Anonymous
Post 04/01/2024 13:46     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Anonymous wrote:Peer group and classmates matter more than you think.


+1
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2024 11:16     Subject: Re:Shallow, vapid teens
I remember being a teen in the 1980's and wanting Jordache Jeans, Members Only jackets, Nike sneakers and a whole host of brand name products that were expensive. And kids were comparing what they had to what other kids had and all of that pressure. This is nothing new, all that has changed are the brand names.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2024 10:11     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Anonymous wrote:Peer group and classmates matter more than you think.


True, but it’s tricky to find a school with a strong academic/college bound focus that doesn’t also have upper middle class families willing to follow these consumeristic trends. Pick your poison.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2024 08:38     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m so glad that my teens go to a public high school that most of DCUM would never consider. There is sooo much less consumerism, and the student body seems concerned about social issues and current events. Many of the students are actively planning for life after high school and working to save for college while their peers at “better” schools are checked out while Mommy and Daddy write their applications to elite schools.


Well mine go to public also, and most are brand obsessed and care little about politics, so there.


NP but same for me at the PP. My kids go to a high FARMS public school (>70%), the consumerism and high end brand must haves are not rampant. Highest end would be Nike items. But the kids generally wear anything and everything with no regard to brand. Unfortunately most of the kids are not interested in academics either, but the ones that are, are highly motived and focused and there are many great opportunities for them there for the taking.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2024 02:22     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Peer group and classmates matter more than you think.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2024 02:20     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Anonymous wrote:I’m so glad that my teens go to a public high school that most of DCUM would never consider. There is sooo much less consumerism, and the student body seems concerned about social issues and current events. Many of the students are actively planning for life after high school and working to save for college while their peers at “better” schools are checked out while Mommy and Daddy write their applications to elite schools.


Well mine go to public also, and most are brand obsessed and care little about politics, so there.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2024 23:29     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Anonymous wrote:I have volunteered off and on with teen DD's girl scout troop over the years and I'd say about a third to half the girls in middle school were going in a shallow brands-focused looks-focused boys-focused direction and I'm pretty sure they all quit by high school. Probably not all of them were actually that shallow, but enough were insecure enough to follow the shallow ones out.

The ones who stayed are incredibly outwardly focused. They do volunteer projects all the time and genuinely talk about how to make the world a better place. Way more aware of current events than I was as a teen. But things change so much at this age, so I wouldn't write off the ones who seem shallow.


PS another parent noticed that there was a strong correlation with those who got phones early and unlimited time on tiktok/insta/YouTubeShorts and those who got sucked into shopping culture, and it seems about right.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2024 23:27     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
I have volunteered off and on with teen DD's girl scout troop over the years and I'd say about a third to half the girls in middle school were going in a shallow brands-focused looks-focused boys-focused direction and I'm pretty sure they all quit by high school. Probably not all of them were actually that shallow, but enough were insecure enough to follow the shallow ones out.

The ones who stayed are incredibly outwardly focused. They do volunteer projects all the time and genuinely talk about how to make the world a better place. Way more aware of current events than I was as a teen. But things change so much at this age, so I wouldn't write off the ones who seem shallow.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2024 22:11     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Anonymous wrote:Is it normal for teens to be very shallow? My kids basically just care about 1. how they look 2. working out and eating right 3. their friends and fun activities which to them is mostly shopping and listening to music, theme parks, outings with friends, sports. They both do very well in school but they see it as a job that needs to be done. They are not at all interested in schoolwork. How long does this last if it is normal? They are nearly 17.


It’s COMMON.

Common is different than normal.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2024 20:24     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m so glad that my teens go to a public high school that most of DCUM would never consider. There is sooo much less consumerism, and the student body seems concerned about social issues and current events. Many of the students are actively planning for life after high school and working to save for college while their peers at “better” schools are checked out while Mommy and Daddy write their applications to elite schools.


I’m a NP. 56% farms rate at my kids’ school and definitely not as much consumerism as I hear goes on at other schools. Fewer kids get cars, fewer families who can do a lot of fancy vacations.

What’s your Farms rate? Because ours is almost 50% and there is still tons of shallow consumerism.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2024 20:08     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Anonymous wrote:I’m so glad that my teens go to a public high school that most of DCUM would never consider. There is sooo much less consumerism, and the student body seems concerned about social issues and current events. Many of the students are actively planning for life after high school and working to save for college while their peers at “better” schools are checked out while Mommy and Daddy write their applications to elite schools.


I am op and we don’t live in a wealthy area, and we do public school. My kids could not get into an Ivy, they are good students but not that level. Most where we are do state schools.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2024 20:03     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Anonymous wrote:I’m so glad that my teens go to a public high school that most of DCUM would never consider. There is sooo much less consumerism, and the student body seems concerned about social issues and current events. Many of the students are actively planning for life after high school and working to save for college while their peers at “better” schools are checked out while Mommy and Daddy write their applications to elite schools.


What’s your Farms rate? Because ours is almost 50% and there is still tons of shallow consumerism.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2024 19:50     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
I’m so glad that my teens go to a public high school that most of DCUM would never consider. There is sooo much less consumerism, and the student body seems concerned about social issues and current events. Many of the students are actively planning for life after high school and working to save for college while their peers at “better” schools are checked out while Mommy and Daddy write their applications to elite schools.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2024 19:40     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you make them clean the house, run regular chores, work to get a brand name T-shirt, help with yard work, etc. OR have you just doled out cash, and paid outside workers to mow the grass and clean the house? If everything’s been given to them, then there’s no grit or yearning to earn.


I clean my house and mow my yard and do my own gardening, dh does electrical and plumbing. DS pressure washes the driveway sometimes and they both sporadically help with chores. They are very good about helping with pet care. They also both work.


NP and if you're the OP honestly your kids sound fine. They do good at school, have jobs, eat healthy and are to some degree physically active. I really don't think most or even many teens are into world events and culture and all that. This will blow your mind but most adults aren't either. I think your expectations for your kids are unrealistic.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2024 19:38     Subject: Shallow, vapid teens
Try putting these on your dinner table. Some are cheesy, but some have printed interesting conversations. https://a.co/d/0CPyKhB