Anonymous wrote:It's okay to change. Priorities change and it will surprise you. I am retired and can't believe all the effort I put into my career but it was appropriate for that phase of life and I did a good job and supported my family. I have moved on and it feels good. This happens at different life stages (college, kids, etc.) and there are new things to do and ways to change. Be open to them.

Love this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The things that DCUM starts fight threads about are mostly irrelevant, but the things that DCUM doesn’t like to talk about have profound impact.

Can you give some examples of the latter?

NP. This is spot on. Look at the environment forum. It barely gets any traffic but there will be 40 pages about whether it’s rude to not send hand written thank you notes. Meanwhile, we continue to destroy the environment for our kids.

Get enough sleep.

Actions catch up with you later. Make sure to avoid cigarettes, too much sun, don't drink excessively.

Learn to advocate for yourself and maintain boundaries, but also remember to give back to others who are not as fortunate.

Don't give up your dreams for someone else.

Surround yourself with a good support network.

Make time for yourself every day, even just taking a walk.

Vacations are worth it.

Relationships, yoga, less alcohol.

Acceptance. There's nothing easy about it. Not forgiveness but acceptance. All bad luck trauma regrets etc - all the beautiful things as well in life- you have to accept everything as it comes. There's no peace without it and no therapy can give it to you. Acceptance that everything is as it should be. You're pretty much free to live your life in your own terms once you understand the power of acceptance.

It's okay to change. Priorities change and it will surprise you. I am retired and can't believe all the effort I put into my career but it was appropriate for that phase of life and I did a good job and supported my family. I have moved on and it feels good. This happens at different life stages (college, kids, etc.) and there are new things to do and ways to change. Be open to them.

Prioritize yourself and the people you love deeply. Don’t change for others. Gently get rid of the toxic people in your life (no need for confrontation, just move on).

Stay healthy, get outside, laugh, enjoy the small things, take the trips. Wear what you want, just enjoy.

There are some really hurt people posting on this thread. Here’s what I’d say:

Wear comfortable shoes. Nothing is worth having foot pain.

Listen to happy music. Watch happy shows and read happy books. All these things are better than Prozac.

The stuff about “marriage is hard work” is oversold. Life is hard work but marriage itself should not be. Marriage should be easy so that when the hard stuff (unemployment, illness, etc.) comes along you have the emotional energy to deal with it together.

Most people are good. But about 10-20% of people are awful and potentially dangerous. Act generally as thought the peolle around you are good people but be on guard for that significant minority of awful people.

A good rule of thumb for whether is okay — if everyone did it, would that be a world I would want to live in? (Eg throwing your wrapper in ground, failing to pay taxes, etc.)

Anonymous wrote:An _excellent_ mattress is really important throughout adult life.

lol!!

Long term relationships. At least one person who you can call an rant about things and they still answer your call and speak to you the next day and onwards. AND you let them do the same.

Relationships are hard to start, a challenge to build and difficult to maintain. But, it doesn't have to be that way.

You can have all the money in the world and no one talks to you. That's bad. You can be the poorest person and people still talk to you, that's a gem.

Anonymous wrote:The things that DCUM starts fight threads about are mostly irrelevant, but the things that DCUM doesn’t like to talk about have profound impact.

Can you give some examples of the latter?

Anonymous wrote:What are the things that are truly matter based on what you have learned in life so far?

That other people matter less and less. Where you live matters as much as you let it. Some places attract happy people. Some places attract miserable people. Most of the places I have lived have been the former, DC is most definitely the latter - and they want you to be at least as miserable as they are.

If you are friendly or kind, they are suspicious, take it the wrong way, and think you make them look bad - as if that is at all a difficult feat. Come to think of it, most positive things are turned into a negative, in favor of their ever so slight and ever fleeting bare spark of dopamine, which never really helps them, at all. A contest to be rude, miserable and critical of others - what a life! No thanks. I'll do me, and your opinion will be of zero consequence, once again.

To quote Modern Family, “family should be the wind at your back not the spit in your face” trying to buffer my children from hurt/failure/embarrassment left them feeling incompetent/judged/unsupported in the end I spared them nothing and hurt them more. If I could go back I would be the wind and let the world be the spit!

An _excellent_ mattress is really important throughout adult life.

Don’t masturbate