Is this a girls sport? I feel like girls are socialized to expect so little, and I’ve been surprised by how the HS athletic departments still minimize the girls teams (inferior fields, less likely to see trainers, etc.)

Organize. The kids should stand together and make a clear demand.

I had a head coach like this for Varsity in high school. I eventually went D1 on a full ride for four years and was captain. I only give that anecdote to say that in hindsight my experience with that awful coach really built resiliency. It taught me that sometimes you have to deal with toxic people whether it is in the workplace, higher education, or elsewhere. I had to build skills to be able to manage my own reactions to that behavior and compartmentalize. I know I will be the minority where most parents like to intervene nowadays, but while it was terrible at the time, I really feel this was a life experience that served me well down the road.

OP here. There is an assistant coach that the players love. It's just frustrating that the assistant can't take over. The top player just threatened to quit - maybe that will help shake things up?

Sounds like the coach isn't very good, but also that maybe nobody else wants this job? Given the choice of having this coach, or not fielding a team at all, what would your choice be? (serious question, actually. Maybe no coach is better than a demoralizing one.)

Good luck! If you get this coach out, who do you think will replace them? MCPS is desperate for warm bodies because the lay is so low compared to the hours and expectations.