Anonymous
04/03/2024 13:34
Subject: I’m really struggling
Anonymous wrote:I am a believer and Christian, with a side of hippy “the universe will find a way”. I am generally positive, treat people with kindness, and try to be a good person. And I am blessed with a lovely family, safe home and generally I am healthy. But it just feels like everything is a struggle to the maximum degree and I’m tired and questioning why it always has to be so hard. I came from deep abuse and poverty and fought my way to this place. When can I just put it down and it will be ok? I just need something to go right. Nothing ever comes easy, every single thing is a battle, and right now it’s especially hard and honestly unfair. Part of me knows it will get better, but the other part is so, so exhausted. I’m going through a very difficult thing right now in my life (kid-related) and I’m just feeling…alone? Do you ever feel like this? If so, how do you deal? And I would be grateful for any and all prayers you can send my way as we work through this time. Thank you in advance for any advice.
So sorry OP. I hear you.
Yes definitely relate to both traumatic childhood experiences, fighting to carve out a more stable and loving home life and yet feeling overwhelmed by teenager facing many different health challenges.
I also relate to generally trying hard to be a good person and to not take blessings for granted.
For me what has helped us:
- self care of exercise and healthy diet
- making time for creative stuff I enjoy
- talking to good friends
- prayers
- keeping communication channels open with DC
- knowing I can’t fix everything so identifying good medical team members for addressing different issues
- attending a loving and supportive church. The pastoral care team has been wonderful.
So what is helping me is:
- faith in my connection to a loving God as an individual and community member,
- mixture of giving and taking,
- surrendering my desire to control stuff I can’t control, and
- caring for myself and loved ones.
Please give yourself a hug for all the progress you have made this far.
Sending you peaceful healing intentions.
Anonymous
04/03/2024 07:15
Subject: Re:I’m really struggling
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I hope whatever difficulty you are facing will pass. A few thoughts that have helped me through tough times.
First, you have to believe that God allows everything to happen for a reason, for the good of you and those around you. This is so so basic and you should ask yourself if you really believe this. I had a traumatic medical episode years ago and I was so mad at God and felt so confused and betrayed. I felt like I have done everything by the books in my life and this is how I'm rewarded. In the end though, when I put aside my anger (because the anger wasn't exactly helping), I realized that the event made me more sure of God's existence. Because the alternative, that there is no God and it's all random, meant that all my suffering and the suffering of everyone who has suffered, were meaningless. It meant that life was just a cosmic joke, with us finding joy and love only to have it all inevitably snatched away. Say what you will about wishful thinking, but I did not want to live in the second universe.
Once you get over the first hump, you have to then truly believe that God will not give you more than you can bear. It's a logical outflow of the first paragraph but is hard to internalize. It's important to note that God will help you bear your REAL burdens, not perceived ones. Many people are weighed down by the past, or worry over the future. The past is past and the future is imaginary. God doesn't help you bear your imaginary burdens. So focus on the present, on today. Take it one day at a time. Ask God each morning for the strength to do what needs to get done today. Tell God each night that you tried your best and give the rest of the burden back to him.
Third, start cultivating mindfulness. Meditate. Focus on the present and your senses. Traditional Buddhism is a great source for mindfulness practice. This will help with detachment and both paragraphs above.
Good luck!
^^^good thoughtful advice, I will pray for you too!
Except people are often given more than they can bear.
Anonymous
04/03/2024 07:14
Subject: Re:I’m really struggling
Read this book.
https://www.amazon.com/Buddhist-Boot-Camp-Timber-Hawkeye/dp/0062267434
Get therapy.
Have you read the parable…
A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.
"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."
"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."
Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.
"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."
Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."
After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.
"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."
Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.
And, predictably, he drowns.
A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"
God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."
https://www.amazon.com/Buddhist-Boot-Camp-Timber-Hawkeye/dp/0062267434
Get therapy.
Have you read the parable…
A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.
"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."
"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."
Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.
"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."
Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."
After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.
"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."
Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.
And, predictably, he drowns.
A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"
God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."
Anonymous
04/03/2024 06:01
Subject: I’m really struggling
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have you read the Book of Job?
Really? You think God is deliberately screwing with OP to test her faith?
So twisted.
What is? That comment was made in response to the PP who said "Have you read the Book of Job?"
A bit of a cryptic comment that, but presumably the PP was suggesting that God is testing OP's friend. I guess
Anonymous
04/01/2024 20:17
Subject: Re:I’m really struggling
When things are REALLY tough, I remember that Christians are not of this world. Our life on earth is but a blip compared to eternity.
Anonymous
03/31/2024 07:23
Subject: I’m really struggling
Op, praying for u. 🙏
Life isn’t fair.
Try to lift your spirits today by doing something happy. Hike, walk, sing, nap, read, soak in a tub, eat, etc. Do something for you.
Life isn’t fair.
Try to lift your spirits today by doing something happy. Hike, walk, sing, nap, read, soak in a tub, eat, etc. Do something for you.
Anonymous
03/31/2024 07:14
Subject: Re:I’m really struggling
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I hope whatever difficulty you are facing will pass. A few thoughts that have helped me through tough times.
First, you have to believe that God allows everything to happen for a reason, for the good of you and those around you. This is so so basic and you should ask yourself if you really believe this. I had a traumatic medical episode years ago and I was so mad at God and felt so confused and betrayed. I felt like I have done everything by the books in my life and this is how I'm rewarded. In the end though, when I put aside my anger (because the anger wasn't exactly helping), I realized that the event made me more sure of God's existence. Because the alternative, that there is no God and it's all random, meant that all my suffering and the suffering of everyone who has suffered, were meaningless. It meant that life was just a cosmic joke, with us finding joy and love only to have it all inevitably snatched away. Say what you will about wishful thinking, but I did not want to live in the second universe.
Once you get over the first hump, you have to then truly believe that God will not give you more than you can bear. It's a logical outflow of the first paragraph but is hard to internalize. It's important to note that God will help you bear your REAL burdens, not perceived ones. Many people are weighed down by the past, or worry over the future. The past is past and the future is imaginary. God doesn't help you bear your imaginary burdens. So focus on the present, on today. Take it one day at a time. Ask God each morning for the strength to do what needs to get done today. Tell God each night that you tried your best and give the rest of the burden back to him.
Third, start cultivating mindfulness. Meditate. Focus on the present and your senses. Traditional Buddhism is a great source for mindfulness practice. This will help with detachment and both paragraphs above.
Good luck!
^^^good thoughtful advice, I will pray for you too!
Anonymous
03/31/2024 07:05
Subject: I’m really struggling
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Talking with an Iraqi friend, also a Christian, he just said matter-of-factly: "Oh, there is no justice in this life." This is true for many, which is why, as the saying goes: If you believe in justice, then you have to believe in an after-life.
I'm sorry things are so difficult right now. As Christians, this is one reason we look forward hopefully to the "life of the world to come" as the creed says.
Meanwhile, in this life, God causes the sun to rise on both the righteous and the unrighteous (Mt. 5).
If you believe in redemption through faith, then you don't really believe in justice in the afterlife either
Not true at all. Many, many people never seek redemption.
Anonymous
03/30/2024 15:54
Subject: I’m really struggling
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have you read the Book of Job?
Really? You think God is deliberately screwing with OP to test her faith?
So twisted.
Anonymous
03/30/2024 14:06
Subject: I’m really struggling
OP here - thank you for the prayers (I’ll take them!) and kind words. Hoping Easter brings new beginnings here too.
Anonymous
03/27/2024 12:52
Subject: Re:I’m really struggling
Adding an excerpt from Screwtape Letters that speaks to my post above about only focusing on the present and not dwelling on fears of the future. (for those unfamiliar with Screwtape Letters, it's written from the POV of the devil and the "Enemy" is God).
"We want him to be in the maximum uncertainty, so that his mind will be filled with contradictory pictures of the future, every one of which arouses hope or fear. There is nothing like suspense and anxiety for barricading a human’s mind against the Enemy. He wants men to be concerned with what they do; our business is to keep them thinking about what will happen to them.
Your patient will, of course, have picked up the notion that he must submit with patience to the Enemy’s will. What the Enemy means by this is primarily that he should accept with patience the tribulation which has actually been dealt out to him — the present anxiety and suspense. It is about this that he is to say “Thy will be done”, and for the daily task of bearing this that the daily bread will be provided. It is your business to see that the patient never thinks of the present fear as his appointed cross but only of the things he is afraid of."
"We want him to be in the maximum uncertainty, so that his mind will be filled with contradictory pictures of the future, every one of which arouses hope or fear. There is nothing like suspense and anxiety for barricading a human’s mind against the Enemy. He wants men to be concerned with what they do; our business is to keep them thinking about what will happen to them.
Your patient will, of course, have picked up the notion that he must submit with patience to the Enemy’s will. What the Enemy means by this is primarily that he should accept with patience the tribulation which has actually been dealt out to him — the present anxiety and suspense. It is about this that he is to say “Thy will be done”, and for the daily task of bearing this that the daily bread will be provided. It is your business to see that the patient never thinks of the present fear as his appointed cross but only of the things he is afraid of."