Anonymous wrote:If you’re past your child bearing years, what’s the point if it’s so risky, as my terrible marriage has proven it to be?

Would I love a lifelong companion who elevates my life? Absolutely. But I’ve realized that is very very hard to find and it’s probably a better use of my time and higher probability of success if I invest in myself instead of a relationship that may or may not work out.

Agree. I would love a companion who makes me laugh and feel secure. Someone I respect and who respects me. But I think the odds of finding someone are very slim. Also I no longer have sexual desire and I know a man wants that and I don’t want to disappoint them. I’m better off alone.

I've been married for over 30 years, and on balance very happy. But if something happened to DH, I can't imagine marrying again. I feel like I lucked out once and the risks of ending up with a dud are just too high. I am not interested in coddling a grown man (extremely happy that DH doesn't need this or at least has been trained not to expect it lol), and at almost 60, I don't mind having sex with DH but I have zero interest in some other man's sexual needs (or aging, hairy body). I don't want to complicate my life (or my adult kids' lives) with stepchildren.

By contrast, DH and I agree that he would definitely remarry if he outlives me LOL. He would be very lonely. I feel so sure of it that I've set aside money just for our kids to inherit (with DH's agreement). That way it won't all go to the second wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have spent thirty years taking care of everyone's needs except my own. I have zero interest in taking on more.

Say it again sister! Done!

Yes! I want to be able to do whatever the heck I want.

If you’re past your child bearing years, what’s the point if it’s so risky, as my terrible marriage has proven it to be?

Would I love a lifelong companion who elevates my life? Absolutely. But I’ve realized that is very very hard to find and it’s probably a better use of my time and higher probability of success if I invest in myself instead of a relationship that may or may not work out.

Anonymous wrote:

I'm too old and set in my ways to make space for another person in my life. I don't want to do the work. Been there, done that. I would much prefer my freedom to run my life and house exactly as I please.

This. Every word.

Divorced at 46 with a 10 yr old. Made his well-being the center of my life and damn if I didn't succeed in launching a mentally strong young adult. Couldn't even think of "balancing" his interests with a parade of complete strangers that I "matched" with on an app.

Now he's launched, I'm 56, and I could date but ... why? What would be the end game for dating, given all the bolded text above?

I'm not lonely and I can buy my own supper and my own weekend trip to Asheville.

Launched? Could you not just say it normal.

I'm too old and set in my ways to make space for another person in my life. I don't want to do the work. Been there, done that. I would much prefer my freedom to run my life and house exactly as I please.

This. Every word.

Divorced at 46 with a 10 yr old. Made his well-being the center of my life and damn if I didn't succeed in launching a mentally strong young adult. Couldn't even think of "balancing" his interests with a parade of complete strangers that I "matched" with on an app.

Now he's launched, I'm 56, and I could date but ... why? What would be the end game for dating, given all the bolded text above?

I'm not lonely and I can buy my own supper and my own weekend trip to Asheville.

I won't get married again. I'm 44, have two great kids, a nice home, plenty of money and get to travel a ton. I have boyfriends and plenty of friends so my physical an emotional needs are met. I fail to see how marriage would benefit me at all. Also, I don't want an avenue for anyone to stake a claim to my estate besides my kids if I were to pass.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I likely will never remarry. For me, it's that I am cursed with heterosexuality, but find most cishet men to be entitled jerks.

I'd rather stay alone than spend another couple of decades being annoyed by a partner who doesn't share my values.

No one wants to marry you, I can assure you.

You seem very familiar with the no-one-wants-to-marry-you situation. Not surprising.

Honey, I am married, so you are very wrong. Don’t be jealous. 😘

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I am happily married but I have two close friends who are divorcing or divorced. Both are high-earning and successful, both have good relationships with their kids, both are attractive. They are chased relentlessly by men. Both have literally no interest in marriage. The men who are chasing them are obviously looking for caregivers and sugar mamas. They are entitled, demanding, and whiny. The men bring very little to the table. I’ve seen the texts from these men, and it’s just crazy how entitled they are.

Maybe they should stop dating these type of men.

Oh they aren’t dating these men. They are just getting chased by them. The texts are unasked for. They certainly aren’t dating them. “Thanks, but I’m not interested” doesn’t stop a barrage of whiny, entitled, demanding messages.

And yet "these men" have their phone number? Mmmm hmmm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I am happily married but I have two close friends who are divorcing or divorced. Both are high-earning and successful, both have good relationships with their kids, both are attractive. They are chased relentlessly by men. Both have literally no interest in marriage. The men who are chasing them are obviously looking for caregivers and sugar mamas. They are entitled, demanding, and whiny. The men bring very little to the table. I’ve seen the texts from these men, and it’s just crazy how entitled they are.

Maybe they should stop dating these type of men.

Oh they aren’t dating these men. They are just getting chased by them. The texts are unasked for. They certainly aren’t dating them. “Thanks, but I’m not interested” doesn’t stop a barrage of whiny, entitled, demanding messages.

Only you believe that. They obviously got their numbers from your friends and your friends could easily block them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I likely will never remarry. For me, it's that I am cursed with heterosexuality, but find most cishet men to be entitled jerks.

I'd rather stay alone than spend another couple of decades being annoyed by a partner who doesn't share my values.

No one wants to marry you, I can assure you.

You seem very familiar with the no-one-wants-to-marry-you situation. Not surprising.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I am happily married but I have two close friends who are divorcing or divorced. Both are high-earning and successful, both have good relationships with their kids, both are attractive. They are chased relentlessly by men. Both have literally no interest in marriage. The men who are chasing them are obviously looking for caregivers and sugar mamas. They are entitled, demanding, and whiny. The men bring very little to the table. I’ve seen the texts from these men, and it’s just crazy how entitled they are.

Maybe they should stop dating these type of men.

Oh they aren’t dating these men. They are just getting chased by them. The texts are unasked for. They certainly aren’t dating them. “Thanks, but I’m not interested” doesn’t stop a barrage of whiny, entitled, demanding messages.

BS.

Why don’t they simply block the callers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I am happily married but I have two close friends who are divorcing or divorced. Both are high-earning and successful, both have good relationships with their kids, both are attractive. They are chased relentlessly by men. Both have literally no interest in marriage. The men who are chasing them are obviously looking for caregivers and sugar mamas. They are entitled, demanding, and whiny. The men bring very little to the table. I’ve seen the texts from these men, and it’s just crazy how entitled they are.

Maybe they should stop dating these type of men.

Oh they aren’t dating these men. They are just getting chased by them. The texts are unasked for. They certainly aren’t dating them. “Thanks, but I’m not interested” doesn’t stop a barrage of whiny, entitled, demanding messages.

Anonymous wrote:NP. I am happily married but I have two close friends who are divorcing or divorced. Both are high-earning and successful, both have good relationships with their kids, both are attractive. They are chased relentlessly by men. Both have literally no interest in marriage. The men who are chasing them are obviously looking for caregivers and sugar mamas. They are entitled, demanding, and whiny. The men bring very little to the table. I’ve seen the texts from these men, and it’s just crazy how entitled they are.

Maybe they should stop dating these type of men.