Pre-COVID, we asked grandparents to get the DTAP boosters and wash hands. If they were sick, I would have been comfortable asking them to wait until they were better to see the baby.

I have realized I really take for granted my peace of mind. It’s clear others don’t have it and it’s pretty tragic.

OP, you’re going to be going to the doctor for checkups with sick kids in the waiting room 3 times the first two weeks. You’re going to be traveling on roads with drivers who shouldn’t be driving. You’re going to come into contact with people who will not divulge their travel history just because you have a baby. Your MIL visiting her newborn baby doesn’t even register on the harm scale.

You have completely lost any semblance of reality.

Anonymous wrote:You know your doctor or the hospital staff could have just returned from a vacation that involved a long flight. You will have been in the hospital with people who were sick. Your baby has so many ways to get sick outside of any potential illness your in laws might transmit. Signaling them out definitely shows your disdain for them.

This. I work at a hospital. It's one of the germiest places you can be. There's no logic to singling out MIL, as this poster points out. If you don't want her to visit so soon for other reasons, that's fine, but your current reasoning doesn't hold up.

My mom got picked up at the airport by my uncle after a 14 hour travel day, with two flights and a layover, and arrived to the hospital to hold my newborn baby. I would have treated my MIL the same, but she lives down the street. This was in 2022 for the record.

She did have a flu shot and was up to date on covid boosters.

You need to calm down OP.

No, a 5-day quarantine is NOT reasonable. Are you making all the hospital quarantine before they touch your baby?

Op it is natural to be protective. You are also building a family. Maybe a good question to ask is how you would feel if this were your mom coming on the flight and make sure you would have a similar standard.

Outside of that I think vaccination and handwashing are the most important for any visitor.

If your MIL is coming from a place with an endemic disease like Dengue we don’t have here that is a different thing, but I am assuming you would have mentioned that.

Congratulations on your upcoming birth.

Anonymous wrote:We are expecting and MIL hopes to meet the baby soon after birth (she would NOT stay at our house). She unfortunately lives a 5-hour flight away, and I'm very concerned about her unknowingly catching something on the long travel day over and baby catching it. For anyone with parents similar distance, how did/would you handle? Is saying she can come but only see baby after a 5-day quarantine reasonable?

You are beyond crazy.

My mil met my oldest the day he was born, but I actually like her.

Anonymous wrote:A mask, updated vaccines, and washing her hands and changing her shirt when she came in would be the outer limits of what I think you can ask.

This. Let her know about the vaccines now, so she has time to get updated.

You know your doctor or the hospital staff could have just returned from a vacation that involved a long flight. You will have been in the hospital with people who were sick. Your baby has so many ways to get sick outside of any potential illness your in laws might transmit. Signaling them out definitely shows your disdain for them.

Anonymous wrote:Think if you also had a 3 year old going to pre school etc and a 5 year old in kindergarten.

It's not at all the same as having other kids. Presumably MIL doesn't work at a daycare.

OP, you are being really crazy on this one. You ask her to wear a mask and wash her hands. Simple.

Anonymous wrote:Think if you also had a 3 year old going to pre school etc and a 5 year old in kindergarten.

But I don’t. I understand that that’s life if you have other kids, but why add the risk if you don’t?

Think if you also had a 3 year old going to pre school etc and a 5 year old in kindergarten.

Ask your pediatrician and see what they advise. It also depends on when baby is born. Peak flu/RSV use more precaution.

For those saying no big deal- yo probably haven't seen a child readmitted to the hospital or struggling to breathe with rsv. Consider yourselves lucky

At the end of the day. Your child. your rules. Do what you're comfortable with and make decisions you won't regret.

2-4 weeks seems reasonable. Heck if you want to make everyone wait until 8 week vaccines do it. Nobody needs to see/hold/bind with a child under 8 weeks besides mom and dad. If you decide to breastfeed skin to skin with you is the most important and frequent latching in the first two weeks. When that's not happening bonding with dad. It leaves very very little room for others to be holding the baby and "bonding"

Anonymous wrote:Oh good lord…unless your baby is a micro preemie, please remember that second and third and fourth children exist, with germs older siblings in school. Quarantine in 2024 is ridiculous.

Yes but her baby is a singleton and doesn't have siblings. I hate this argument. Let her shelter the newborn while she can