As my husband likes to say, I am so glad we did this, but I never want to do it again.
For our renovation in 2022, we paid our architect a fee and he met with us and the contractor once a week to go over things. The contractor also kept in touch with him and asked him questions, and if it was something we needed to approve, then we got involved.
I think the biggest stressor was all the decisions. So many decisions. We decided on a lot before construction started, but still it was a lot during the reno. For me, it was also stressful to not be home. We rented another house and commuted to school/work from there. It was hard for me to see our home all torn up. And there was stress toward the end when it was like...will they be done before we move back in??? The answer was we added a month onto our expectations.
But I agree with my H, the larger home provides so much less stress in daily living now. We have a large kitchen with an island, so I can hang out with my H while he cooks. We have huge closets. My son thinks our big light-filled bathroom is "calming" and will just hang out in there.

And having a mudroom area next to our back door is seriously the best thing ever. No more shoes and coats all over!!!
It was a lot of money and a lot of stress but very much worth it.