Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:54
Subject: Re:If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:People assume I’m Christian when I am not. They also often guess Irish. Nope, Jew of Ashkenazi / Eastern European extraction. It only bothered me when I was dating, because I wanted to date and marry within my religion. It was never a big deal though.
I have a friend who is blond and pasty white, with the most white bread name you can find, but Muslim. I have always wondered what kind of reactions he gets if people assume he’s Christian and if he corrects them. But I have never asked. And maybe he doesn’t correct them anyway, because in most contexts it wouldn’t matter.
I’m guessing you’re a redhead? My half Ashkenazi redheaded dd gets asked if she’s Irish.
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:53
Subject: Re:If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:People assume I’m Christian when I am not. They also often guess Irish. Nope, Jew of Ashkenazi / Eastern European extraction. It only bothered me when I was dating, because I wanted to date and marry within my religion. It was never a big deal though.
I have a friend who is blond and pasty white, with the most white bread name you can find, but Muslim. I have always wondered what kind of reactions he gets if people assume he’s Christian and if he corrects them. But I have never asked. And maybe he doesn’t correct them anyway, because in most contexts it wouldn’t matter.
Is your friend Eastern European from former Yugoslavia?
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:51
Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:Many many times people think I am Spanish because I speak with an accent, even though I am born in Boston. It is not up to me to correct them.
😂 And you just happened to give all of your children Hispanic names…
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:49
Subject: Re:If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:People used to always assume I was Jewish because my last name is one that in certain circles is nearly always Jewish but in my case is not. It didn't bother me, I just corrected them if I felt like it. Sometimes it was helpful...my first job out of college was at firm where all the top leadership was Jewish. Did their assumption help me in the recruiting process? No idea but it wouldn't have hurt. Also, when my non-Jewish friend married a Jewish man, his mother was pretty upset about the wedding. On the wedding day she asked me to be her MILs helper/handler for the day. I could tell MIL assumed I was Jewish and liked that her DIL at least had one Jewish friend. So, I did not correct that impression!
When I married I took my husband's name and moved my maiden name to the middle. I hadn't realized how often the Jewish question came up until people stopped making that assumption.
Replace "Jewish" with "White". Not great, eh?
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:45
Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
When I was in Ireland, people thought I was Irish until I started speaking. Clearly I am American, but I have Irish heritage. That was pretty cool though. NGL
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:44
Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Many many times people think I am Spanish because I speak with an accent, even though I am born in Boston. It is not up to me to correct them.
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:37
Subject: Re:If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
People assume I’m Christian when I am not. They also often guess Irish. Nope, Jew of Ashkenazi / Eastern European extraction. It only bothered me when I was dating, because I wanted to date and marry within my religion. It was never a big deal though.
I have a friend who is blond and pasty white, with the most white bread name you can find, but Muslim. I have always wondered what kind of reactions he gets if people assume he’s Christian and if he corrects them. But I have never asked. And maybe he doesn’t correct them anyway, because in most contexts it wouldn’t matter.
I have a friend who is blond and pasty white, with the most white bread name you can find, but Muslim. I have always wondered what kind of reactions he gets if people assume he’s Christian and if he corrects them. But I have never asked. And maybe he doesn’t correct them anyway, because in most contexts it wouldn’t matter.
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:37
Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
I am Senegalese and people are constantly assuming I'm from Guinea-Bissau. It is infuriating.
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:36
Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Since early childhood I was interested in other people’s religion (wasn’t raised religious) heritage, languages spoken in their family, ancestors country of origin, etc. I have no idea why. I am still genuinely curious, but not everyone wants to share that information, so I try not to ask, or make assumptions. I’m sure I e unintentionally offended people over the years and I cringe to think of it. I’m grateful to the people who have shared their backgrounds and stories with me.
Trying to learn without assuming.
Trying to learn without assuming.
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:30
Subject: Re:If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Do you mean ethnicity, OP?
And no, I'm not being pedantic. I'm wondering why OP mixed those 2 up.
And yeah, I get upset if people guess that my nationality is any thing but American when any number of clues would help them figure it out.
And no, I'm not being pedantic. I'm wondering why OP mixed those 2 up.
And yeah, I get upset if people guess that my nationality is any thing but American when any number of clues would help them figure it out.
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:19
Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:No, because people are reasonable and when you tell them where you come from, they integrate it.
HOWEVER, I am the author of the thread about a staff member at my child's school who insists on assuming that every vaguely Asian-looking kid is Chinese. She doesn't even ask! She calls my daughter's friend "the Chinese girl", and has kept it up, asking my daughter whether they can talk to a Chinese exchange student under the assumption they share the same native language. She just doesn't seem to be all there, to be honest. After a year of this, the kids are getting irritated (none of them are of Chinese heritage).
That is deliberate and highly ignorant. I would be irritated too. I get mistaken for Hispanic all the time and unless someone kept insisting that I am I just brush it off.
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:16
Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:No, because people are reasonable and when you tell them where you come from, they integrate it.
HOWEVER, I am the author of the thread about a staff member at my child's school who insists on assuming that every vaguely Asian-looking kid is Chinese. She doesn't even ask! She calls my daughter's friend "the Chinese girl", and has kept it up, asking my daughter whether they can talk to a Chinese exchange student under the assumption they share the same native language. She just doesn't seem to be all there, to be honest. After a year of this, the kids are getting irritated (none of them are of Chinese heritage).
I get that too (not Chinese, but similar situation) - it is irritating when people insist that you are something or someone you are not. ie: start talking to you like you are another (person of that background that they know), for example. If I tell you I am not that person or that background, it means I'm actually not.
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:12
Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
No, because people are reasonable and when you tell them where you come from, they integrate it.
HOWEVER, I am the author of the thread about a staff member at my child's school who insists on assuming that every vaguely Asian-looking kid is Chinese. She doesn't even ask! She calls my daughter's friend "the Chinese girl", and has kept it up, asking my daughter whether they can talk to a Chinese exchange student under the assumption they share the same native language. She just doesn't seem to be all there, to be honest. After a year of this, the kids are getting irritated (none of them are of Chinese heritage).
HOWEVER, I am the author of the thread about a staff member at my child's school who insists on assuming that every vaguely Asian-looking kid is Chinese. She doesn't even ask! She calls my daughter's friend "the Chinese girl", and has kept it up, asking my daughter whether they can talk to a Chinese exchange student under the assumption they share the same native language. She just doesn't seem to be all there, to be honest. After a year of this, the kids are getting irritated (none of them are of Chinese heritage).
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:09
Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:Ha, yes. I'm one of those people who could pass for Jewish or Spanish or Italian or lighter skinned MENA (in reality none of those). I consider it my super power tbh - has come in handy travelling and in some neighbourhoods. My very celtic looking husband notices I get treated better in our very Italian neighbourhood and is a bit jealous.
Anonymous
03/14/2024 13:08
Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Ha, yes. I'm one of those people who could pass for Jewish or Spanish or Italian or lighter skinned MENA (in reality none of those). I consider it my super power tbh - has come in handy travelling and in some neighbourhoods. My very celtic looking husband notices I get treated better and is a bit jealous