I'm 46 and have had a very rough couple of years. I haven't focused much on the right kinds of self-care and am in the worst shape of my life mentally and physically. I'm really shocked by how much my knees hurt and how little I can keep up on hikes and activities that used to be easy for me. I feel old, and it happened so quickly. I don't accept it but am sort of forced to act accordingly for now.

My DH and his parents have always prioritized fitness even through the worst times of their lives. My ILs still road bike (mostly on rail-to-trails), walk daily, hike, ski, etc. in their 70s. I come from a "comfort first" type of family who really retreat and indulge during tough times. There's probably a balance but I now acknowledge as we age it's use it or lose it, even if it's very hard.

I see very few women in my circle on the down slope and we're all mid 50s and up... most of us are more vibrant, sure, hopeful and EXCITED about what lies ahead, it's almost like a new birth! With kids grown and time 100% ours it's pretty amazing.

In my forties, I've decided to stop wearing trendy clothes that don't flatter me. Otherwise, I feel better than I ever have as an adult - I have financial security, my job is now on autopilot, and I do it on my terms, I have time and money to exercise. I also do HRT. I hear older people on this board talk about things going downhill, but to the extent that letting yourself go physically is a choice, I'm going to stay healthy and active as long as I can.

Anonymous wrote:I am currently entering menopause at 51 and it's been truly awful, physically and mentally. I was not prepared for either.

While I'm not as fit or healthy as I was at 25, I would not say I'm in poor shape overall. But, mentally, I feel ancient. I feel like my life is behind me and I'm in this state of withering. And I'm not sure how to get past it.

You’re in the middle-age happiness nadir. It’s a bad place to be, but also a great place to be, because now there’s nowhere to go but up!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the issue? Do you need to lighten the load and lose weight, increase flexibility through yoga, strength train, etc.? Maybe all of those. You have to be able to keep up with the kids if you can. Go at their pace, not force them to slow down to yours.

As for the botox, i think there are a lot lessons in beauty standards, women's health, and body autonomy you can teach your impressionable teens that will serve them well in life

I don’t agree with this. Being 60 has its limitations and it’s silly to expect a 60 year old woman to be able to keep up in terms of fitness and stamina with 16 year old kids. It’s great the OP is going on hiking trip with the kids. It’s a great experience for all, but instead of trying to catch up with teens, it’s an opportunity to teach them to be mindful of different persons abilities. But trying to increase flexibility and stamina to be able to catch up with teens is just not realistic.

Agreed. I feel like the PP fixated on the “kids” part and missed the “teens” part. Teenagers are generally the fittest, fastest, and most active humans. It’s unrealistic to try to keep up with them, even if you’re in your 30’s.

I am currently entering menopause at 51 and it's been truly awful, physically and mentally. I was not prepared for either.

While I'm not as fit or healthy as I was at 25, I would not say I'm in poor shape overall. But, mentally, I feel ancient. I feel like my life is behind me and I'm in this state of withering. And I'm not sure how to get past it.

Around 45 physically. More back and knee pains.

Around 50 mentally. My steel trap memory is no more, or maybe I’m juggling too many tasks and responsibilities.

I’m 48 and was shocked to see the last time I ran a specific marathon I just signed up for was 20 years ago. Can’t believe that much time has passed. Started training and it felt great. I’ve accepted the grey hair but hope to get in better shape again.

I’m mid-50s and have no plans to stop or significantly slow down for at least 20 years! I just hiked my first 20 mile day recently and I know many people in their early 70s who are very strong hikers. Yes, I need to be more thoughtful about sleep and nutrition, recovery takes longer, and I’ve accepted that I’m not as strong or fast as my teens. But we still hike together and they don’t have to wait for me very often!

I'm 51 and keep up with my 20-somethings kids on a hike (even the fit one!) I'm stronger and fitter now than I was at 35. Just now with more night sweats, lol

I don't worry about "looking" older beyond coloring my hair for now. I wouldn't go near botox or fillers and I'm not offended or disgusted by women in their 50s, 60s+ looking their age. My mom is 82 and thinks it's unacceptable for her to have grey hair and wrinkles.

I felt old when I went through menopause.

I’m about to turn 49 and it feels unfathomable to me that I’m almost 50. I mean-all the signs are there, but I don’t “feel” old. I recently developed a silly crush on a coworker who I thought of as my age-only to realize he’s 10+ years younger than me. Oops!

But I look in the mirror and see my Mom looking back at me.

Anonymous wrote:What was the issue? Do you need to lighten the load and lose weight, increase flexibility through yoga, strength train, etc.? Maybe all of those. You have to be able to keep up with the kids if you can. Go at their pace, not force them to slow down to yours.

As for the botox, i think there are a lot lessons in beauty standards, women's health, and body autonomy you can teach your impressionable teens that will serve them well in life

I don’t agree with this. Being 60 has its limitations and it’s silly to expect a 60 year old woman to be able to keep up in terms of fitness and stamina with 16 year old kids. It’s great the OP is going on hiking trip with the kids. It’s a great experience for all, but instead of trying to catch up with teens, it’s an opportunity to teach them to be mindful of different persons abilities. But trying to increase flexibility and stamina to be able to catch up with teens is just not realistic.

I am 49 and feel pretty great right now. I had an injury two years ago and had to really commit to physical therapy to heal. I really have to watch my diet and eat pretty little to maintain a high end of normal bmi. I miss being able to eat a lot. I can also not drink more than a couple glasses of wine or I have issues the next day, which kinda sucks. Other than that, stretching, yoga and some light weight training keep me good.

Anonymous wrote:You usually notice that you look old in photos, because your mind thinks you are still young. When you look old in photos, start going to old people's restaurants because your taste and sense of smell are gone, you can't remember stuff and don't want to learn new technology or make changes.... you are old.

I am shocked when I see pictures of people my age that I knew way back when (eg, HS, college, start of work, etc). They have gotten old