Anonymous
Post 03/30/2024 12:16     Subject: School successfully dealt w/ bully?
For kids over 12, primary responsibility lies with the person who pays for the phone, the kids and last the school.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2024 12:01     Subject: Re:School successfully dealt w/ bully?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My teen son was bullied for a part of the year, he complaint to the School's SRO but not much was done since he didn't have "physical proof".

Once things escalated to cyberbullying, he was able to screenshot the hate messages but still much wasn't done as his proof "didn't happen on school hours or school grounds".

I was letting him handle it but seeing nothing was done, I reported it. Our school district has a Bullying reporting online form where any reporting goes to the "headquarters" and then sent to the school's principal for investigation. I was immediately contacted by our school principal and SRO and the bullies were served with Behavior/no contact contracts for the remaining of the school year. Not sure how successful it is as my DS still very traumatized and watches his back all the time but at least they are not bothering him anymore.


Was this MCPS? This was my daughters experience as well. Bullies had more rights. No proof, not on school grounds, we will talk etc…

It was terrible


Not on school grounds seems reasonable to me.


It does not to me. These relationships are because of school and the consequences play out in school. Fortunately our MCPS HS did not take that approach.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2024 11:51     Subject: School successfully dealt w/ bully?
If you're in MCPS, you need to file a bully report and then once completed send it to the principal. It stays in the bully's school record. In our case, the kid and their parents were warned to stay away from my kid, and the bully was not allowed to be in any area my kid was in, including cafeteria for lunch, and they moved the bully out of my kids current class. I also requested the bully is never to be in my child's future classes. Reason for all the documentation besides trying to get the bullying to stop, is to use it later for actual repercussions when the bully tries to get into their dream school/job.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2024 10:02     Subject: School successfully dealt w/ bully?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:i've posted before on threads like this, and I sound crazy, but the only thing that worked for our DS was to go nuclear.

And attack the bully (verbally) with insults to brutal and so specific that the bully was unable to respond.

I've mentioned on other posts, but it involved looking up court records of the bully's parents and revealing family information that the bully didn't know about.

It was 100% the last resort, but it had to be done.

We also put our son into wrestling at age 12 and now by at 16, nobody would dare bully him.

But at the time in 7th grade, we had to wreck that bully's life. And it worked.


It sucks to have to do this but makes sense. A bully has to be challenged in a significant way to back down.


Yup, lame comebacks/avoiding/tattling just wont' ever get it to end.

And the idea that so many people have on this forum to just "find a new school" is a lesson I will never teach my kid. They have a right to walk through this doors. And running away is not something we do.

Follow the right steps. Teacher/ guidance counselor/ principal / admin. But then. If nothing changes. Then its time to bury that bully


+100000
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2024 18:43     Subject: Re:School successfully dealt w/ bully?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My teen son was bullied for a part of the year, he complaint to the School's SRO but not much was done since he didn't have "physical proof".

Once things escalated to cyberbullying, he was able to screenshot the hate messages but still much wasn't done as his proof "didn't happen on school hours or school grounds".

I was letting him handle it but seeing nothing was done, I reported it. Our school district has a Bullying reporting online form where any reporting goes to the "headquarters" and then sent to the school's principal for investigation. I was immediately contacted by our school principal and SRO and the bullies were served with Behavior/no contact contracts for the remaining of the school year. Not sure how successful it is as my DS still very traumatized and watches his back all the time but at least they are not bothering him anymore.


Was this MCPS? This was my daughters experience as well. Bullies had more rights. No proof, not on school grounds, we will talk etc…

It was terrible


Not on school grounds seems reasonable to me.


If they need proof and the only proof you can get is online or social media, then don’t blow it off. What school does this?
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2024 18:37     Subject: Re:School successfully dealt w/ bully?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My teen son was bullied for a part of the year, he complaint to the School's SRO but not much was done since he didn't have "physical proof".

Once things escalated to cyberbullying, he was able to screenshot the hate messages but still much wasn't done as his proof "didn't happen on school hours or school grounds".

I was letting him handle it but seeing nothing was done, I reported it. Our school district has a Bullying reporting online form where any reporting goes to the "headquarters" and then sent to the school's principal for investigation. I was immediately contacted by our school principal and SRO and the bullies were served with Behavior/no contact contracts for the remaining of the school year. Not sure how successful it is as my DS still very traumatized and watches his back all the time but at least they are not bothering him anymore.


Was this MCPS? This was my daughters experience as well. Bullies had more rights. No proof, not on school grounds, we will talk etc…

It was terrible


Not on school grounds seems reasonable to me.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2024 17:28     Subject: Re:School successfully dealt w/ bully?
Anonymous wrote:My teen son was bullied for a part of the year, he complaint to the School's SRO but not much was done since he didn't have "physical proof".

Once things escalated to cyberbullying, he was able to screenshot the hate messages but still much wasn't done as his proof "didn't happen on school hours or school grounds".

I was letting him handle it but seeing nothing was done, I reported it. Our school district has a Bullying reporting online form where any reporting goes to the "headquarters" and then sent to the school's principal for investigation. I was immediately contacted by our school principal and SRO and the bullies were served with Behavior/no contact contracts for the remaining of the school year. Not sure how successful it is as my DS still very traumatized and watches his back all the time but at least they are not bothering him anymore.


Was this MCPS? This was my daughters experience as well. Bullies had more rights. No proof, not on school grounds, we will talk etc…

It was terrible
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2024 13:02     Subject: Re:School successfully dealt w/ bully?
My teen son was bullied for a part of the year, he complaint to the School's SRO but not much was done since he didn't have "physical proof".

Once things escalated to cyberbullying, he was able to screenshot the hate messages but still much wasn't done as his proof "didn't happen on school hours or school grounds".

I was letting him handle it but seeing nothing was done, I reported it. Our school district has a Bullying reporting online form where any reporting goes to the "headquarters" and then sent to the school's principal for investigation. I was immediately contacted by our school principal and SRO and the bullies were served with Behavior/no contact contracts for the remaining of the school year. Not sure how successful it is as my DS still very traumatized and watches his back all the time but at least they are not bothering him anymore.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2024 12:31     Subject: School successfully dealt w/ bully?
Honestly, I’m about 99% certain the middle school principal yelled at and threatened the little sh!ts. He pulled them off the bus, read them for filth right there on the sidewalk (DD was still on the bus and just saw waving hands, a red face, and a couple 6th graders crapping their pants), and called me after to tell me he was taking it seriously. DD heard through the grapevine that they all got referrals and a warning that even one more incident would be a suspension. They have kept their distance (so far).
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2024 11:23     Subject: School successfully dealt w/ bully?
And it is very true that the victims are the ones that need to get COSA in MCPS. Administration never ever ever ever forced the bullies or assaulters to another school. My best friend’s son had to move schools from Julius West. They were terrible with handling the situation. Brutal emotional and physical attacks and the kid still goes there and her son had to up and move. How traumatizing is that? MCPS is the worst.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2024 09:08     Subject: School successfully dealt w/ bully?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nope. Our only success was them giving us a COSA so my kid could leave the school. Meanwhile the bully never received even a one day suspension - even after admitting their entire write up to the principal was a complete lie. “The kid has a right to an education”

And of course since my kid got the COSA, it was deemed my kid did the wrong by all the rumors. I can tr you every kid bullied gets the COSA. I was told not until there are are juvenile charges would they consider making the accused move schools. MCPS is terrible.

MC police on the other hand were fantastic and 3 juvenile charges and a peace order were put in place. But it took months and we didn’t have time to wait to force the kid out. Mine loves their new school anyway.


What is a COSA?


Change of School Assignment

It's the MCPS process for moving a kid out of their zoned school.

Anonymous
Post 03/25/2024 23:12     Subject: School successfully dealt w/ bully?
Anonymous wrote:Nope. Our only success was them giving us a COSA so my kid could leave the school. Meanwhile the bully never received even a one day suspension - even after admitting their entire write up to the principal was a complete lie. “The kid has a right to an education”

And of course since my kid got the COSA, it was deemed my kid did the wrong by all the rumors. I can tr you every kid bullied gets the COSA. I was told not until there are are juvenile charges would they consider making the accused move schools. MCPS is terrible.

MC police on the other hand were fantastic and 3 juvenile charges and a peace order were put in place. But it took months and we didn’t have time to wait to force the kid out. Mine loves their new school anyway.


What is a COSA?
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2024 21:38     Subject: School successfully dealt w/ bully?
Talking to the assistant head of upper school worked for us. We gave them detailed incidents, including digital examples. I made it clear that the bullying had to stop and that they were responsible for keeping my child physically and emotionally safe. Told them I didn't care how they handled it as long as it stopped. My son was offered to participate in the meeting with the bully but wanted nothing to do with that. It stopped.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2024 21:32     Subject: School successfully dealt w/ bully?
Nope. Our only success was them giving us a COSA so my kid could leave the school. Meanwhile the bully never received even a one day suspension - even after admitting their entire write up to the principal was a complete lie. “The kid has a right to an education”

And of course since my kid got the COSA, it was deemed my kid did the wrong by all the rumors. I can tr you every kid bullied gets the COSA. I was told not until there are are juvenile charges would they consider making the accused move schools. MCPS is terrible.

MC police on the other hand were fantastic and 3 juvenile charges and a peace order were put in place. But it took months and we didn’t have time to wait to force the kid out. Mine loves their new school anyway.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2024 19:09     Subject: School successfully dealt w/ bully?
Anonymous wrote:I've been surprised by two things IME -- at how responsive schools are when it is reported through proper official channels like the guidance department or principal and second how often teachers ignore this behavior.

For your younger DC the guidance counselor quickly talked to the kid with bullying behavior and their parents and it never happened again. I think they did that the same day.

Another DC's friend was being bullied in MS with physical intimidation like taking backpack away and pushed and as soon as it was reported to the principal and verified the bully's class schedule was completely changed to no longer have classes with the child being victimized and the bully was told they needed to not have any contact with the other child.

All the teachers saw this behavior but never did anything about it apparently.


This sounds like success.