I just got engaged and I would have been super annoyed had my fiance just bought a ring for me. I have to wear it every day and don’t get any say in it?? For now, I would like to wear my grandmother’s. If I ever find something I like (not a diamond), I want to feel guilt free getting it. Finances aren’t really the issue, though I don’t like to waste money needlessly, and an expensive ring would have been a waste and a cheap one offensive. Have you spoken to the woman you are marrying about her thoughts?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I make a little under 20k month gross and that seems like a lot for a ring. I will spend it if necessary but I prefer to stick to under 30k and ideally $15-25k. Below is what I’m looking into buying.

Shape - round or cushion cut
Carat - 1.5-2 carats
Band - Solitaire, pave, and halo

She wants a very simple plain thin wedding ring.

You should buy the highest quality and cut round 1.5-2C solitaire you can. At your salary she will absolutely expect around a $25-30K ring. It’s the rest of your lives, look like it.

I think this is good advice, mostly. Stick closer to 1.5 ct, best quality. 2 ct and up is just too much ring for every day wear IMO. It looks ostentatious. Does that describe her? If not, be careful not to go too big.

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40 and now would totally get a lab ring. I don’t even wear my ring anymore as I got an Amazon ring that was a good match for travel and just wear that instead. Original ring was 1.5 ct on a pave band that was like 12k in 2010.

Similar. My ring is a 1.5 carat pear in a setting with some tiny bezel set side diamonds. It was a little over 10k in 2015. Today, I would definitely go with a lab diamond. I do wear my ring every day and love it though.

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to propose to my lovely gf soon and I’m not sure how much to spend on a ring. Is 2-3 months salary still the normal?

It’s not what my husband spent on my rings, and I would have been angry if he had spent that much. We were going to start building a life and we needed to buy and sell a house, and a ring was not the biggest priority.

OP here. She is not expecting a big expensive ring - I want to give her one. She loves me for me, not for what I buy her. I still want to buy her a nice ring but don’t want to spend 2-3 months salary on one for some “ rule”.

If she expects you to spend money on her to marry her…move on. She should be wanting to marry you for you, not for the jewelry you hold in front of you. If you are only worth marrying if you buy expensive gifts…is that really what you want to sign up for?

Engagement rings are an old sexist tradition. If you want to give her a gift, great. But the the idea it has to be a very expensive ring…is really just marketing from diamond companies.

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to propose to my lovely gf soon and I’m not sure how much to spend on a ring. Is 2-3 months salary still the normal?

Who made up that ridiculous rule?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I make a little under 20k month gross and that seems like a lot for a ring. I will spend it if necessary but I prefer to stick to under 30k and ideally $15-25k. Below is what I’m looking into buying.

Shape - round or cushion cut
Carat - 1.5-2 carats
Band - Solitaire, pave, and halo

She wants a very simple plain thin wedding ring.

You should buy the highest quality and cut round 1.5-2C solitaire you can. At your salary she will absolutely expect around a $25-30K ring. It’s the rest of your lives, look like it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. Gross salary, not net.

That is stupid advice. When I got engaged my DH's gross monthly salary was $13,000. 2-3 months salary would be a ring between $26,000-$39,000. Who wants a ring that expensive?!?

Also DH's gross salary is now $38,000 - I would NEVER tell him to get a ring that was 2-3 months salary!

Yikes what happened to your DH?

Well, if you want to keep it a surprise, do you know any of her close girlfriends that you could take shopping? If marriage is not completely out of left field to you all she's likely shared some info with her closest pals.

Ask mom and grandmother if they want to pass on a family ring. You can propose with it and later both go together to buy new one if she wants to or just keep money for wedding or house.

No pave no halo.

With the money you are thinking please do not do that.

Pave is yuck, and cheap looking, and halo the tiny diamonds fall out.

Halo is just a way to make the diamond look bigger given your budget you don't need to do that. Yuck.

Both are asking for issues down the road.

Some women will be disappointed by a small ring. Others will be disappointed if you spend money on a ring that you could have used for something that is more important to her or you together. If you don't know, ask - which is a good rule for marriage.

If she’s picky and high maintenance about a ring, run. Things will only get worse for you.

OP PP again.

Clean Origin process of looking at diamonds works for Natural stones as well if that is what your partner and you want. Although they don't sell Natural ones there. I would still try and do this as it really is fabulous in terms of acquiring knowledge of likes and dislikes in stones, shapes, sizes and also mounting, basket or solitare.