Op here. Thank you all. Yes, and many of the outings are pay ahead types so my contribution is being requested. Living this distance, I can no longer commit to contributing to the costs of brunches or other activities.

Never to once a year.

Anonymous wrote:They are inviting you to be nice, not that they expect you to actually be there. Notice that it's all one way, you visit them. They aren't planning things half way or planning to meet you in your new area.

Probably only fake inviting her because they’re all in a long running group chat

Anonymous wrote:What’s reasonable?

I have a friend group who seems to have a large expectation that I will visit for brunches and other outings regularly. I now live three hours outside of the DC region.

Am I being unreasonable? Its quite a bit to hit the road every other weekend or so for brunch having small kids at home.

So they expect you to make day trips that will have you driving 6 hours roundtrip? That's insane to me.

My best friend lives 3-3.5 hours away and we get together often but we always spend at least one night together. Mostly with kids, sometimes with husbands, sometimes just the two of us.

As one PP said, nice that they still invite you though - I would thank them for continuing to think of you and try to make it there every once in awhile if reasonable. If they're being rude about it, then just stop responding at all and maybe they'll drop you.

Anonymous wrote:Once a year max? But it’s nice they still invite you.

+1

Op, do you see the irony of asking strangers on the internet to tell you how often you should see your friends, and also your friends telling you too.

How about you decide.

OP -- know what you can do, and state it.

If you are just sometimes showing up, sometimes not, and not communicating your limitations, they don't know what to think.

I don't think I'd see someone who lived 3h away more than once a year. And that is pushing it honestly.

Time to find new local friends?

They are inviting you to be nice, not that they expect you to actually be there. Notice that it's all one way, you visit them. They aren't planning things half way or planning to meet you in your new area.

3 hours one-way ... and everyone has kids? Unless you're all in the same specific travel sports orbit (unlikely), I'd assume maybe once a year?

I moved a similar distance away, and try to see my friends 2-4 times a year. I don’t think your friends expect to see you every time, but they want you to feel included, and that’s lovely.

We moved three hours away and see those friends maybe once or twice a year.

I live in MoCo and barely see my friends on Annapolis or Calvert county anymore.

Maybe they just want you to feel included but it's really more of a join when you can.

We see our 3-hr-away friends 3-4x a year but almost always make it an overnight at one of our homes.