Anonymous
03/21/2024 01:56
Subject: How to care less about clutter
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Very common to see others clutter but not your own.
That's deep.
My DH can’t stand any clutter he didn’t create but doesn’t address his stacks of papers, folded clothes he doesn’t put away and work equipment blocking what I need to get to. He is critical by nature though so I am not surprised by this.
Ugh mine too
Anonymous
03/21/2024 00:07
Subject: Re:How to care less about clutter
I don’t think you are neurotic OP just because you want your living space to be kept neat, clutter-free + orderly.
A clean environment certainly is important in a family if you would like the home fires to burn smoothly.
Being organized helps family households from falling into utter chaos.
With a brand-new baby on the way >> it is even more imperative to get the house in order.
Because once you have a newborn, you will likely be so tired that you will not have any energy to tidy up.
Plus remember you are now in nesting mode too!
A clean environment certainly is important in a family if you would like the home fires to burn smoothly.
Being organized helps family households from falling into utter chaos.
With a brand-new baby on the way >> it is even more imperative to get the house in order.
Because once you have a newborn, you will likely be so tired that you will not have any energy to tidy up.
Plus remember you are now in nesting mode too!
Anonymous
03/19/2024 13:27
Subject: How to care less about clutter
Anonymous wrote:I am unusually bothered by visual clutter, which I usually solve by tidying and picking up — abandoned socks get tossed in the hamper, books get shelved or neatly stacked by the stairs for someone to put away, etc. But now I am Very Very Pregnant and it’s hard to bend over, I don’t want to demand my husband and kids help tidy to my satisfaction because 1) it’s a me problem 2) DH works very hard and I don’t want to create more work for him, and 3) getting the kids to do the part they really ARE responsible for is already like pulling teeth. (I do always ask everyone to pull their age-appropriate weight in keeping our house reasonably neat, but I figure anything beyond that is the responsibility of the person who actually cares about it, ie me.)
So: any tips on how to care less about whether there’s Stuff Where It Doesn’t Belong? Putting this in this forum because DH noticed me getting stressed out about it yesterday and spent a while picking up things I was slow and achy at, which I really appreciate, but I want to chill out about it so he doesn’t have to do it for his neurotic wife.
Get one of those trash pickers or shelf-reach-grabbers -- and you won't have to bend over so far.
Anonymous
03/19/2024 13:04
Subject: How to care less about clutter
Anonymous wrote:No one likes clutter. Thats not a disorder to like clear surface areas and germ free, food free counters or table tops.
Your husband needs to learn NOW, whilst yours pregnant, to put things in their place, clean counters and tables 2-3 times a day quick w a wipe, and pick things up off the floor.
Once your kids are 5 they should do that too. Everything has a place- a drawer, a shelf, a bin.
Some people with very low self discipline allow their room or home to get so cluttered they get overwhelmed. And never chip away at deckuttering it. Same as being overnight to obese. Once yours in the obese or hoarder realm it’s way tougher to declutter, need way more time.
Can’t wait until you’re back here complaining that your husband expects you to be his mommy…
(Which would be entirely reasonable, since YOU seem to think you’re his mommy)
Anonymous
03/19/2024 12:37
Subject: Re:How to care less about clutter
Have cleaners come more often.
Anonymous
03/19/2024 09:58
Subject: How to care less about clutter
Anonymous wrote:You need to ruthlessly purge. It’s a big point of contention between spouse and I.
+1 stuff builds up quick.purge and buy less.
Anonymous
03/19/2024 09:56
Subject: How to care less about clutter
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Very common to see others clutter but not your own.
That's deep.
My DH can’t stand any clutter he didn’t create but doesn’t address his stacks of papers, folded clothes he doesn’t put away and work equipment blocking what I need to get to. He is critical by nature though so I am not surprised by this.
Anonymous
03/19/2024 09:28
Subject: How to care less about clutter
Anonymous wrote:Very common to see others clutter but not your own.
That's deep.
Anonymous
03/19/2024 09:27
Subject: Re:How to care less about clutter
Tell the kids to do it. ESP since they see you're pregnant! I go fierce on this and say "I don't want to see ANYTHING on the floor! You're not doing anything until this room in picked up." Problem solved lol.
Anonymous
03/19/2024 09:17
Subject: How to care less about clutter
Move the pigs to one room in the basement. Treat them like the untrained house dog they are. If they want to pee where they sleep, kick them out.
Anonymous
03/18/2024 22:34
Subject: How to care less about clutter
You need to ruthlessly purge. It’s a big point of contention between spouse and I.
Anonymous
03/18/2024 13:13
Subject: Re:How to care less about clutter
The “phase of life” framing has helped me a lot. This isn’t a time for being super neat, but I’ll come again.
Anonymous
03/18/2024 13:07
Subject: How to care less about clutter
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I mean, pick a neurosis here. You can work on not being bothered by clutter or you can work on having enough self worth to believe people should help you when you’re super pregnant.
This. Socks go in the hamper. If dh isn’t around, have the kids do it. Take charge, woman!
Yeah well. My spouse is so lazy and “important” he doesn’t even out his clean folded clothes away where the nanny puts it, on the dresser.
Once he mashed the clean clothes all around and “picked up” and put everything in the hamper. Lazy and stupid.
Anonymous
03/18/2024 13:06
Subject: How to care less about clutter
Very common to see others clutter but not your own.
Anonymous
03/18/2024 13:04
Subject: How to care less about clutter
No one likes clutter. Thats not a disorder to like clear surface areas and germ free, food free counters or table tops.
Your husband needs to learn NOW, whilst yours pregnant, to put things in their place, clean counters and tables 2-3 times a day quick w a wipe, and pick things up off the floor.
Once your kids are 5 they should do that too. Everything has a place- a drawer, a shelf, a bin.
Some people with very low self discipline allow their room or home to get so cluttered they get overwhelmed. And never chip away at deckuttering it. Same as being overnight to obese. Once yours in the obese or hoarder realm it’s way tougher to declutter, need way more time.
Your husband needs to learn NOW, whilst yours pregnant, to put things in their place, clean counters and tables 2-3 times a day quick w a wipe, and pick things up off the floor.
Once your kids are 5 they should do that too. Everything has a place- a drawer, a shelf, a bin.
Some people with very low self discipline allow their room or home to get so cluttered they get overwhelmed. And never chip away at deckuttering it. Same as being overnight to obese. Once yours in the obese or hoarder realm it’s way tougher to declutter, need way more time.