Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 5th grader and there's been lots of negative drama with kids in group chats recently. My kid hasn't been involved because she doesn't have a way to access group chats. I intend to keep in that way as long as possible. I'm actually really surprised that parents are letting it continue and aren't taking away the screens. Its not all the kids (less than half, I'd guess), but enough to cause drama.

I have a 7th grade boy and a 4th grade girl. My 7th grader has been in the group chats since 5th grade but he is low drama and mature and mostly reads, doesn't reply much. But we've seen first hand the issues it has caused. There has been bullying, racist jokes, teasing, etc and the school has had to get involved a few times so we use those as cautionary tales. My 4th grader is less mature, even for her age, and would without a doubt get caught up in the drama. And in talking to other parents, they are totally clueless. One in particular says the chat is so great, the kids police each other and call out meanness and she has no problems with it. Meanwhile her daughter is incredibly mean at school, bullies other girls, and is basically a tyrant. The mother is in total denial. If there is a problem on the chat, and there probably is, her daughter would be in the center of it. So, no text for now for mine. It will be nothing but a headache.

Reading between the lines it sounds like some kids act like the thought police and shout down "wrong" opinions on the chat. Ugh.

Anonymous wrote:This has to be public school

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 5th grader and there's been lots of negative drama with kids in group chats recently. My kid hasn't been involved because she doesn't have a way to access group chats. I intend to keep in that way as long as possible. I'm actually really surprised that parents are letting it continue and aren't taking away the screens. Its not all the kids (less than half, I'd guess), but enough to cause drama.

I have a 7th grade boy and a 4th grade girl. My 7th grader has been in the group chats since 5th grade but he is low drama and mature and mostly reads, doesn't reply much. But we've seen first hand the issues it has caused. There has been bullying, racist jokes, teasing, etc and the school has had to get involved a few times so we use those as cautionary tales. My 4th grader is less mature, even for her age, and would without a doubt get caught up in the drama. And in talking to other parents, they are totally clueless. One in particular says the chat is so great, the kids police each other and call out meanness and she has no problems with it. Meanwhile her daughter is incredibly mean at school, bullies other girls, and is basically a tyrant. The mother is in total denial. If there is a problem on the chat, and there probably is, her daughter would be in the center of it. So, no text for now for mine. It will be nothing but a headache.

Reading between the lines it sounds like some kids act like the thought police and shout down "wrong" opinions on the chat. Ugh.

Anonymous wrote:4th grade is too young for all that, OP, you are right to take a stand.

I allowed my 5th grade DD to use Discord during the pandemic lockdown and right away, she learned valuable lessons about cyber bullying, talking to strangers, etc. I was right there monitoring, since we were all in the house all the time. She's in 8th grade now and by choice is not on social media, except that she continues to use Discord with kids she knows in real life.

Safety online is critically important and YOU should be teaching her safe practices in the next couple of years.

At some point, you might also want to pick your battles when adolescence rears its feisty head. Not now, when she's still in elementary, but in middle school, you'll realize that maybe clothes aren't the hill to die on. Clothes and make-up aren't going to get her killed. Sneaking into parties, alcohol, pills laced with fentanyl, cyber bullying, etc, will put her in real danger. You can buy yourself leverage when you appear to relent on certain things, just so you can push more on others.

You can control a child, but you need to outwit an adolescent

Anonymous wrote:This has to be public school

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 5th grader and there's been lots of negative drama with kids in group chats recently. My kid hasn't been involved because she doesn't have a way to access group chats. I intend to keep in that way as long as possible. I'm actually really surprised that parents are letting it continue and aren't taking away the screens. Its not all the kids (less than half, I'd guess), but enough to cause drama.

I have a 7th grade boy and a 4th grade girl. My 7th grader has been in the group chats since 5th grade but he is low drama and mature and mostly reads, doesn't reply much. But we've seen first hand the issues it has caused. There has been bullying, racist jokes, teasing, etc and the school has had to get involved a few times so we use those as cautionary tales. My 4th grader is less mature, even for her age, and would without a doubt get caught up in the drama. And in talking to other parents, they are totally clueless. One in particular says the chat is so great, the kids police each other and call out meanness and she has no problems with it. Meanwhile her daughter is incredibly mean at school, bullies other girls, and is basically a tyrant. The mother is in total denial. If there is a problem on the chat, and there probably is, her daughter would be in the center of it. So, no text for now for mine. It will be nothing but a headache.

Anonymous wrote:Are there really 4th graders wearing makeup? No, you are not crazy for not wanting your kid to wear makeup or expose her midriff at school. We don't even own an iPad in my house and life is all the better for it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have girls, but I’m always mildly shocked when elementary school lets out and I see the 3rd-5th graders come out with their crop tops, short shorts, cell phones, and giant Stanley cups. I know mom is choosing and buying a lot of this stuff and I don’t get it at all.

And on the other end of the spectrum, I find it intensely gross that grown women are judging kids on the lengths of their shirts and shorts. Better get the misogyny started early! Never too soon to start oversexualizing kids!

Anonymous wrote:I have a 5th grader and there's been lots of negative drama with kids in group chats recently. My kid hasn't been involved because she doesn't have a way to access group chats. I intend to keep in that way as long as possible. I'm actually really surprised that parents are letting it continue and aren't taking away the screens. Its not all the kids (less than half, I'd guess), but enough to cause drama.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 5th grader and there's been lots of negative drama with kids in group chats recently. My kid hasn't been involved because she doesn't have a way to access group chats. I intend to keep in that way as long as possible. I'm actually really surprised that parents are letting it continue and aren't taking away the screens. Its not all the kids (less than half, I'd guess), but enough to cause drama.

Same here with a 5th grader: no phone, no social media of her own. I've broached the idea of her joing the class group chat via my account and she said no, it was too stressful. We have a 5th grade friend in a different group chat who is being bullied there and it's awful.

I know we'll probably have to loosen up in 6th but I'm trying to wait as long as possible.

I know there's concern about overscheduling kids but honestly if kids are in a couple activities during the week I don't see how they have time for so much social media.

Anonymous wrote:I have a 5th grader and there's been lots of negative drama with kids in group chats recently. My kid hasn't been involved because she doesn't have a way to access group chats. I intend to keep in that way as long as possible. I'm actually really surprised that parents are letting it continue and aren't taking away the screens. Its not all the kids (less than half, I'd guess), but enough to cause drama.