Anonymous wrote:Op here. I put him in a pull-up and had him take a nap. When he woke up, I couldn't find the pull-up, and he peed in his bed. Later we found it under his bed. I can't w/ this kid anymore. Pulls up for sleep time are typical. It's not typical for me to remove them and pee in the bed.

It sounds like he is not truly potty trained and you need to go back to basics.

Consult with Sally Neuberger and talk with your ped.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think my DD would ever be trained. She was 4 when her preschool teacher advised us to make her start cleaning up the mess. It was amazing how quickly things changed after that.

+1 You need using the toilet to be the easy option for him. Even if he doesn't do a great job, you need to have a stack of towels ready so he can blot it up, help you get out the rug cleaner, etc.

+2 you need to put this back on him and make him clean up his messes.

And, unfortunately, you need to supervise him and probably contained (meaning no upstairs unless it’s bedtime, block off or lock other rooms/basement). I’d treat it like I treated my puppy - access and freedom are earned with good behavior). No rugs in the rooms he’s allowed in.

op here. I think he has fun cleaning up messes. I will still have him do it but I don't think that will be enough.

Anonymous wrote:You must be so frustrated, OP! Time to get on top of this for both your sakes. Set up an appointment with the pediatrician; rule out a medical cause and get referrals to a psychologist. It is very troubling that he is able to control this at school and vacation, but not at home.

OP here. I work on the weekend, which makes it very hard because I know DH isn't watching him every second. Dh lets him watch tv while he naps. His older brother is in charge during that time, but he's only 8. DH claims he's always watching him, but I know that's not true. It's so, so frustrating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's post like this that make me grateful that I'm childfree.

I have multiple kids and never had this problem. It’s parenting. I’m sure he’s getting junk food and screen time or something else that should be taken away for an entire week every time he does it. 4 years old is NOT too young to know not to behave like an animal.

People like you are truly worst. Posting on here to shame someone and weirdly boost your own ego. Feel better about yourself? There is likely a psychological or learning issue here. Not to mention that most parents are doing the best they can. I taught preschool and think you need to rule out a medical cause (which I think is unlikely) and then seek a therapist to unravel this.

You must be so frustrated, OP! Time to get on top of this for both your sakes. Set up an appointment with the pediatrician; rule out a medical cause and get referrals to a psychologist. It is very troubling that he is able to control this at school and vacation, but not at home.

Weird. Something in your bathroom? Can he turn on the light? Maybe keep the toilet seat up and the light on. A treat (m&m) every time he uses the bathroom at home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think my DD would ever be trained. She was 4 when her preschool teacher advised us to make her start cleaning up the mess. It was amazing how quickly things changed after that.

+1 You need using the toilet to be the easy option for him. Even if he doesn't do a great job, you need to have a stack of towels ready so he can blot it up, help you get out the rug cleaner, etc.

+2 you need to put this back on him and make him clean up his messes.

And, unfortunately, you need to supervise him and probably contained (meaning no upstairs unless it’s bedtime, block off or lock other rooms/basement). I’d treat it like I treated my puppy - access and freedom are earned with good behavior). No rugs in the rooms he’s allowed in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's post like this that make me grateful that I'm childfree.

I have multiple kids and never had this problem. It’s parenting. I’m sure he’s getting junk food and screen time or something else that should be taken away for an entire week every time he does it. 4 years old is NOT too young to know not to behave like an animal.

OP here. No. He's in school FT but nice try. As a parent of multiple kids you one would think you would be more empathetic.

Op here. I put him in a pull-up and had him take a nap. When he woke up, I couldn't find the pull-up, and he peed in his bed. Later we found it under his bed. I can't w/ this kid anymore. Pulls up for sleep time are typical. It's not typical for me to remove them and pee in the bed.

Anonymous wrote:It's post like this that make me grateful that I'm childfree.

I have multiple kids and never had this problem. It’s parenting. I’m sure he’s getting junk food and screen time or something else that should be taken away for an entire week every time he does it. 4 years old is NOT too young to know not to behave like an animal.

I am generally a very kind parent but I would have it the fear of God in this child at the first time.

I had something similar happen when my oldest was around 3. He was sent to timeout using 1-2-3 (this was a while ago when everyone seemed to use it). He revenge peed on his bed. I think that is one of the less than a handful of times he could see I was really, truly angry and upset with him. I made him clean it up thoroughly. He took me seriously and never did anything remotely like that again.

Also second letting him pee outside if appropriate in your neighborhood. We are remote so it is fine here, sometimes the novelty of peeing in a new place appeals to them. Who knows why?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Supervise him better, have him got to the toilet every hour, give consequences. Also take him to a urologist to rule out anything medical.

All of this. I might even set 30 minute timers for bathroom visits.

Do not trade one problem for another by getting him to go outside.

OP here. We are trying our best, but he's so fast. In less than a minute, he ran upstairs and peed. I ran after him and saw him pulling his pants up. If I was a second late I wouldn't have known. Unless I handcuff him to me or put him in a cage I can't supervise him every single minute. I need to use the bathroom myself or take a shower. On reddit most of the parents say stuff like, "Kids do weird sh**" they are impulsive and when an idea pops in their head they are impulsive.

Kids don't do stuff like this except for a good reason. You need to tell him until the behavior stops, he will always be in a room with you and Dad and put up hard to open baby gates and lock off rooms he shouldn't be in like yours.

Get him a full medical evaluation, take him to the bathroom every hour (or more frequently), give a time out or loss of privilege like electronics each and every time and get a carpet cleaning machine and make him help clean it up.

Yes. OP, if you've ever potty-trained a dog, this is the same thing. People leash the puppy inside and bring it with them everywhere in the house, so that at the slightest sign of wanting to go, they run out of the house and the puppy pees outside and starts understanding that outside is it happens. Your kid is smart but impulsive, so it shouldn't take weeks, maybe just one weekend day of being forced to follow you everywhere you go and reminded every hour that he needs to pee INSIDE the bloody toilet bowl!!! It won't be fun for him, so he'll start to get it. Also he has to help scrub his carpet spots and made to smell how awful they are: "You've been scrubbing a long time now. Did the smell go away?"

Anonymous wrote:It's post like this that make me grateful that I'm childfree.

Really?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Supervise him better, have him got to the toilet every hour, give consequences. Also take him to a urologist to rule out anything medical.

All of this. I might even set 30 minute timers for bathroom visits.

Do not trade one problem for another by getting him to go outside.

OP here. We are trying our best, but he's so fast. In less than a minute, he ran upstairs and peed. I ran after him and saw him pulling his pants up. If I was a second late I wouldn't have known. Unless I handcuff him to me or put him in a cage I can't supervise him every single minute. I need to use the bathroom myself or take a shower. On reddit most of the parents say stuff like, "Kids do weird sh**" they are impulsive and when an idea pops in their head they are impulsive.

Kids don't do stuff like this except for a good reason. You need to tell him until the behavior stops, he will always be in a room with you and Dad and put up hard to open baby gates and lock off rooms he shouldn't be in like yours.

Get him a full medical evaluation, take him to the bathroom every hour (or more frequently), give a time out or loss of privilege like electronics each and every time and get a carpet cleaning machine and make him help clean it up.