Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.

This is exactly why we don’t encourage dating in high school.

This is precisely what I was going to say after reading this story. Most 14-17 year olds are not mentally or emotionally equipped to handle what comes with an exclusive, romantic relationship.

They can’t moderate nor maintain a realistic perspective and often throw waste their potential away by being “depressed” over a relationship that was never worth being depressed over to begin with, as OP’s son is doing.

OP, I know you said he doesn’t open up to DH, but I agree with the other poster who said he might have been so intense because he lacks emotional intimacy in general.

I would encourage him to open up to his father and make friends about this. The fact that he only feels comfortable opening up about his feelings to you and his gf means he needs to work on building emotionally secure relationships with men. Maybe then he won’t be so clingy and fatalistic over this one girl.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.

This is exactly why we don’t encourage dating in high school.

This is precisely what I was going to say after reading this story. Most 14-17 year olds are not mentally or emotionally equipped to handle what comes with an exclusive, romantic relationship.

They can’t moderate nor maintain a realistic perspective and often throw waste their potential away by being “depressed” over a relationship that was never worth being depressed over to begin with, as OP’s son is doing.

OP, I know you said he doesn’t open up to DH, but I agree with the other poster who said he might have been so intense because he lacks emotional intimacy in general.

I would encourage him to open up to his father and make friends about this. The fact that he only feels comfortable opening up about his feelings to you and his gf means he needs to work on building emotionally secure relationships with men. Maybe then he won’t be so clingy and fatalistic over this one girl.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.

This is exactly why we don’t encourage dating in high school.

This is precisely what I was going to say after reading this story. Most 14-17 year olds are not mentally or emotionally equipped to handle what comes with an exclusive, romantic relationship.

They can’t moderate nor maintain a realistic perspective and often throw waste their potential away by being “depressed” over a relationship that was never worth being depressed over to begin with, as OP’s son is doing.

OP, I know you said he doesn’t open up to DH, but I agree with the other poster who said he might have been so intense because he lacks emotional intimacy in general.

I would encourage him to open up to his father and make friends about this. The fact that he only feels comfortable opening up about his feelings to you and his gf means he needs to work on building emotionally secure relationships with men. Maybe then he won’t be so clingy and fatalistic over this one girl.

Next

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.

This is exactly why we don’t encourage dating in high school.

This is precisely what I was going to say after reading this story. Most 14-17 year olds are not mentally or emotionally equipped to handle what comes with an exclusive, romantic relationship.

They can’t moderate nor maintain a realistic perspective and often throw waste their potential away by being “depressed” over a relationship that was never worth being depressed over to begin with, as OP’s son is doing.

OP, I know you said he doesn’t open up to DH, but I agree with the other poster who said he might have been so intense because he lacks emotional intimacy in general.

I would encourage him to open up to his father and make friends about this. The fact that he only feels comfortable opening up about his feelings to you and his gf means he needs to work on building emotionally secure relationships with men. Maybe then he won’t be so clingy and fatalistic over this one girl.

Next

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.

This is exactly why we don’t encourage dating in high school.

This is precisely what I was going to say after reading this story. Most 14-17 year olds are not mentally or emotionally equipped to handle what comes with an exclusive, romantic relationship.

They can’t moderate nor maintain a realistic perspective and often throw waste their potential away by being “depressed” over a relationship that was never worth being depressed over to begin with, as OP’s son is doing.

OP, I know you said he doesn’t open up to DH, but I agree with the other poster who said he might have been so intense because he lacks emotional intimacy in general.

I would encourage him to open up to his father and make friends about this. The fact that he only feels comfortable opening up about his feelings to you and his gf means he needs to work on building emotionally secure relationships with men. Maybe then he won’t be so clingy and fatalistic over this one girl.

Next

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.

This is exactly why we don’t encourage dating in high school.

This is precisely what I was going to say after reading this story. Most 14-17 year olds are not mentally or emotionally equipped to handle what comes with an exclusive, romantic relationship.

They can’t moderate nor maintain a realistic perspective and often throw waste their potential away by being “depressed” over a relationship that was never worth being depressed over to begin with, as OP’s son is doing.

OP, I know you said he doesn’t open up to DH, but I agree with the other poster who said he might have been so intense because he lacks emotional intimacy in general.

I would encourage him to open up to his father and make friends about this. The fact that he only feels comfortable opening up about his feelings to you and his gf means he needs to work on building emotionally secure relationships with men. Maybe then he won’t be so clingy and fatalistic over this one girl.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.

This is exactly why we don’t encourage dating in high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.

No OP get him help
This is not normal for a 15 year old.
He is too attached to her not good!

Anonymous wrote:I would give him this piece of advice. If he can step back a little, it will give her room to step forward. It can be hard to reciprocate in a relationship where one partner is doing everything; there’s no room for her to do her part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.

This is exactly why we don’t encourage dating in high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.

This is exactly why we don’t encourage dating in high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop talking to him about the relationship except to listen empathetically as much as you can stand to. No advice or perspective.

Focus on enforcing boundaries about everything else (skipping practice would have serious consequences in our house) and building him up about the other parts of his life.

How so? I don't want to punish him for having feelings, even big ones. When this first started, I was sitting with him trying to convince him to go and he was literally crying into his pasta. What was I supposed to do? Then yesterday he was lying on his bed refusing to move. He's literally taller and heavier than me now. I can't just pick him up and push him out the door anymore.

As far as listening goes. I tell him "I know this is hard, I've been there. Everyone goes through this. I know you feel disappointed. But it's going to be ok. This too will pass." Is there anything else I should be saying? I think he only tells me the actual details though to get advice on what he should do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your role is to listen to him, empathize, but not fix the relationship. This is how he learns what type of gf he wants, what kind of boyfriend he wants to be, etc.

Is it normal for him to be so depressed about this? He has refused to go to practice ever since this started, about a week ago. He is barely studying. He seems like a different person, very sad. I don't understand why he is so intense and extreme about her. They've only known each other a few months, since January.