Anonymous wrote:Help-I have two DC in college and whenever things don't work out well (bad course registration time, room draw disappointments, lack of social plans, not getting an internship etc) I let it really get to me and drag me down. I know this is my issue and these are the ups and downs of life but curious if anyone can relate and how you calm yourself down and not get sucked into feeling so badly.

I did my job. It’s their problem now.

The sooner you get into this mindset, the better.

Parenting young adults is so much harder than any other stage.

Barring some freak catastrophe or the onset of the kind of mental illness that emerges during late adolescence, the OP's kids are experiencing the run-of-the-mill, momentary setbacks common to everyone but that do not ultimately hold anyone or their families back from living a full life. So maybe the OP should be grateful she isn't stuck with offspring who chronologically are young adults but who will need indefinite 24/7 supervisory care and who also, to add insult to injury, don't or can't appreciate the sacrifices that everyone else in the family has had and will continue to make to accommodate their endless needs.

I try not to get upset more than my college student. Then brainstorm if there is anything to do about it, or any good parts. For example, my child got a bad freshman dorm assignment in a dorm that was to be torn down (but saved for another year) and was a long way (a mile?) to walk to her classes. There was nothing to do about the room assignment, but she made great friends and roommates that she has stayed with through college. I'm guilty of getting disappointed and worrying, but unless it is a safety issue, I try not to get worked up. Sometimes modeling resilience and the serenity prayer helps. In daughter's case I thought the long walk at night from campus to dorm might be unsafe, but t is a large campus, and people walk around all hours and I discussed safety measures like not walking along, using bus and other campus safety measures (what was under her control).

OP, these are all pieces of the initiation into adulthood that we have to go through. I remember standing in line at vatious counters at the university for hours. The fear at not getting what I want. The anger when things seemed to shake out unfairly. Nearly 20 years later, I know all those experiences led me here. I believe I am meant to be here. And, in the moments I don't feel that, I know it is up to me to make changes.