Just say nope, not hosting anything and looking forward to a quiet day with DH and kids this year. Communicate with your DH if there's anything in particular you'd like him to do or not do.

My DH knows all I want for MD is to be off duty for all meals (don't care whether he cooks, gets takeout, or makes reservations to go out) and kids to make cards for me. My mom and MIL are not local; they get flowers and a card. Anybody else (aunts, etc.) get a text.

If you have a bunch of local family you'd like to see on MD you could ask if they want to meet out at a restaurant, though that might not be fun for you with a baby and a toddler.

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents day is in October. Idk why people try ri steal mothers day away from active duty moms

Because boomers are selfish.

Anonymous wrote:I’d laugh and say oh hell no!

You could also say I’m really taken a back. I have a toddler and newborn which is an intense amount of work. Cleaning, cooking , serving and cleaning up after all of you last year was hard enough. I can’t imagine doing that again on a day that supposed to celebrate me too. It’s so thoughtless for you to even ask.

This is so rude. Don’t do this.

This is not a trick question. OP hosted last year so it left an impression that it might happen again. Fine to say, no I’m not.

I think something like "We are barely managing our own meals. Hosting anybody is not something we can think about right now" is appropriate.

Anonymous wrote:The newborn is an excellent reason to create new hosting rules for yourself! Just start saying “with two kids, it’s just too hard to host. I can manage (pick the holidays that you want to do), but anything more will be overwhelming.” Rinse and repeat until they get it.

Oh, and do not be guilted into planning Mother’s Day activities for anyone! Tell your DH what you’d like and have him execute. If anyone else is expecting plans, their DH can talk to yours.

No. Don’t negotiate it and above all, do not commit to hosting any future holidays either unless you’re 100% willing and able to host. Just say to Mother’s Day and leave it at that.

Anonymous wrote:I would just say, Not this year! and leave it at that.

This. You hosted last year so the person checked. It wasn’t too tactful of them to ask, but whatever. Take it at face value and just respond factually- not this year.

I love being far away from both families on Mother's Day. I get to do whatever I want!

The newborn is an excellent reason to create new hosting rules for yourself! Just start saying “with two kids, it’s just too hard to host. I can manage (pick the holidays that you want to do), but anything more will be overwhelming.” Rinse and repeat until they get it.

Oh, and do not be guilted into planning Mother’s Day activities for anyone! Tell your DH what you’d like and have him execute. If anyone else is expecting plans, their DH can talk to yours.

Grandparents day is in October. Idk why people try ri steal mothers day away from active duty moms

Anonymous wrote:The restaurant hosts.

This. And, as pp noted - it’s ok to say no to anything you want. Only you make your plans.

Anonymous wrote:“We’re not hosting, we’re just enjoying a nice day together.”

[If they balk]

“I’m not sure why you think it would be on me to host something, especially as I hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas. That’s a lot of work, and I have young kids. Maybe someone else should take a turn.”

Too many words.

“We are not hosting and spending a quiet day together.”

[If they balk]

“I have to go. Goodbye.” Hang up phone

Anonymous wrote:The restaurant hosts.

.

This. No get together with extended family. We call my mom and MIL. I pick the restaurant and we eat there or get take out depending on my mood.

“No, I’m not.”

Why is it difficult to answer this?

“We’re not hosting, we’re just enjoying a nice day together.”

[If they balk]

“I’m not sure why you think it would be on me to host something, especially as I hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas. That’s a lot of work, and I have young kids. Maybe someone else should take a turn.”