Have ice breakers about the parents on table winning table wins a prize.

Handmade favors - seasonally appropriate or fancy cookies

Anonymous wrote:How much was the brunch?

The cost isn't the issue. But I was sent a Venmo for $96. The host ordered apps for the table and I'm earlier in my pregnancy and not comfortable with eating some things. She ordered soft cheeses, charcuterie, Caesar with anchovies and egg yolk...things like that. For my main I ordered an app $17- meatballs well done.

If we are paying obviously I'm going to split the guest of honors meal too but she had an avocado toast dish that was around $18 and two non alcoholic drinks. Plus her share of apps

Non app meals at this place ran from $26-60 a plate. I wasn't paying attn to anyone else's food.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve hosted several in my home - both bridal and baby. Mid Afternoon time slot, light and healthy foods served buffet on my dining room table, plus desserts. Modest decorations and flowers. A few games and of course gift opening.

I’ve been to some crazy ones at restaurants that were OTT and I don’t know why people put that pressure on themselves or if the guest of honor is applying the pressure but it’s ridiculous.

As someone who's hosted what you would consider OTT baby showers, please rest assured I feel no pressure. I just like throwing parties for my friends. I always go to the same florist, same balloon people, same two bakeries, and have a lot of fun setting it up. It's a nice change from my super serious formal job!

Given all the info, I'd be very firm and clear that you do not want a shower. She's to throw no surprise shower for you under any circumstance. If she presses for a reason, and something tells me she might (she sounds really bossy), then be frank with her.

Frankly she sounds very inconsiderate.