Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say to your sister or niece or the aunt/uncle who are hosting the wedding again: what is the wedding date? Simple easy. If they don’t tell you and you therefore can’t get tickets and tickets wind up being too expensive if you wait til closer to get them then just…don’t go.

There is a date, I have it. I don't particularly want to involve my Aunt / Uncle in the drama because they already have low opinions of my sibling. In fact I have explicit instructions that when they die (they are childless) I am not to allow my sibling to attempt to pilfer their estate and to allow other family members to pick items of value that they want first.

If you know the date why are you asking your sister about the date?

Anonymous wrote:If I got that response I’d honestly think there was trouble in paradise. It seems like it’s alluding to “nothing is final until the invitations are in the mail.”

I think that's also a totally reasonable thing to think, but my sibling is always very evasive about stuff. So it's par for the course and not likely a reflection on my niece's wedding (she's been with this guy for almost 10 years).

If I got that response I’d honestly think there was trouble in paradise. It seems like it’s alluding to “nothing is final until the invitations are in the mail.”

Anonymous wrote:Just say to your sister or niece or the aunt/uncle who are hosting the wedding again: what is the wedding date? Simple easy. If they don’t tell you and you therefore can’t get tickets and tickets wind up being too expensive if you wait til closer to get them then just…don’t go.

There is a date, I have it. I don't particularly want to involve my Aunt / Uncle in the drama because they already have low opinions of my sibling. In fact I have explicit instructions that when they die (they are childless) I am not to allow my sibling to attempt to pilfer their estate and to allow other family members to pick items of value that they want first.

Why don’t you ask the aunt/uncle whose property the wedding is at? They must know the date if they’re hosting the event.

So your sister is weird and rude/inconsiderate. Ask your niece directly what is the wedding date. It is not a bother to ask this of a bride. If she says “we don’t know yet” then just say “ok thanks.” And don’t reply further. But I think the more direct you are the better. Don’t say anything about ticket prices or how inconvenient it is or whatever. Just simply say “what is the wedding date” and see what happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some whackadoo responses in this thread. Are they all from the same person?

The OPs question was not unreasonable and the sister’s response was weird.

There’s obviously other issues in the family…

Yeah and I'm venting because I'm probably the only attendee flying across the country and it's not like I'm a rando person and I don't even get a real response to a totally reasonable question.

Just say to your sister or niece or the aunt/uncle who are hosting the wedding again: what is the wedding date? Simple easy. If they don’t tell you and you therefore can’t get tickets and tickets wind up being too expensive if you wait til closer to get them then just…don’t go.

Anonymous wrote:There are some whackadoo responses in this thread. Are they all from the same person?

The OPs question was not unreasonable and the sister’s response was weird.

There’s obviously other issues in the family…

Anonymous wrote:
I've reread the OP and nowhere does it explain that the date is actually chosen. I read it to mean that the sister did not know the date, and that perhaps the niece hadn't picked one yet.

Considering the date is only 4 months away, the sister is quite rude.

But even if the date wasn't set, why not say that?

That's what I don't get about the rude response. I don't actually have confirmation of the date because I'm hearing this through my parents and not them.

My parents were even last to know as when they found out they reached out to my Aunt & Uncle who already knew since the wedding is at their house.

My parents only know because my sister asked them for addresses and they asked why she needed addresses. Seriously, I can't explain how weird my sister is about stuff.

I've reread the OP and nowhere does it explain that the date is actually chosen. I read it to mean that the sister did not know the date, and that perhaps the niece hadn't picked one yet.

Considering the date is only 4 months away, the sister is quite rude.

There are some whackadoo responses in this thread. Are they all from the same person?

The OPs question was not unreasonable and the sister’s response was weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How exactly is your sister supposed to respond if her daughter hasn't decided on a date?

See, but that would have been a valid response to my question. Date isn't set yet. That wasn't the response.

They have the date secured with my Aunt and have addresses to send the invites. But, apparently, I can't get that answer until the mail arrives.

Why didn't you say so in your first post, then? It's the most important piece of information. Otherwise we just think you're crazy.

Call the niece, just as you planned. Your sister is probably stressed out. Or maybe she just doesn't like you.

...that was the title of my post (the response...)

Anonymous wrote:
If I was the niece stressed out about wedding planning, and my aunt pressured me into picking a date because she could get cheap flights... it would send my anxiety levels through the roof. And I wouldn't find you very nice.

Unless the proposed date was coming up very shortly, of course. You know what dates they're considering?

Date is less than 4 months away. As far as I know there isn't a debate, there is a date and my sister won't confirm yes or no knowing that we have to buy tickets to fly across the country.

Literally, we have now 5 weddings this summer and we've know about all the other much more close ones (despite no invitations) for months.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How exactly is your sister supposed to respond if her daughter hasn't decided on a date?

See, but that would have been a valid response to my question. Date isn't set yet. That wasn't the response.

They have the date secured with my Aunt and have addresses to send the invites. But, apparently, I can't get that answer until the mail arrives.

Why didn't you say so in your first post, then? It's the most important piece of information. Otherwise we just think you're crazy.

Call the niece, just as you planned. Your sister is probably stressed out. Or maybe she just doesn't like you.