Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with about half of that article.

Agree
- Don’t yell discouraging stuff at your kid, and definitely not at someone else’s kid.
- Don’t yell decision-making stuff “shoot, pass, switch the field, etc”
- Don’t belittle the other team. This is a cardinal rule.
- Don’t yell at the ref about inconsequential things like throw-ins, and give him/her a chance to call the foul before you react. Also, don’t just react to what happens to the players - a legal challenge can still knock a player down.

Disagree
- Don’t just enjoy the game quietly. That’s boring. Sports are meant for you to get into. Cheer loudly when your kids’ team makes a good play, and it’s ok to feel something (and show it) when a shot just misses.
- Encourage your kid. I’ve known a number of world-class athletes, including NBA / NFL families, Olympic level swimmers, national team level soccer players. Every single one of them had loud parents. Not obnoxious, or negative, but loud.
- If you’re lucky enough to know about the game, yes, analyze after the game. Watch Veo film with them. You have the luxury of not having to run the whole time, having a better view of the whole field, etc. You’re probably also singularly focused on your kid, while their coach has to spread his/her attention across 18. Ask your child probing questions and offer your thoughts in what went well and what didn’t.
- Don’t harass the ref, but absolutely react to egregiously bad calls that change the game, factually incorrect calls, or dangerous play. Especially at lower levels or uLittle, do not expect that the ref or even your child’s coach knows about or is paying attention to the build out line, rules about keepers punting, heading rules, etc. They should be on top of all of this, but are not consistently. Especially at ages where you don’t have linesmen.

Leave the referees alone and shut the hell up.
Hopefully your harassment let's the ref be biased against your kids team.

I'm a referee and so are my kids. They are 15 and 17. I think it's BS that all the effort is to shut the parents and the coaches up, but referees have ZERO accountability for what they are doing out there. ZERO! They show up late, out of uniform, don't move, don't check the kids in, don't check the fields, don't know the Laws or the rules of competition for that league. They just don't care. They just want to make a couple of bucks. Although screaming at referees probably won't make the situation any better, there needs to be something put in place to hold referees accountable. Personally, I don't like to be screamed at by people who don't know what they are talking about, but I certainly don't mind the...let them play or "that's a foul" or "how is that a foul", because I feel like that constant feedback keeps me more focused. But some of these referees are horrendous and something needs to be done. There are all different levels of soccer. I don't believe anyone should be yelling at a U8 or U9 ref because everyone is just learning the ropes, but, as you start reffing older and older refs, the standards need to rise.

It's simple...if there are issues, let the coach deal with it. Parents shouting is stupid and counterproductive.
They can be held accountable, and the coaches know the proper channels to do so.
Just remember, the reason that there are lots of bad referees is becasue there's a huge ref shortage. And there's a huge ref shortage because (among other things) screaming parents.
If you're really a ref....and I doubt it...you should know better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with about half of that article.

Agree
- Don’t yell discouraging stuff at your kid, and definitely not at someone else’s kid.
- Don’t yell decision-making stuff “shoot, pass, switch the field, etc”
- Don’t belittle the other team. This is a cardinal rule.
- Don’t yell at the ref about inconsequential things like throw-ins, and give him/her a chance to call the foul before you react. Also, don’t just react to what happens to the players - a legal challenge can still knock a player down.

Disagree
- Don’t just enjoy the game quietly. That’s boring. Sports are meant for you to get into. Cheer loudly when your kids’ team makes a good play, and it’s ok to feel something (and show it) when a shot just misses.
- Encourage your kid. I’ve known a number of world-class athletes, including NBA / NFL families, Olympic level swimmers, national team level soccer players. Every single one of them had loud parents. Not obnoxious, or negative, but loud.
- If you’re lucky enough to know about the game, yes, analyze after the game. Watch Veo film with them. You have the luxury of not having to run the whole time, having a better view of the whole field, etc. You’re probably also singularly focused on your kid, while their coach has to spread his/her attention across 18. Ask your child probing questions and offer your thoughts in what went well and what didn’t.
- Don’t harass the ref, but absolutely react to egregiously bad calls that change the game, factually incorrect calls, or dangerous play. Especially at lower levels or uLittle, do not expect that the ref or even your child’s coach knows about or is paying attention to the build out line, rules about keepers punting, heading rules, etc. They should be on top of all of this, but are not consistently. Especially at ages where you don’t have linesmen.

Leave the referees alone and shut the hell up.
Hopefully your harassment let's the ref be biased against your kids team.

I'm a referee and so are my kids. They are 15 and 17. I think it's BS that all the effort is to shut the parents and the coaches up, but referees have ZERO accountability for what they are doing out there. ZERO! They show up late, out of uniform, don't move, don't check the kids in, don't check the fields, don't know the Laws or the rules of competition for that league. They just don't care. They just want to make a couple of bucks. Although screaming at referees probably won't make the situation any better, there needs to be something put in place to hold referees accountable. Personally, I don't like to be screamed at by people who don't know what they are talking about, but I certainly don't mind the...let them play or "that's a foul" or "how is that a foul", because I feel like that constant feedback keeps me more focused. But some of these referees are horrendous and something needs to be done. There are all different levels of soccer. I don't believe anyone should be yelling at a U8 or U9 ref because everyone is just learning the ropes, but, as you start reffing older and older refs, the standards need to rise.

Anonymous wrote:The fundamental problem is low expectations of reffing and the toxic effects it has. Soccer has become even more of a business. The money involve means there are expectations that poor performing refs need to be held accountable. (As do crazy parents). Right now the focus has been on parents, and rightly so. But it doesn’t fix the fundamental problem that reffing certification and training needs to improve. At minimum need an adult to supervise, as parents are intimidating them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with about half of that article.

Agree
- Don’t yell discouraging stuff at your kid, and definitely not at someone else’s kid.
- Don’t yell decision-making stuff “shoot, pass, switch the field, etc”
- Don’t belittle the other team. This is a cardinal rule.
- Don’t yell at the ref about inconsequential things like throw-ins, and give him/her a chance to call the foul before you react. Also, don’t just react to what happens to the players - a legal challenge can still knock a player down.

Disagree
- Don’t just enjoy the game quietly. That’s boring. Sports are meant for you to get into. Cheer loudly when your kids’ team makes a good play, and it’s ok to feel something (and show it) when a shot just misses.
- Encourage your kid. I’ve known a number of world-class athletes, including NBA / NFL families, Olympic level swimmers, national team level soccer players. Every single one of them had loud parents. Not obnoxious, or negative, but loud.
- If you’re lucky enough to know about the game, yes, analyze after the game. Watch Veo film with them. You have the luxury of not having to run the whole time, having a better view of the whole field, etc. You’re probably also singularly focused on your kid, while their coach has to spread his/her attention across 18. Ask your child probing questions and offer your thoughts in what went well and what didn’t.
- Don’t harass the ref, but absolutely react to egregiously bad calls that change the game, factually incorrect calls, or dangerous play. Especially at lower levels or uLittle, do not expect that the ref or even your child’s coach knows about or is paying attention to the build out line, rules about keepers punting, heading rules, etc. They should be on top of all of this, but are not consistently. Especially at ages where you don’t have linesmen.

Leave the referees alone and shut the hell up.
Hopefully your harassment let's the ref be biased against your kids team.

I'm a referee and so are my kids. They are 15 and 17. I think it's BS that all the effort is to shut the parents and the coaches up, but referees have ZERO accountability for what they are doing out there. ZERO! They show up late, out of uniform, don't move, don't check the kids in, don't check the fields, don't know the Laws or the rules of competition for that league. They just don't care. They just want to make a couple of bucks. Although screaming at referees probably won't make the situation any better, there needs to be something put in place to hold referees accountable. Personally, I don't like to be screamed at by people who don't know what they are talking about, but I certainly don't mind the...let them play or "that's a foul" or "how is that a foul", because I feel like that constant feedback keeps me more focused. But some of these referees are horrendous and something needs to be done. There are all different levels of soccer. I don't believe anyone should be yelling at a U8 or U9 ref because everyone is just learning the ropes, but, as you start reffing older and older refs, the standards need to rise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with about half of that article.

Agree
- Don’t yell discouraging stuff at your kid, and definitely not at someone else’s kid.
- Don’t yell decision-making stuff “shoot, pass, switch the field, etc”
- Don’t belittle the other team. This is a cardinal rule.
- Don’t yell at the ref about inconsequential things like throw-ins, and give him/her a chance to call the foul before you react. Also, don’t just react to what happens to the players - a legal challenge can still knock a player down.

Disagree
- Don’t just enjoy the game quietly. That’s boring. Sports are meant for you to get into. Cheer loudly when your kids’ team makes a good play, and it’s ok to feel something (and show it) when a shot just misses.
- Encourage your kid. I’ve known a number of world-class athletes, including NBA / NFL families, Olympic level swimmers, national team level soccer players. Every single one of them had loud parents. Not obnoxious, or negative, but loud.
- If you’re lucky enough to know about the game, yes, analyze after the game. Watch Veo film with them. You have the luxury of not having to run the whole time, having a better view of the whole field, etc. You’re probably also singularly focused on your kid, while their coach has to spread his/her attention across 18. Ask your child probing questions and offer your thoughts in what went well and what didn’t.
- Don’t harass the ref, but absolutely react to egregiously bad calls that change the game, factually incorrect calls, or dangerous play. Especially at lower levels or uLittle, do not expect that the ref or even your child’s coach knows about or is paying attention to the build out line, rules about keepers punting, heading rules, etc. They should be on top of all of this, but are not consistently. Especially at ages where you don’t have linesmen.

Leave the referees alone and shut the hell up.
Hopefully your harassment let's the ref be biased against your kids team.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with about half of that article.

Agree
- Don’t yell discouraging stuff at your kid, and definitely not at someone else’s kid.
- Don’t yell decision-making stuff “shoot, pass, switch the field, etc”
- Don’t belittle the other team. This is a cardinal rule.
- Don’t yell at the ref about inconsequential things like throw-ins, and give him/her a chance to call the foul before you react. Also, don’t just react to what happens to the players - a legal challenge can still knock a player down.

Disagree
- Don’t just enjoy the game quietly. That’s boring. Sports are meant for you to get into. Cheer loudly when your kids’ team makes a good play, and it’s ok to feel something (and show it) when a shot just misses.
- Encourage your kid. I’ve known a number of world-class athletes, including NBA / NFL families, Olympic level swimmers, national team level soccer players. Every single one of them had loud parents. Not obnoxious, or negative, but loud.
- If you’re lucky enough to know about the game, yes, analyze after the game. Watch Veo film with them. You have the luxury of not having to run the whole time, having a better view of the whole field, etc. You’re probably also singularly focused on your kid, while their coach has to spread his/her attention across 18. Ask your child probing questions and offer your thoughts in what went well and what didn’t.
- Don’t harass the ref, but absolutely react to egregiously bad calls that change the game, factually incorrect calls, or dangerous play. Especially at lower levels or uLittle, do not expect that the ref or even your child’s coach knows about or is paying attention to the build out line, rules about keepers punting, heading rules, etc. They should be on top of all of this, but are not consistently. Especially at ages where you don’t have linesmen.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with about half of that article.

Agree
- Don’t yell discouraging stuff at your kid, and definitely not at someone else’s kid.
- Don’t yell decision-making stuff “shoot, pass, switch the field, etc”
- Don’t belittle the other team. This is a cardinal rule.
- Don’t yell at the ref about inconsequential things like throw-ins, and give him/her a chance to call the foul before you react. Also, don’t just react to what happens to the players - a legal challenge can still knock a player down.

Disagree
- Don’t just enjoy the game quietly. That’s boring. Sports are meant for you to get into. Cheer loudly when your kids’ team makes a good play, and it’s ok to feel something (and show it) when a shot just misses.
- Encourage your kid. I’ve known a number of world-class athletes, including NBA / NFL families, Olympic level swimmers, national team level soccer players. Every single one of them had loud parents. Not obnoxious, or negative, but loud.
- If you’re lucky enough to know about the game, yes, analyze after the game. Watch Veo film with them. You have the luxury of not having to run the whole time, having a better view of the whole field, etc. You’re probably also singularly focused on your kid, while their coach has to spread his/her attention across 18. Ask your child probing questions and offer your thoughts in what went well and what didn’t.
- Don’t harass the ref, but absolutely react to egregiously bad calls that change the game, factually incorrect calls, or dangerous play. Especially at lower levels or uLittle, do not expect that the ref or even your child’s coach knows about or is paying attention to the build out line, rules about keepers punting, heading rules, etc. They should be on top of all of this, but are not consistently. Especially at ages where you don’t have linesmen.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the spirit but I think the author takes it a bit too far. I'm not a soccer fan and rarely go to games, but it seems to me okay to yell stuff at your kid like "You got it!" "Wheels on!" "Defend that ball!" "Take the shot!" etc. I've never thought that was over the line. Particularly if the kids are older or more experienced players. (It's probably not helpful for 5-6 year olds, who are basically just trying to remember to run in the right direction.)

The last game I was at, there was a dad RIGHT on the line (when everyone else was in the stands) yelling stuff at his kid the whole time, and saying very targeted things like "you're faster than him." There was a foul where his kid kicked a kid on the other team, the other player said something like "hey, you kicked me", and the dad yelled at him "You deserved it!" A bunch of us in the stands told him to cool it and let the kids play, he told us to STFU, and there was literally almost a fist fight between two dads, where they were both coming towards each other with chests out. The dad on our team thankfully decided it wasn't worth it.

THAT was some of the worse soccer dad behavior I've ever seen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The more experienced and knowledgeable the parent is about soccer, the less they're on the sidelines making a fool of themselves

This!

My DH played D1 soccer and literally never said a word. The worst parent -who thought his kid was the next Maradona (he wasn’t) - wouldn’t STFU.

He must have been riding the bench.

Anonymous wrote:The more experienced and knowledgeable the parent is about soccer, the less they're on the sidelines making a fool of themselves

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The other issue here is that when you are directing your kid from the sideline...they aren't listening to their coach.

Don't undermine your coach and confuse your child. No one learns or grows.

The worst is when they are yelling at the other teammates too and telling them what to do too.

Those kids should be given full permission to return the disrespect with a clear "shut up!"