Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids don't have cars. If they use my car to run errands for the family or their health Dh and I pay for gas. If they want to borrow the car to do something with friends they know to fill back up the tank before they bring the car home (or, if it's not safe, by 9am the following morning).

We will buy them two pairs of shoes each year, but spend no more than $75 on each pair. If they want more expensive shoes they have to toss money in the pot.

If they go on a fun outing with the family, we pay. If they are going out with friends they pay.

OP here and he doesn't have a car per se. I wah so he and dd take the car to school, sports...It's my car I don't drive bc I am working with no commute. I don't mind paying for gas. My issue is how ungrateful he was. It all started so stupidly: he said there was no more protein powder. I tell him just tell me which and I will buy it. He goes "well I usually pay for my own food." It's ridiculous because I obviously buy groceries for the family, I just don't know which powder he wants. So basically he just wanted to get in a dig about how he pays for food out with friends. Then I say I pay for a lot and I would have paid for the powder. He goes "well yeah, all parents buy food for their family, it's normal." As if I were saying otherwise!! I am just beside myself at how bratty he was.

This would have pissed me off and I would have told him he can buy his own protein powder. But later we would have talked about what sort of relationship he wanted with me and how he treats me has an impact.

I give my youngest $100 a month. She uses it for clothes (her choice because I would buy her clothes), nails, and going out with friends. If she’s had a month when she went out a lot or got nails she’ll ask me for money on occasion but most likely she’ll decline invites or go and not eat. Also her choice because I’d give her money. I don’t discourage that because it’s good to learn to manage money. When we go out together, I always treat even if she offers.

I will also pay for car insurance and gas for her for awhile as I did with her older siblings. But I won’t buy her a car. I also pay for higher education but there’s a budget.

OP I think you are doing well with teaching your kids about money. I also think all kids sometimes say stupid and thoughtless things. I’d address it but I wouldn’t let it bother me too much unless it was all the time. If it was all the time I’d be reducing the extras I give.

My kid spend about 1k per month on credit card. Mainly for gas and snacks . Food after school with friends and on weekend. Occasional Ubers when they don’t have access to the car. Occasional movies. But it adds up quickly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 seniors.

They have a savings account that has money from all their summer earnings + birthday money from grandparents over the years. Currently they have about 15k in those accounts. That is for college fun money (we are paying

They have been getting a weekly allowance for years and that goes into a separate Greenlight account for daily fun money. We pay for car expenses including gas. Plus clothes. They pay for their entertainment, stuff for significant others, etc. We will give money for team dinners, when he gets take out if we are not cooking, etc. Well, they pay and we reimburse.

So if you had to give a rough estimate, how much do you spend on each of them per month total?

Allowance is $18/week ($72/month) + $50ish over the course of the month (that is basically one take out meal/week for when there is a hectic night of sports/our work schedule or some other random thing.) This doesn't count gas ($40/week) but that is almost exclusively to go to school/sports practice/run errands for us. If they were driving more for fun, they would be picking up the cost of gas.

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 seniors.

They have a savings account that has money from all their summer earnings + birthday money from grandparents over the years. Currently they have about 15k in those accounts. That is for college fun money (we are paying

They have been getting a weekly allowance for years and that goes into a separate Greenlight account for daily fun money. We pay for car expenses including gas. Plus clothes. They pay for their entertainment, stuff for significant others, etc. We will give money for team dinners, when he gets take out if we are not cooking, etc. Well, they pay and we reimburse.

So if you had to give a rough estimate, how much do you spend on each of them per month total?

Anonymous wrote:Does your teen pay for some clothes and outings with friends? My ds (17) said all of his friends get everything paid for by parents. He's the only one who pays "most of the time". He has a job but has not worked in past two weeks. I pay for all his gas, movie tickets, sometimes outings if it is a celebratory team meal, but he does pay for extra trips to random fast food places and activities.

This is very much how it works in our house as well. I pay for some things (e.g., gas, most clothing, shoes, some activities), they pay for others.

I've gotten the same, "but my friends..." which I ignore and continue to do what *I* feel is appropriate for our household.

I have 2 seniors.

They have a savings account that has money from all their summer earnings + birthday money from grandparents over the years. Currently they have about 15k in those accounts. That is for college fun money (we are paying

They have been getting a weekly allowance for years and that goes into a separate Greenlight account for daily fun money. We pay for car expenses including gas. Plus clothes. They pay for their entertainment, stuff for significant others, etc. We will give money for team dinners, when he gets take out if we are not cooking, etc. Well, they pay and we reimburse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay for everything for our teens. It used to be allowance when they were younger but now we just give them money. They help out around the house when asked but $ isn't tied to anything in particular.

We're down to only one kid at home (16) and it works for us.

How do you give money though, logistically and what limits?

They have a credit card on our account and apple pay. They ask for cash when they need it (rarely). Honestly, no limits but they don't spend a lot. I think their credit card may have a $300 limit but they never even come close unless they're buying something big which we know about-these are more the ones in college. HS kid has very few charges.

$300 per month is a LOT for most families. However, you say they don't come close.

My teens spend practically nothing because they hardly ever go out with their friends. We look jointly at what new clothes or gear they might need or want, then I pay, because it's all online. My son pays for a few video games with my credit card. Ditto when my daughter buys a few trinkets.

OP, I don't quite understand why you're making such a fuss. Yes, teens pay for themselves when they go out, but "pay for themselves" often means with parental money. Your kid has a job. Yes, teens like to talk back. Sometimes it's in the tone, not the words. You have to pick your battles and make the rules that work for you. Your kid really isn't that bratty or out of line. if you want to shut him up, tell him that your household budget doesn't allow for too many frivolous expenses, and his friends probably have richer parents. Also be upfront with him about your ability to pay for college. Start a conversation now about costs. Teens need to understand how exorbitant they are these days!

His tone was terrible and passive aggressive. My issue is we really do try to be mindful and kind and he starts this fight with me, not understanding that he likely does get as much money bc of the allowance. He just hates spending « his money » but then how will he learn if he can spend ours without thinking as much? He knows we are paying for college, in state probably. I don’t want to go down the richer poorer road bc I don’t think it always necessarily is what impacts how people treat this. I want a balance of him having fun but no entitlement or resentment and it is clearly not working.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay for everything for our teens. It used to be allowance when they were younger but now we just give them money. They help out around the house when asked but $ isn't tied to anything in particular.

We're down to only one kid at home (16) and it works for us.

How do you give money though, logistically and what limits?

They have a credit card on our account and apple pay. They ask for cash when they need it (rarely). Honestly, no limits but they don't spend a lot. I think their credit card may have a $300 limit but they never even come close unless they're buying something big which we know about-these are more the ones in college. HS kid has very few charges.

$300 per month is a LOT for most families. However, you say they don't come close.

My teens spend practically nothing because they hardly ever go out with their friends. We look jointly at what new clothes or gear they might need or want, then I pay, because it's all online. My son pays for a few video games with my credit card. Ditto when my daughter buys a few trinkets.

OP, I don't quite understand why you're making such a fuss. Yes, teens pay for themselves when they go out, but "pay for themselves" often means with parental money. Your kid has a job. Yes, teens like to talk back. Sometimes it's in the tone, not the words. You have to pick your battles and make the rules that work for you. Your kid really isn't that bratty or out of line. if you want to shut him up, tell him that your household budget doesn't allow for too many frivolous expenses, and his friends probably have richer parents. Also be upfront with him about your ability to pay for college. Start a conversation now about costs. Teens need to understand how exorbitant they are these days!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay for everything for our teens. It used to be allowance when they were younger but now we just give them money. They help out around the house when asked but $ isn't tied to anything in particular.

We're down to only one kid at home (16) and it works for us.

How do you give money though, logistically and what limits?

They have a credit card on our account and apple pay. They ask for cash when they need it (rarely). Honestly, no limits but they don't spend a lot. I think their credit card may have a $300 limit but they never even come close unless they're buying something big which we know about-these are more the ones in college. HS kid has very few charges.

What’s not a lot and what is your hhi? Idk that I would feel comfortable with that tbh, they like clothes.

I honestly don't pay attention. Maybe $100? or less a month. We really don't track it very closely. They've never gone crazy spending. Might not work for everyone but it works for us.