I know a family, oldest with autism, other threa all ND. their family imploded. don't be like them

Anonymous wrote:One of my children (5.5yo) has combined type ADHD. We also have a 2.5yo who seems NT, having had the experience of raising both a ND and seemingly NT toddler and being able to distinguish. Dh and I are considering having one more child but I want to be very thoughtful about this decision from the aspect of DS having adhd and ensuring that my kids needs are well met. I don’t want to do something that will jeopardize the best interest of my kids.

Anyone else in a similar situation? Financially is not really a concern - it’s more about needs from a bandwidth standpoint. Would love to hear from other parents who are juggling kids with SN along with siblings, or just parents further down the road of an ADHDer.

We are in the trial/error process of medications to treat DS’s ADHD and he’s in several therapeutic interventions as well.

I think it depends a lot on your family's bandwidth and resources. Do you both work? Do your jobs have flexibility? Is your partner really helpful? Can you hire outside help? Do you have family nearby?

Two of three kids (oldest and youngest) with ADHD + DH. The oldest was diagnosed at age 5. At the same time, we were going through EI with youngest. They got their IEPs within months of each other.

My DH's mother had ADHD. His sibling and father do not.

We believe my mother has ADHD, my father did not. Of my 4 siblings and me, I don't have ADHD but 3 of my siblings do.

DH - asd, low muscle tone, adhd inattentive, anxiety
DC1- asd, low muscle tone, adhd combined, anxiety & sensory disorder
DC2- adhd combined, dyslexia, speech disorder

It is tough for me to be working full work, managing kids with therapies & school with minimal help and etc. Our house is messy, but kids are clean and happy. I am done with 2 kids. I don't have much sleepy or me time for myself.

Two kids + DH with ADHD. Kids are on the milder end. DS is more impulsive diagnosed in 9th grade and meds helped a lot. I had suspected for a while but it didn't really debilitate him at school until the pressures ramped up in HS. Now in college and doing great, now off meds. DD we completely missed because she has inattentive type. Like DS, diagnosed in HS when she started falling apart. Now a college freshman and still struggles with EF skills and needs her medication.

DH, I've just learned not to delegate critical things to him, to be extremely clear in instructions, and stick to consistent routines. e.g. when it came to getting kids to summer camps, he was in charge of mornings but could not handle inconsistent car pooling arrangements. It had to be the same every day. He has other strengths but I've had to embrace being the family/house manager.

I have two and the oldest has severe ADHD (along with at least one other diagnosis and possibly clinical anxiety). When we had our second the oldest was not diagnosed but they had always been really challenging.

Younger one was a totally different experience- easy easy easy as a baby and a toddler. Gosh I really enjoyed those years. However he got a medical diagnosis that is not life threatening but pretty serious in early elementary school and it’s been a lot for all us. Older child is doing really well at school and socially but falls apart at home and takes out a lot on the younger one who is perceived as the favorite and “babied” in part because of their medical condition. We do everything we can to separate them after school but my husband is often not available so it’s challenging. I think it’s probably for the best we don’t have a third.

My husband was always set on 2 and the pandemic kind of squashed the end of the window I could have easily gotten pregnant again but I do sometimes have sadness that I don’t have another, even though it really wouldn’t have made sense. I love both my kids so much I know I would have enjoyed having another kid to love.