Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From K-4, his classmates made fun of him for "being smart." Really, it was that he would bring up topics that they didn't care about - they wanted to talk about video games and would call him names when he changed the subject. We finally convinced him it's not ok to change the subject when a group has made it clear they want to talk about something. And that kids his age don't want to hear about the failure of the Gallipoli campaign or how insulin is produced.

Now in 5th grade, his classmates have stopped teasing him, and he's learned to talk Roblox (which he doesn't particularly about), but it bores him, and he wants to be around kids who talk about different things. How do we find other kids like this? Neighborhood searches haven't panned out. A few summer camp last year were helpful, but it was just a few weeks. Advice?

Does your kid have HFA? I don’t intend to diagnose him & have zero credentials for doing so, but this sounds like textbook HFA… especially changing the subject to a niche subject of interest & not following/understanding the social cues to not do that without help.

I was wondering about autism and saw the same red flags.

But, OP, he finds kids with common interests through activities based on those interests. You haven't given us enough information about what he's interested in, but outschool is a good place to find kids all interested in niche topics.

Anonymous wrote:My kid is ASD with low support needs (10 years ago would have been Aspbergers). This sounds exactly like her. The "faking it" you refer to could be masking. Read up on it. The spectrum is wide and deep. The struggle is real. Start with "Is This Autism" by Donna Henderson.

My kid's special interest is Avatar the Last Airbender. Seems to be a common interest of kids with this profile.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not what you want to hear. He needs to up his EQ, unless you want him to go through life without friends.

I grew up with someone like your son and she has very few friends. You are giving the same vibes - no one is teasing your kid for being smart at a private school. They are interested in other things. He needs to learn to find common ground. You pursuing the fallacy that he is smarter than the other kids at his school will not be helpful in the long run.

Like I said, he's gotten better. But his interests haven't changed, and that's where the issue is. How do I convince him to watch YouTube videos on Roblox instead of military history? I created a more appropriate playlist of video game videos last week and he was pretty angry about it.

I do not think he is smarter than the other kids. He does, because they tell them so. I don't know how to stop that until they do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. So I guess the other question is, how do I make him interested in "normal" things? He says he's bored at lunch now because he doesn't have anything to talk about anymore.

You can’t make him be interested in “normal” things. You can, however, teach him to be (or pretend to be) interested in other people.

He’s bored because he literally doesn’t know how to talk about anything other than his own interests. Teach him to do that.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. So I guess the other question is, how do I make him interested in "normal" things? He says he's bored at lunch now because he doesn't have anything to talk about anymore.

Anonymous wrote:This is not what you want to hear. He needs to up his EQ, unless you want him to go through life without friends.

I grew up with someone like your son and she has very few friends. You are giving the same vibes - no one is teasing your kid for being smart at a private school. They are interested in other things. He needs to learn to find common ground. You pursuing the fallacy that he is smarter than the other kids at his school will not be helpful in the long run.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are the things he likes to talk about?

The gallipoli campaign duhh

This doesn’t strike as that odd. Lots of kids like talking about historical battles be it WWI or Roman Empire. There must be something about the way he’s communicating about battles that’s turning people off.

I say this as someone with an elementary daughter who loves fantasy books and she still manages to find others who share her special interest.

The only other problem I see is that your son seems fixated on this specific group of friends. When my daughter wanted to talk about fantasy books she had to find the quieter kids who she might not have interacted much before. Her regular group of outgoing soccer girls were not interested and she had enough social skills to not try to force the topic. Obviously, you have to be open to meeting new people for this to work.

I wouldn't say he's fixated. He's at a private school with only two classes per grade in elementary, so there just aren't a lot of kids to hang out with.

Anonymous wrote:This is not what you want to hear. He needs to up his EQ, unless you want him to go through life without friends.

I grew up with someone like your son and she has very few friends. You are giving the same vibes - no one is teasing your kid for being smart at a private school. They are interested in other things. He needs to learn to find common ground. You pursuing the fallacy that he is smarter than the other kids at his school will not be helpful in the long run.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are the things he likes to talk about?

The gallipoli campaign duhh

This doesn’t strike as that odd. Lots of kids like talking about historical battles be it WWI or Roman Empire. There must be something about the way he’s communicating about battles that’s turning people off.

I say this as someone with an elementary daughter who loves fantasy books and she still manages to find others who share her special interest.

The only other problem I see is that your son seems fixated on this specific group of friends. When my daughter wanted to talk about fantasy books she had to find the quieter kids who she might not have interacted much before. Her regular group of outgoing soccer girls were not interested and she had enough social skills to not try to force the topic. Obviously, you have to be open to meeting new people for this to work.