Friend’s DD was unhappy and transferred from Cornell to Swarthmore. Was much happier at Swat and currently doing PhD at top program.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My thought is that generalizations like this aren’t accurate but that the piece is helpful in that it demonstrates that fit is everything.

My child is at an Ivy and is thriving in ways I could not have imagined. So it does happen. But it’s also true that some kids aren’t as happy there. We looked at LACs and realized most of them were too small to have the academic speciality my kid really wanted. And another friend’s child recently transferred out of a top 30 LAC to a very big school in a bustling city.

As is true at almost any school your mileage may (really) vary.

Agree- my dd landed at an Ivy that truly is a wonderful fit for her, and highly collaborative. But there were only 2 Ivies she considered , the others - as fine an education as they may offer - were not the environment she wanted. I could have imagined her being happy at a good number of schools including ones with less obvious prestige. By same token a neighbor of ours went to one of the tippy top SLACs hoping for a nurturing environment and found it insanely competitive - go figure. It’s not Ivy vs SLAC, it’s goodness of fit

That’s wonderful about your daughter. Do you mind sharing the names of the two Ivies and the SLAC?

Sure. She is at Yale, also loved Brown. Neighbor’s kid went to Williams.

How are the selective clubs?

Oh that’s a big topic. Definitely a lot of competition for some of the clubs. Much has been written about this phenomenon at some colleges. When my DD got there, she just decided to apply for/try out for a ton of things figuring she wouldn’t get most of them (accurate), but she would get a few (also accurate) and it would all work out. Some people get upset about it, but it makes sense to me. As an example, my DD and a friend of hers were both state debate champions in their particular division, neither of them made Yale debate team. But you know how many kids trying out for those spots state debate champions? Probably all of them! You can’t have a student run debate team with 300 kids. It would be chaos. And these kids all want to do so many things! so the key at these schools with the competitive clubs is just to keep an open mind and give lots of things a try. Also, while some of the clubs are competitive to get into plenty are open to all. My DD approach has been to have a balance in her activities of both selective and open.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My thought is that generalizations like this aren’t accurate but that the piece is helpful in that it demonstrates that fit is everything.

My child is at an Ivy and is thriving in ways I could not have imagined. So it does happen. But it’s also true that some kids aren’t as happy there. We looked at LACs and realized most of them were too small to have the academic speciality my kid really wanted. And another friend’s child recently transferred out of a top 30 LAC to a very big school in a bustling city.

As is true at almost any school your mileage may (really) vary.

Agree- my dd landed at an Ivy that truly is a wonderful fit for her, and highly collaborative. But there were only 2 Ivies she considered , the others - as fine an education as they may offer - were not the environment she wanted. I could have imagined her being happy at a good number of schools including ones with less obvious prestige. By same token a neighbor of ours went to one of the tippy top SLACs hoping for a nurturing environment and found it insanely competitive - go figure. It’s not Ivy vs SLAC, it’s goodness of fit

That’s wonderful about your daughter. Do you mind sharing the names of the two Ivies and the SLAC?

Sure. She is at Yale, also loved Brown. Neighbor’s kid went to Williams.

How are the selective clubs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My thought is that generalizations like this aren’t accurate but that the piece is helpful in that it demonstrates that fit is everything.

My child is at an Ivy and is thriving in ways I could not have imagined. So it does happen. But it’s also true that some kids aren’t as happy there. We looked at LACs and realized most of them were too small to have the academic speciality my kid really wanted. And another friend’s child recently transferred out of a top 30 LAC to a very big school in a bustling city.

As is true at almost any school your mileage may (really) vary.

Agree- my dd landed at an Ivy that truly is a wonderful fit for her, and highly collaborative. But there were only 2 Ivies she considered , the others - as fine an education as they may offer - were not the environment she wanted. I could have imagined her being happy at a good number of schools including ones with less obvious prestige. By same token a neighbor of ours went to one of the tippy top SLACs hoping for a nurturing environment and found it insanely competitive - go figure. It’s not Ivy vs SLAC, it’s goodness of fit

That’s wonderful about your daughter. Do you mind sharing the names of the two Ivies and the SLAC?

Sure. She is at Yale, also loved Brown. Neighbor’s kid went to Williams.

I went to Princeton, and felt like a nobody. Want to write for the newspaper? You weren't editor-in-chief of your high school newspaper? Forget it. You want to take a fiction class? You didn't win national awards? Think again. Sports? Everyone was recruited. I wish, wish, wish I had been brave enough to transfer. But I felt like I got into this g-d school, so I'll graduate, albeit with much less confidence and significant self-loathing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My thought is that generalizations like this aren’t accurate but that the piece is helpful in that it demonstrates that fit is everything.

My child is at an Ivy and is thriving in ways I could not have imagined. So it does happen. But it’s also true that some kids aren’t as happy there. We looked at LACs and realized most of them were too small to have the academic speciality my kid really wanted. And another friend’s child recently transferred out of a top 30 LAC to a very big school in a bustling city.

As is true at almost any school your mileage may (really) vary.

Agree- my dd landed at an Ivy that truly is a wonderful fit for her, and highly collaborative. But there were only 2 Ivies she considered , the others - as fine an education as they may offer - were not the environment she wanted. I could have imagined her being happy at a good number of schools including ones with less obvious prestige. By same token a neighbor of ours went to one of the tippy top SLACs hoping for a nurturing environment and found it insanely competitive - go figure. It’s not Ivy vs SLAC, it’s goodness of fit

Williams and Amherst, and maybe Swarthmore, are cut from the same cloth, but something like Wesleyan or Davidson are totally different.

OP, I'm in total agreement with you. Sadly, I think the majority of people here on this board are just way too obsessed with the Ivies and perceived prestige that they will not hear (want to hear) this message.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My thought is that generalizations like this aren’t accurate but that the piece is helpful in that it demonstrates that fit is everything.

My child is at an Ivy and is thriving in ways I could not have imagined. So it does happen. But it’s also true that some kids aren’t as happy there. We looked at LACs and realized most of them were too small to have the academic speciality my kid really wanted. And another friend’s child recently transferred out of a top 30 LAC to a very big school in a bustling city.

As is true at almost any school your mileage may (really) vary.

Agree- my dd landed at an Ivy that truly is a wonderful fit for her, and highly collaborative. But there were only 2 Ivies she considered , the others - as fine an education as they may offer - were not the environment she wanted. I could have imagined her being happy at a good number of schools including ones with less obvious prestige. By same token a neighbor of ours went to one of the tippy top SLACs hoping for a nurturing environment and found it insanely competitive - go figure. It’s not Ivy vs SLAC, it’s goodness of fit

That’s wonderful about your daughter. Do you mind sharing the names of the two Ivies and the SLAC?

The OP is just reposting a comfort food post for people looking for reassurance at this time of the year that getting turned down by an Ivy or even a more competitive SLAC may be a blessing in disguise.

If people had a bit more confidence in themselves or in their kids, it would be unnecessary, but some don’t so fine to share the comfort food right on schedule.

Anonymous wrote:My thought is that generalizations like this aren’t accurate but that the piece is helpful in that it demonstrates that fit is everything.

My child is at an Ivy and is thriving in ways I could not have imagined. So it does happen. But it’s also true that some kids aren’t as happy there. We looked at LACs and realized most of them were too small to have the academic speciality my kid really wanted. And another friend’s child recently transferred out of a top 30 LAC to a very big school in a bustling city.

As is true at almost any school your mileage may (really) vary.

Agree- my dd landed at an Ivy that truly is a wonderful fit for her, and highly collaborative. But there were only 2 Ivies she considered , the others - as fine an education as they may offer - were not the environment she wanted. I could have imagined her being happy at a good number of schools including ones with less obvious prestige. By same token a neighbor of ours went to one of the tippy top SLACs hoping for a nurturing environment and found it insanely competitive - go figure. It’s not Ivy vs SLAC, it’s goodness of fit

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A worldview where 99.9% of people must always be "losers" is pathetic.

The Ivies have a 99% graduation rate. The OP really is the exception to the rule

This student will not show in graduation rate calculation from my understanding. It will be on the transfer rate.

While this may not be every Ivy. It does sound like the experience a lot of people have at a lot of IVYs. Penn and Columbia for sure have incredibly competitive club applications, and are very Finance/Consulting heavy with people looking down on those who pick alternative (lower paying) tracks.

The post is food for thought. Important to consider if you'll thrive in that environment before attending.

Anonymous wrote:A worldview where 99.9% of people must always be "losers" is pathetic.

The Ivies have a 99% graduation rate. The OP really is the exception to the rule

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the kid. If your kid is smart and curious, but not hyper-competitive and super confident, a SLAC can be a great place to explore their interests, and develop deep connections with professors and great friendships, which will boost their confidence and help them blossom. On the other hand, if you’ve got a really smart, competitive, confident kid that is convinced FANG, IB, MC is their future, head to the Ivy.

You needed to add if you have a really smart, competitive, and confident kid who also is attractive and has strong social skills and/or has family friend/family connections. What the young woman is finding out is that connections in life matter. So many students at Ivys have those connections before they even start at an Ivy, so if you don’t a SLAC might be a better option.

What a refreshing read. Reminds me of my own experience at a SLAC long, long ago.