Can a private speech therapist or occupational therapist using the social thinking or zones of regulation program come to his school to work with staff and your child? The public schools can also set up a service plan IEP to help his private school team if you keep him in private school. You would have to have him evaluated and see if he qualifies for special education through the Fairfax public schools.

Thank you all for your comments and recommendations. I really appreciate it because we have been struggling for years. Someone asked what the two "e"s were when he was diagnosed as "Twice Exceptional." The psychologist said he was: (1) on the spectrum, but just barely . . . like an Aspergers I guess; and (2) Extremely high intelligence. We have started new medication to see if that helps. If any of you have success stories of making it through a hard time, please share too because I currently feel like it will take a miracle to improve things. Our son has a developmental delay (for sure) and still acts like a 4 year old......but he's 7. So, in public, when he acts out, or in the classroom when he acts out, it is just awful. He IS getting better, but the progress feels so slow and incremental. Has anyone else gone through this and does it get better?

OP when you say he had a pyche eval did he have a full neuropsych? I agree with others that you really want to determine the diagnosis because that also may lead you to the right medication which I personally would 100% be full force considering if in your shoes. I guess I was in your shoes but at preschool age and we tried medication at age 5 and it was a game changer. But my child had ADHD.

Diagnosis isn't perfect, but it can really help in figuring out treatment options both medication wise and therapy wise. Like another poster said, if it is autism adhd and he's receiving play therapy - likely won't help. If it is anxiety, or transitions maybe.

For what it is worth, my child with ADHD who also struggled with aggression at 4-5 with peers is doing GREAT at a public school with IEP. Listen to the professionals more than us here on dcum as we obviously don't have the whole picture, but pps are right that there aren't a lot of options for kids with aggression. Call the ones pps have suggested and then be open if you need to! I'm sorry. it's so hard. My son is doing so much better now that he is on ADHD meds, I hope you find something that helps your son soon as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are at FCPS try to get into a CSS (comprehensive services site). We did this and it was a game changer. If the needs are higher need then you can look at Burke. Many parents don't want to do this but these programs really help kids with behaviors immensely.

Burke doesn't have an elementary school. I'm at a complete loss for why people on this listserv recommend schools that they know nothing about.

this says Burke has elementary: https://burkeschool.fcps.edu/about

Anonymous wrote:He had a psyche eval and was diagnosed as a 2e. Since then, the therapists doubt the autism diagnosis even though he tested as being on the spectrum on paper. So, we have one, but it hasn’t been particularly helpful so far.

what we’re the “e”s?

Anonymous wrote:If you are at FCPS try to get into a CSS (comprehensive services site). We did this and it was a game changer. If the needs are higher need then you can look at Burke. Many parents don't want to do this but these programs really help kids with behaviors immensely.

Burke doesn't have an elementary school. I'm at a complete loss for why people on this listserv recommend schools that they know nothing about.

If you are at FCPS try to get into a CSS (comprehensive services site). We did this and it was a game changer. If the needs are higher need then you can look at Burke. Many parents don't want to do this but these programs really help kids with behaviors immensely.

Anonymous wrote:I would look at the Lourie Center school, and also ask about either 1:1 aide or a self contained school in your county.

I agree that Maddux, Diener, and Auburn could all be possibilities if you think the issue is that he is not well supported and that the disregulation could disappear in those contexts. I'd add Katherine Thomas to that list, but definitely not Lab.

I was literally comign to suggest Lourie.

Hi OP, this was me two years ago. We are in public (DCPS) with an IEP. My son had had a neuropsych that diagnosed him as 2e but not autistic - turns out he was/is and he was totally overwhelmed. If you can ask for the ADOS test that will be helpful. Things have gotten way better for us after 2 years although my son still has a few rough days.

This was my thread: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1011860.page

Ivymount doesn’t start until 3rd or 4th grade. Maddux said no. We stayed put in public and it’s been the right decision for now. I would also consider medication - we did guanfacine and it’s been good for taking the edge off his anxiety.

First, sending lots of sympathy and empathy. It's not easy. Your DC sounds like mine. We have tried many, many things and have ultimately landed on medication + public school (with an IEP).

It can be really hard when many decisions and paths are trial and error...

I would start with the public system because you might get a private placement.

I would look at the Lourie Center school, and also ask about either 1:1 aide or a self contained school in your county.

I agree that Maddux, Diener, and Auburn could all be possibilities if you think the issue is that he is not well supported and that the disregulation could disappear in those contexts. I'd add Katherine Thomas to that list, but definitely not Lab.

Anonymous wrote:He had a psyche eval and was diagnosed as a 2e. Since then, the therapists doubt the autism diagnosis even though he tested as being on the spectrum on paper. So, we have one, but it hasn’t been particularly helpful so far.

We had a psychologist who doubted my DC's autism diagnosis. Two years of play therapy twice weekly, with no improvement. That's because DC has autism, and needed entirely different interventions. If a psychologist/therapist expresses doubt about a psych eval, go with the psych eval. Based on your description, it sounds like your kid is on the spectrum. The good news is that ASD gets you an IEP in public.

Anonymous wrote:Is he medicated? That might be your best bet for success at school.

+1

If the therapists doubt the autism diagnosis, I would go back to whomever diagnosed and ask some more questions. Worth continuing to pursue a diagnosis and medication.