Anonymous wrote:Went through this process last year. DS got into every school applied to, including a 'Big 3' and I don't know why and why some of his friends didn't. My son is well spoken, does not play a sport seriously and does great academically .. Like many of his friends. We're involved parents, but not anywhere near the amount other families. We donate but not as much as many others. Sometimes it's just how the chips fall and it has nothing to do with your son... I'm sure there's some extraordinary kids that earn their spots in the top schools and for others, I think it's down to luck which of the great applicants get chosen.

It's definitely not luck.

Intrinsic awesomeness!!

You and your kids just don't have 'it'..

Totally kidding - I think it's luck. My kid had top scores and has been recognized nationally for a talent the school offers and only made the WL. The school needs them, they don't need the school! School's loss, not ours.

Went through this process last year. DS got into every school applied to, including a 'Big 3' and I don't know why and why some of his friends didn't. My son is well spoken, does not play a sport seriously and does great academically .. Like many of his friends. We're involved parents, but not anywhere near the amount other families. We donate but not as much as many others. Sometimes it's just how the chips fall and it has nothing to do with your son... I'm sure there's some extraordinary kids that earn their spots in the top schools and for others, I think it's down to luck which of the great applicants get chosen.

Which ones get thrown in the "no'' file first round?

Once basic requirements are met, it’s subjective. You really can’t guarantee an acceptance anywhere. My shy kid kid had great chemistry with the admissions director at his top choice school—it was amazing how she just “got” him. I suspect that her write-up combined with recommendations from teachers who knew him very well went the furthest in getting him a spot. We also submitted an extra recommendation from an extracurricular activity that showed he had a strong drive to succeed; I suspect this also helped as he’s a mild mannered kid that can sometimes get overlooked.

OP -- luck and randomness. As you can see, people have different answers above based on what they perceive worked for them.

But it is far from a perfect process. The admissions people are just humans, and they only know if the people who get in then go on to be decent students. They rarely get good information about the success or worthiness of students they didn't take, so they can't even learn from their own data.

Meanwhile, there are so many idiosyncratic and subjective variables. Was the interviewer too late to stop at Starbucks that morning? Was your child having friend drama that week? Was the teacher writing a recommendation super busy at the time? Did the admissions person read your file just before or just after lunch? How many siblings are applying at the same time and what are their profiles? Etc etc.

At the extremes, there are some applications which are clear decisions. For the bulk of applications, it could go either way.

The decisions have real consequences. But that doesn't mean there is some sort of profound basis for them.

Also, parents' service to previous school/preschool.

The real answer is there is just a lot of randomness to the process. People try to justify the results after and sometimes it is possible to come up with a rationale, but a lot of it is just chance.

Parent's educational background and work/employment.

I remember on one school tour we had at Bullis, one of the kids on the tour acted like he was intentionally trying to sabotage his chances. The kid was jumping on tables, screaming through a microphone he'd found in the gymnasium, and touching things that the tour guide instructed the children not to touch. His parents didn't even seem phased by this, but if I were the tour guide I would have reported this back to the admissions team because that kid would have been a nightmare in the classroom.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t forget behavior.

Our child was at a private that sent many students to top schools. Children were not prepared for exmissions, but they were generally expected to be considerate and well-behaved. They were also expected to have friendly conversations with adults. The ones who did not meet this expectation did not get into top schools, even when the parents were VIPs and grades were great. The kids who got into top schools were not uniformly smart, but they were uniformly kind.

One very intelligent, career-driven mom’s overachieving child was rejected or waitlisted everywhere because of her own oblivious and obnoxious behavior. When she found out via the HoS inquiring that she was the reason her child not accepted, she then started explaining how the schools were short-sighted and missing out by not accepting her child. This might all be true, but it also exemplifies the very behavior that might have prevented her from being a wanted member of the community.

Interesting vignette that definitely makes sense. What exactly did she do/say that prevented her child from being admitted?

When there are hundreds of kids applying for just a few spots, don't under-estimate the power of personality. I've heard the admissions people at my children's school talking about the process and they've said things like, "remember that kid who was dancing outside? I really liked him." Kids don't always understand that their behavior (and not just outlandishly bad behavior) makes a difference. For high school, confidence and the child's ability to interview well is also a big deal. For PK, if you have a child who will make eye contact and talk to just about anyone - chances are they will do well.

Anonymous wrote:My kids attended a private k-8. This 100% helped with high school admissions for my kids. The head of school advocates for your child and works to get them into one of their top 2 choices. All of my kids got into top private schools for 9th and I am sure that wouldn’t have happened coming from public. Nothing extraordinary about my kids, just normal “smart” kids. Tests scores met the threshold, grades were good but not perfect, not athletic, no awards, high HHI but not big donor level. You get the idea.

PP here. One more thing, my DCs are all very comfortable talking with adults and are noticeably well spoken, funny, etc. I think they definitely interview well and make a good first impression.

My kids attended a private k-8. This 100% helped with high school admissions for my kids. The head of school advocates for your child and works to get them into one of their top 2 choices. All of my kids got into top private schools for 9th and I am sure that wouldn’t have happened coming from public. Nothing extraordinary about my kids, just normal “smart” kids. Tests scores met the threshold, grades were good but not perfect, not athletic, no awards, high HHI but not big donor level. You get the idea.

Test scores and who you know (including how connected your principal is). That’s my take away from this last admissions cycles.