Anonymous
04/07/2024 12:15
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm feeling that way. Can't wait to be an empty nester. Just changed at work to a less stressful, but more interesting, job, at same salary, which has helped.
This is my quote. 1 month after I'm just exhausted. Think I have the flu, trying to rest. Felt better and went into work for a little bit. It probably wasn't a good idea. 10 weeks until the school year ends. Youngest is going to stop doing most sports out of school when the spring season ends. Going on a lot of college tours for oldest. Have a destination wedding coming up. Got to skip wedding shower today, because I wasn't feeling well. Having a tough time, so exhausted. I do 99% of cooking and laundry, 95% of cleaning. DH and I food shop together. Have a cleaning person, but she comes quarterly and DH only allows it if I'm home. I only get WFH 2x per month. Just really struggling. Switched jobs and instead of being overwhelmed at work, I'm overwhelmed at home.
I think you might be depressed or have some other underlying health issue. You sound very hopeless here. Think about getting some help - maybe therapist, maybe trip to GYN or PCP - so you can enjoy these important years with your kids. Also, lower the bar for yourself on the house. People who think it's super easy to suddenly have your teenagers take over the chores have more energy than you do right now. I would have this be a longer term goal.
Anonymous
04/07/2024 10:37
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
Anonymous wrote:I feel so stressed and overwhelmed even vacations feel like chores. Kids want to go away this spring, we will likely do an amusement park and college tour...I have inus 100 desire to go. I get almost no time off and I am exhausted from the grind of work and all the teen stress. Is it just me?
I've been there. Our modern economy is exhausting.
Try to make the kids plan the college trip. Or post in the college forum, and ask others to lay it out for you. You will get helped - I've seen and responded to such posts.
Maybe do an indoor water park instead of a pure amusement park. Floating/'splashing in a warm pool might help you relax. Cedar Point in Ohio has Kalahari. I think Hershey Park has one.
My husband and I have trouble planning vacations calmly - it makes our kids want to stay home. But we all have fun once they are underway.
See if you can find some help to just keep getting by! And on the health side, try to get outdoors/get some sun, get some exercise, and get more sleep. That's all we can do, really.
Anonymous
04/07/2024 10:24
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
As a similar aged mom with aging parents and kid still at home-my advice is to hire out whatever you can!
Start with cleaning. Too bad for dh if he only 'allows' it occasionally. You need weekly. Simplify cooking/menus. Some people find a rotating menu easier, like say, every monday we have chicken and broccoli (for example). If dh or kids get bored with that, they are free to plan and cook the day's meal : )
Can you skip the destination wedding? Probably need to do the college tours, I would just do that and enjoy the time at the amusement parks with the kids. Busch Gardens Tampa is not super huge and has air conditioned places to sit/rest/see shows.
Also, get a complete medical workup. Check thyroid, blood sugar, vitamins b and d, all that stuff. At this point in our lives, sometimes things change and we don't know.
Start with cleaning. Too bad for dh if he only 'allows' it occasionally. You need weekly. Simplify cooking/menus. Some people find a rotating menu easier, like say, every monday we have chicken and broccoli (for example). If dh or kids get bored with that, they are free to plan and cook the day's meal : )
Can you skip the destination wedding? Probably need to do the college tours, I would just do that and enjoy the time at the amusement parks with the kids. Busch Gardens Tampa is not super huge and has air conditioned places to sit/rest/see shows.
Also, get a complete medical workup. Check thyroid, blood sugar, vitamins b and d, all that stuff. At this point in our lives, sometimes things change and we don't know.
Anonymous
04/07/2024 08:42
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm feeling that way. Can't wait to be an empty nester. Just changed at work to a less stressful, but more interesting, job, at same salary, which has helped.
This is my quote. 1 month after I'm just exhausted. Think I have the flu, trying to rest. Felt better and went into work for a little bit. It probably wasn't a good idea. 10 weeks until the school year ends. Youngest is going to stop doing most sports out of school when the spring season ends. Going on a lot of college tours for oldest. Have a destination wedding coming up. Got to skip wedding shower today, because I wasn't feeling well. Having a tough time, so exhausted. I do 99% of cooking and laundry, 95% of cleaning. DH and I food shop together. Have a cleaning person, but she comes quarterly and DH only allows it if I'm home. I only get WFH 2x per month. Just really struggling. Switched jobs and instead of being overwhelmed at work, I'm overwhelmed at home.
Why do you do 95% of the cleaning when you have two teenagers? My kid has been doing laundry since 6 th grade. Your kids are household members they need to do their part. I grew up with entire family cleaning while listening to music plus my few weekday chores.
Anonymous
04/07/2024 08:39
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This sounds like burnout. Something inside you is crying “enough.” It’s really important information.
What would feel like freedom right now? Leave the realm of rational thought, and check in with your gut. What is your gut saying you need?
I’m sorry you are feeling this way.
I want to have NOTHING to do on a Saturday, nobody asking me for anything, nothing on my mind, no chores I must do now or I won't have time. I want to sleep very well, all night, every night and not wake up at 6 having to think of others the minute I am up.
What is there to think about in the am.
Kids get up, get ready and get breakfast.
What exactly are you doing?
I feed the dog, walk the dog, feed the cats, make breakfast. There is always someone complaining about something, or who lost something, or who needs to be reminded about something. Even if I don't help with it, it starts my day on that note. Then I have an hour to get ready and clean the house and do whatever chores before I work. None of this is huge, I realize that. I am functioning on low battery and it is a lot for me.
The kids need to be responsible for the pets and have other household chores, cleaning kitchen after dinner, dusting once a week vacuuming, whatever. And don’t say they have school and activities, you and your spouse have jobs and kids, SAME DIFFERENCE!
And participating in household responsibilities is a hugely important lesson kids need to learn on so many levels.
Anonymous
04/06/2024 21:23
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm feeling that way. Can't wait to be an empty nester. Just changed at work to a less stressful, but more interesting, job, at same salary, which has helped.
This is my quote. 1 month after I'm just exhausted. Think I have the flu, trying to rest. Felt better and went into work for a little bit. It probably wasn't a good idea. 10 weeks until the school year ends. Youngest is going to stop doing most sports out of school when the spring season ends. Going on a lot of college tours for oldest. Have a destination wedding coming up. Got to skip wedding shower today, because I wasn't feeling well. Having a tough time, so exhausted. I do 99% of cooking and laundry, 95% of cleaning. DH and I food shop together. Have a cleaning person, but she comes quarterly and DH only allows it if I'm home. I only get WFH 2x per month. Just really struggling. Switched jobs and instead of being overwhelmed at work, I'm overwhelmed at home.
Anonymous
03/05/2024 18:53
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
Yes, I'm feeling that way. Can't wait to be an empty nester. Just changed at work to a less stressful, but more interesting, job, at same salary, which has helped.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 22:14
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
The kids are looking at colleges?
In college who will make lists and see nothing is forgotten? Who will make beds, do laundry? They will. Time to practice
They can fix own brekkies. Feed animals. You can relax walking dog.
In college who will make lists and see nothing is forgotten? Who will make beds, do laundry? They will. Time to practice
They can fix own brekkies. Feed animals. You can relax walking dog.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 21:50
Subject: Re:Overwhelmed all the time
My husband handles all travel plan details. He says it’s like planning the Normandy invasion but he is really good at it. I’m so thankful because I couldn’t do it so I just go along for the ride.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 17:33
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
I think you should ask DH to take the kids on the spring break trip while you stay home to recuperate. They should stay away as long as possible.
You should get your teens to do those chores (taking care of the pets) and teach them how to do almost all the chores.
I’m anemic a kind that can’t be fixed by iron supplements) and that’s how I’ve survived.
You should get your teens to do those chores (taking care of the pets) and teach them how to do almost all the chores.
I’m anemic a kind that can’t be fixed by iron supplements) and that’s how I’ve survived.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 17:24
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Colleges where...give info and have others suggest your itinerary.
Midwest? Go to Cedar Point in Sandusky.
Heading north...HersheyPark on outbound leg?
You take the car and go to day spa while they go to amusement park.
UCF and USF and Busch Gardens. I know what we are doing. I just don't want to go. It's just for the kids.
I've been where you are... the people who make it sound like you just have to do x,y, and z and (duh!) all your problems will be solved are not helpful right now. There are no easy answers.
The trip is just a symptom of a bigger issue - your declining health and shrinking bandwidth. I would suggest going to the doctor because it could there could be easy things that get you feeling a little more energetic - like addressing vitamin d or b insufficiencies. Is there any way to cut back on your work responsibilities? Any way to drop the rope on kids' activities? People say teenagers are less work than little kids, but their problems can be bigger and the stakes feel higher. Regardless, it sounds like you need to figure out a way to re-charge your battery or you will get more and more depleted. Eventually, your body will make you stop.
Think about what gives you peace or rest and try and build that in - make it sacred and important. It is really hard to be at your life stage. I'm sorry you are having such a tough time right now.
Thank you. I think my job is a big part of it. I used to work just 6 hours a day and it was just so much better than it is now, I could go for a walk, have time to do more. My current job is a contract job so it is finite, ending in a year. I am pushing myself to just do it to save. Same with my kids, there is not much time with them both at home, so I am pushing myself. I just find it very hard.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 17:13
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Colleges where...give info and have others suggest your itinerary.
Midwest? Go to Cedar Point in Sandusky.
Heading north...HersheyPark on outbound leg?
You take the car and go to day spa while they go to amusement park.
UCF and USF and Busch Gardens. I know what we are doing. I just don't want to go. It's just for the kids.
I've been where you are... the people who make it sound like you just have to do x,y, and z and (duh!) all your problems will be solved are not helpful right now. There are no easy answers.
The trip is just a symptom of a bigger issue - your declining health and shrinking bandwidth. I would suggest going to the doctor because it could there could be easy things that get you feeling a little more energetic - like addressing vitamin d or b insufficiencies. Is there any way to cut back on your work responsibilities? Any way to drop the rope on kids' activities? People say teenagers are less work than little kids, but their problems can be bigger and the stakes feel higher. Regardless, it sounds like you need to figure out a way to re-charge your battery or you will get more and more depleted. Eventually, your body will make you stop.
Think about what gives you peace or rest and try and build that in - make it sacred and important. It is really hard to be at your life stage. I'm sorry you are having such a tough time right now.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 15:15
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
Anonymous wrote:Colleges where...give info and have others suggest your itinerary.
Midwest? Go to Cedar Point in Sandusky.
Heading north...HersheyPark on outbound leg?
You take the car and go to day spa while they go to amusement park.
UCF and USF and Busch Gardens. I know what we are doing. I just don't want to go. It's just for the kids.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 14:42
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
Colleges where...give info and have others suggest your itinerary.
Midwest? Go to Cedar Point in Sandusky.
Heading north...HersheyPark on outbound leg?
You take the car and go to day spa while they go to amusement park.
Midwest? Go to Cedar Point in Sandusky.
Heading north...HersheyPark on outbound leg?
You take the car and go to day spa while they go to amusement park.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 14:37
Subject: Overwhelmed all the time
Amusement parks are exhausting especially in the summer when it is so hot and crowded. I'd choose a more relaxing vacation.