I read to the kids every night before bed.
You could watch a show in the 30 mins you say you have before bedtime if you want or take a walk or shoot hoops then after DST.

Kids can help you cook dinner if you want to get in baking or they can do an art project at the table while you’re cooking.

You can do everything - but not all at once. I’m not really trying to do too much on weeknights. We have weekends for that.

I don't understand the people posting here about having ONE activity. It doesn't line up with people saying:

-Elementary boys needs to be in sports to keep friends and be involved
-Everyone needs swim lessons for safety!
-We are supplementing Beast Academy / Russian Math / Mathnasium, aren't you?

If you have your kid in ONE activity, what is it? And when do you plan to encourage more or give permission for additional activities?

I agree it is hard and I only have one kid. Team sports and private instrument lessons both take up a LOT of time and effort. If you look at the weekdays, there really isn't much time between school dismissal and bedtime. Add an hour of sports (+ time to get gear + time driving to and from) and 30 minutes of instrument practice and dinner and... that's kind of the day.

At a certain point and for sanity's sake, you may have to get your kids to choose which activities are most important to them. Or perhaps move to rec/skills class for sports and keep doing instrument. I don't know... no answers, just empathy and solidarity!

The preschooler needs an earlier bedtime. You and DH need to get up earlier.

Anonymous wrote:Too many activities, my kids do one activity on weekdays and one on the weekend (2 total per week) and that’s enough.

This.

We have lots of time in the evenings. Home by 5pm, dinner at 5:30/45pm, afterwards we clean up a bit. Then we play games or hang out etc until about 7pm. Younger one showers and is in bed around 7:45 and older one does more reading or HW and is in bed around 8:45pm.

Anonymous wrote:We all get up by 6:30. Instrument practice and some hw happens in the am. My oldest has 4 activities a week right now and only for like 2 months then we will scale back. But its either activities or aftercare. Youngest has 1 activity. We cook for 2 days ahead and they help sometimes when its not too much of a rush. Sundays are for baking and library etc qnd we dont schedule much then. I WOH and do errands and dh is WFH and takes care of all the laundry during the day.

This is crazy

We all get up by 6:30. Instrument practice and some hw happens in the am. My oldest has 4 activities a week right now and only for like 2 months then we will scale back. But its either activities or aftercare. Youngest has 1 activity. We cook for 2 days ahead and they help sometimes when its not too much of a rush. Sundays are for baking and library etc qnd we dont schedule much then. I WOH and do errands and dh is WFH and takes care of all the laundry during the day.

Anonymous wrote:Can either of you move your schedule up earlier since you work from home? That is the number one way we do it. I realize it requires flexible jobs but it sounds like you may have that so thought I’d share. We stagger our schedules, I work 7:30-3:30/4 (our kids wake up early though so I have an hour to hour and a half with them in the morning). Husband does drop off and works 9-4 and then does work each evening after bed. I don’t know how he does it but it works for him and us.

We pick the kids up early and have found it makes a huge difference in our family life. We also so far only do one activity at a time that will impact weekdays. I try to fill in other things they might be interested in and want to try with summer camps and then we prioritize based on what they realllly express interest in.

I will add that I know you said you don’t think it is too much activity, you also mentioned after school activities. So it sounds like your elementary schooler is in activities at school right after (understandably for child care) and then also has a sport 2x a week and instrument 2-3 times a week? The combo of after school activities plus additional is getting you. Instrument 2-3 times a week is a lot for an elementary schooler. 30 min lesson 1x a week seems more typical to me.

Anyway it’s really hard, I totally get it. It’s hard to find the balance but if those things are important to you (which research supports having more downtime unstructured time at home is really good for kids!) then you have to be kind of aggressive in realllly considering each activity you add. The other thing we do is we try to protect Sundays as much as possible. Doesn’t have to be solely family time, we see friends too but we think really hard about saying yes to things on Sundays that take away from family time or relaxed unstructured time. Sundays are the day I bake with the kids most often for example

I have the opposite problem- too much free time to fill. Wake up is 7:30 or 8. We live very close to school and really need only 20 minutes to get out the door.
Ones activity three times a week right after school in aftercare. It gives me extra hour.
Most weekends are spent at relatives with cousins/ step-sibling.

Do you work on weekends? If not, that’s the time to do stuff like that.

I get less sleep than you
Plus you have weekends

Can either of you move your schedule up earlier since you work from home? That is the number one way we do it. I realize it requires flexible jobs but it sounds like you may have that so thought I’d share. We stagger our schedules, I work 7:30-3:30/4 (our kids wake up early though so I have an hour to hour and a half with them in the morning). Husband does drop off and works 9-4 and then does work each evening after bed. I don’t know how he does it but it works for him and us.

We pick the kids up early and have found it makes a huge difference in our family life. We also so far only do one activity at a time that will impact weekdays. I try to fill in other things they might be interested in and want to try with summer camps and then we prioritize based on what they realllly express interest in.

Anonymous wrote:You don’t. Not too many activities.

It's not even that many activities (1 sport, 1 instrument) IMO, but it's too bad that people have to do all of those extracurriculars outside of school time. At our ES, band/orchestra is only 1 hour per week, so if they want to get better at an instrument, they need an extra lesson.

With WFH you have a *huge* leg up. Are you and DH being efficient during breaks? Between the two of you, should be able to cover a lot of meal prep and laundry.

Don’t burden yourself with art projects or baking unless it is something you are particularly passionate about. They do art in school.

There is nothing wrong with your schedule, but that would be too much for me and my kids. They (my kids) need downtime. My elementary has a sport that practices one night a week and has a weekend game. Instruments will happen through school. Will they play in philharmonic? No. But they’ll read music, be part of a performing group, etc.

You have to make choices in life. You’re not going to magically find time if you’re out of the house every night.