Anonymous
03/17/2024 13:27
Subject: Setting expectations in college
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand you people at all. Most of your kids worked their asses off in high school to get into good colleges and you can’t trust them enough to take things from there? Why the need to baby them so much?
We sent four kids to good colleges. To this day I couldn’t tell you the GPA of any of them. All I know is that none graduated with honors, but they all graduated on time, they all eventually got masters degrees, and they are all gainfully employed and well compensated. How long will you all feel so compelled to prolong the rat race?
Let it go.
I think the folks that visit this site are all helicopter parents who can't let go (myself included)!
Anonymous
03/17/2024 13:26
Subject: Re:Setting expectations in college
Either they're self motivated and ready for college or not. If not, either take a gap year or go to community college. My kids told me their college grades each semester because we have a good relationship. It was up to them if they did or didn't go to classes. I encouraged them to go to office hours with each professor at least once each semester, and I probably helped them draft their first email to a professor and told them things like "real adults appreciate punctuation - don't email them the same way you text your friends." Other than that, they handled it.
Anonymous
03/17/2024 13:22
Subject: Setting expectations in college
I don’t understand you people at all. Most of your kids worked their asses off in high school to get into good colleges and you can’t trust them enough to take things from there? Why the need to baby them so much?
We sent four kids to good colleges. To this day I couldn’t tell you the GPA of any of them. All I know is that none graduated with honors, but they all graduated on time, they all eventually got masters degrees, and they are all gainfully employed and well compensated. How long will you all feel so compelled to prolong the rat race?
Let it go.
We sent four kids to good colleges. To this day I couldn’t tell you the GPA of any of them. All I know is that none graduated with honors, but they all graduated on time, they all eventually got masters degrees, and they are all gainfully employed and well compensated. How long will you all feel so compelled to prolong the rat race?
Let it go.
Anonymous
03/17/2024 13:18
Subject: Re:Setting expectations in college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If the GPA drops below a 3.0 for one semester, I’m not paying for the next one.
It worked for me.
I dunno, I want my kids trying things that are so hard they aren’t actually certain they’ll do well. It feels like this would be a disincentive to taking big risks.
+1
my 3.99UW/1520/10AP/great EC kid attended a T30 school for engineering. Used the AP credit and took calc 3/4 and Orgo 1&2 as a freshman. Spring semester was rough and ended with a 2.9xx. Bounced back with a 3.7+ each of the next 3 semesters so far. Engineering is hard.
We have discussions with our kids that goal is a 3.0+ simply because you need that for internships and it's a great goal to have.
But we more look at their effort. Yes, if they get a 2.2 and spent the semester out partying and not really doing academics, then they would know "do it another semester and you are not staying at an expensive school--you can come home and go to community college/local state U and figure things out". But if that 2.2 comes from genuine hard work in a hard major, Im still supporting them
This is such a pathetic post. You still describe your kid by reference to his high schools stats years into college. Wow. You people are something else. You could have made your same exact points without having to give the high school numbers.
Anonymous
03/17/2024 13:14
Subject: Re:Setting expectations in college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If the GPA drops below a 3.0 for one semester, I’m not paying for the next one.
It worked for me.
You sound like someone who doesn’t have children.
No, it sounds like someone is a responsible parent who holds their kids accountable.
Anonymous
03/17/2024 13:12
Subject: Setting expectations in college
DC knows that the current school is only affordable for us because of the merit award. That automatically means the expectations are 1) graduate in four years, since that’s all it’s good for, and 2) maintain the minimum GPA required by the school to keep the scholarship. DH and I did not set any additional expectations beyond those.
We do not have access to grades, nor have we asked for that. We did ask DC to grant us access to the billing portal so that we can more easily make the payments.
We do not have access to grades, nor have we asked for that. We did ask DC to grant us access to the billing portal so that we can more easily make the payments.
Anonymous
03/17/2024 12:45
Subject: Setting expectations in college
If you’ve raised your kids well, they should be self-motivated when in college
Anonymous
03/17/2024 12:43
Subject: Re:Setting expectations in college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If the GPA drops below a 3.0 for one semester, I’m not paying for the next one.
It worked for me.
I dunno, I want my kids trying things that are so hard they aren’t actually certain they’ll do well. It feels like this would be a disincentive to taking big risks.
+1
my 3.99UW/1520/10AP/great EC kid attended a T30 school for engineering. Used the AP credit and took calc 3/4 and Orgo 1&2 as a freshman. Spring semester was rough and ended with a 2.9xx. Bounced back with a 3.7+ each of the next 3 semesters so far. Engineering is hard.
We have discussions with our kids that goal is a 3.0+ simply because you need that for internships and it's a great goal to have.
But we more look at their effort. Yes, if they get a 2.2 and spent the semester out partying and not really doing academics, then they would know "do it another semester and you are not staying at an expensive school--you can come home and go to community college/local state U and figure things out". But if that 2.2 comes from genuine hard work in a hard major, Im still supporting them
Anonymous
03/17/2024 11:14
Subject: Setting expectations in college
If you're waiting until college to set expectations for school you are too late!
Anonymous
03/17/2024 11:12
Subject: Setting expectations in college
We did not micromanage. Just told him he is on the four year plan; that is all we pay for. Ended up needing two summer classes due to dual major. He was at an “easier” college so beginning was not a stretch academically. Now he is sweating it senior year, but will be graduating with a 3.8 and a good job lined up.
Anonymous
03/17/2024 11:09
Subject: Setting expectations in college
Anonymous wrote:No set expectations. It is such a new experience, especially as a freshman, that you kind of have to just muddle through.
I agree. The newfound independence can be overwhelming. I noticed that kids from less strict households didn't go as crazy with the freedom. Just my observation. Maybe things have changed over the years though.
Anonymous
03/17/2024 10:58
Subject: Setting expectations in college
No set expectations. It is such a new experience, especially as a freshman, that you kind of have to just muddle through.
Anonymous
03/17/2024 10:52
Subject: Setting expectations in college
At 18 I knew I had a life to build - that was on me. Student's weren't goofing around so much as to wreak their futures. Our kids did not disappoint us. We didn't need to know their grades.
Anonymous
03/17/2024 10:50
Subject: Re:Setting expectations in college
Anonymous wrote:If the GPA drops below a 3.0 for one semester, I’m not paying for the next one.
It worked for me.
Wow, if that were the case my daughter now would have $30,000 worth of extra debt because she had one semester that was under the three-point. Oh but she now is about to graduate with 3.6.
Seems a bit harsh. Perhaps you could do what I did which was to help her find tutors, got her some support medically, as she has ADHD, and just tried to help her through it rather than punishing her for something she was already upset about herself.
Anonymous
03/17/2024 10:48
Subject: Setting expectations in college
Going to have to work out information sharing with the kid before hand. As others have said your kid has to share billing information with you to be able to see it.
So unless they are willing to share information or you have a tracking device on them you won’t know about class attendance. Advisor can’t share any information so again unless kid shares you want even know what classes they are taking.
All this makes it easier to indoctrinate the kid. So you had 18 years to set them on the right path. If you haven’t done it, all hope is lost at this point.
Agree with many posters who require a minimum GPA, usually 3.0 to continue to foot the bill. Hard to get below that at most colleges today because grade inflation exists there as well.
Good luck.
So unless they are willing to share information or you have a tracking device on them you won’t know about class attendance. Advisor can’t share any information so again unless kid shares you want even know what classes they are taking.
All this makes it easier to indoctrinate the kid. So you had 18 years to set them on the right path. If you haven’t done it, all hope is lost at this point.
Agree with many posters who require a minimum GPA, usually 3.0 to continue to foot the bill. Hard to get below that at most colleges today because grade inflation exists there as well.
Good luck.