Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks a lot for the suggestions and replies.

It's kind of an unpleasant situation because this was supposed to be our last "temporary" stop before he finds tenure as an academic. He has yet to receive an offer for a tenure-track job though. He is going to apply for some grants that will buy him more time but will likely place him in a new country (neither the US nor our current one). If it comes down to that, I think I'll return to the US and start over.

To make matters worse, I have FINALLY had interviews but I will not have the right to work once he leaves. I feel like I'm waiting to live.

You both have a right to pursue careers that bring you a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

What if you found a job in, say, NYC, D.C., LA, Boston, Seattle (i.e. someplace culturally rich) and your husband were to spend winter and summer breaks together, with you taking vacation time in the summer to meet him if he happens to be doing a fellowship somewhere cool?

If you otherwise love this person, you can find a way to have both a great relationship and a satisfying career if you think out of the box.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks a lot for the suggestions and replies.

It's kind of an unpleasant situation because this was supposed to be our last "temporary" stop before he finds tenure as an academic. He has yet to receive an offer for a tenure-track job though. He is going to apply for some grants that will buy him more time but will likely place him in a new country (neither the US nor our current one). If it comes down to that, I think I'll return to the US and start over.

To make matters worse, I have FINALLY had interviews but I will not have the right to work once he leaves. I feel like I'm waiting to live.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I just don't love him anymore. I move abroad to support his career a couple of years ago, and I have been struggling with long-term unemployment. I feel a lot of resentment. This is only supposed to be a temporary stepping stone for his career, but I'm at my wits' end. We still have over a year left here.

I feel sad and lonely. I don't fit in with the local culture (which is not particularly inviting to foreigners) and I don't fit in well with the expat groups (most tend to be a bit older with kids, and much wealthier than we are -- also a lot of toxicity complaining about the locals). I took some language classes and I've worked in some crappy temp jobs, but my life still feels really empty. I take care of myself pretty well at least, but have nothing else going for me, nothing to look forward to anymore. It's very hard to see him flourish in his career.

Has anyone been there?

About this part in bold - OP?

Please don’t let this go. While you are there, please let the other expats know their toxic comments about the local people are toxic and unwelcome. Let them know they really need to do better.

TIA!

Anonymous wrote:

Wherever you go, there you are…

Anonymous wrote:I think I just don't love him anymore. I move abroad to support his career a couple of years ago, and I have been struggling with long-term unemployment. I feel a lot of resentment. This is only supposed to be a temporary stepping stone for his career, but I'm at my wits' end. We still have over a year left here.

I feel sad and lonely. I don't fit in with the local culture (which is not particularly inviting to foreigners) and I don't fit in well with the expat groups (most tend to be a bit older with kids, and much wealthier than we are -- also a lot of toxicity complaining about the locals). I took some language classes and I've worked in some crappy temp jobs, but my life still feels really empty. I take care of myself pretty well at least, but have nothing else going for me, nothing to look forward to anymore. It's very hard to see him flourish in his career.

Has anyone been there?

Anonymous wrote:I think I just don't love him anymore. I move abroad to support his career a couple of years ago, and I have been struggling with long-term unemployment. I feel a lot of resentment. This is only supposed to be a temporary stepping stone for his career, but I'm at my wits' end. We still have over a year left here.

I feel sad and lonely. I don't fit in with the local culture (which is not particularly inviting to foreigners) and I don't fit in well with the expat groups (most tend to be a bit older with kids, and much wealthier than we are -- also a lot of toxicity complaining about the locals). I took some language classes and I've worked in some crappy temp jobs, but my life still feels really empty. I take care of myself pretty well at least, but have nothing else going for me, nothing to look forward to anymore. It's very hard to see him flourish in his career.

Has anyone been there?