Anonymous wrote:He's thriving, except for the pressure his mother is putting on him to do more. Back off. He's doing plenty. A sport and an instrument is plenty.

This.

He does soccer, so that’s plenty.

Anonymous wrote:He's thriving, except for the pressure his mother is putting on him to do more. Back off. He's doing plenty. A sport and an instrument is plenty.

+1

Anonymous wrote:My DS got in everywhere he applied with only one EC activity plus summer jobs. He wrote his essays about his various jobs.

Without saying where he applied, this comment is meaningless.

Last summer I had big plans to make my rising freshman son be an involved HS student.
The reality ended up being a compromise- he did some activities Fall and Winter, but this Spring he comes home after school - works out in our basement and plays Xbox.
There is no community service, volunteering or extra books being read.

I have a new respect for the kids/families that play year round HS sports/theater/band. These are really long school days.

Some kids aren’t cut out for a full day of school plus practice/travel to a game/rehearsal that goes late.

OP your son sounds like he’s doing the schedule that’s comfortable for him.

I keep hearing from parents of juniors and seniors who are annoyed because their kids won't even entertain the idea of a summer job. These are really successful (on paper) kids who have gone multiple summers sitting around while saying they're going to get a job, and they never do.

So I think your son is way ahead of the game. He might have ADHD and might not have a deep passion, but he is finding the energy to make constructive plans for his future. Yes, he is probably taking himself out of the running for a T20 school, but who cares? He has the executive functioning skills to do well at other colleges and seems motivated to be working. That's more than plenty of parents can say about their kids, and having a job at 25 is way more important than being willing to run after a ball or run a club. Don't worry!

My DS got in everywhere he applied with only one EC activity plus summer jobs. He wrote his essays about his various jobs.

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to answer from college admissions perspective only (because I agree that he seems like he’s made a great transition to high school and is doing well). A sport and an instrument is good on paper. He needs a community service thing, even if it’s monthly. And this summer or fall I’d take him on a low key college tour. It will seem more real and he’ll start to understand how he needs letter of recommendation and a leadership role someday.

I agree with this train of thought and would add: what is he passionate about? What does he want to study or learn more about? That may help guide his ECs. And explain to him that this is part of college admissions. He doesn’t need to do anything more but it may limit his options.

I’m going to answer from college admissions perspective only (because I agree that he seems like he’s made a great transition to high school and is doing well). A sport and an instrument is good on paper. He needs a community service thing, even if it’s monthly. And this summer or fall I’d take him on a low key college tour. It will seem more real and he’ll start to understand how he needs letter of recommendation and a leadership role someday.

I say let him be, mostly. Can you work with him to find a volunteer opportunity for the weekend?

Honestly if your child doesn’t want to or isn’t motivated to do extra curricular activities, forcing him or medicating them didn’t work for me. My son 15, has adhd I tried medicating him but it lowered his energy levels to the point where he’d just do school work and would take naps when he got home. I’d advise against medication since the medication can cause energy and mood changes which are detrimental to your kid’s willingness to do anything.

Freshman year is like this for a lot of kids. He's getting his bearings and figuring out what he can do and what he enjoys. I think he's in a perfect place. Colleges are not going to care what you did freshman year at all.

I mostly don’t see a problem but might see if there’s any club he would be interested in at all, at school? Anything his friends are also doing?

He sounds great! I'd be thrilled of my similar DS is in this kind of shape next year.

I would let it be. My ADHD freshman son was the same, except that he is doing a spring cut sport. He is just exhausted and having trouble keeping up with schoolwork now.