OP again and this isn't a discussion on whether I let her date or not, I just need help in supporting my daughter with this. Some of these suggestions are great.

Anonymous wrote:Ha. My 12 year old has a ‘girlfriend’. Their relationship appears to consist entirely of very vanilla texts. They are both happy with this. I think it’s hysterical and very middle school. I’m not about to encourage anything further.

This is what I also heard is the new “dating”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most young teens aren't dating. I think 13 is too young to be dating.

And certainly too young to be worried about “fitting dating into their busy schedules.” What in the fresh hell?

They really aren’t dating. From what I heard, they just say they are going out but might text each other or eat lunch at the same table. It’s not really dating. Some don’t even hang out. It’s different now.

According to my middle schooler there are some "couples" in their grade. Seems to mainly consist of texting and talking at school. I did hear that one "couple" had a date that involved going to the local Starbucks after school and hanging at the nearby park. Overall seems very harmless and age appropriate. I asked if anyone was kissing and got an "eww no" response from my kid. I don't think there's anything wrong with OP's question.

Anonymous wrote:This is so odd.

OP's kid does not have female friends and she is encouraging her to have a dating life at age 13.
OP, you should be doing things to assist your daughter with developing friendship, not a love life.


This is one of the more bizarre posts I've read on DCUM, to be honest.

+1,000

Anonymous wrote:This is so odd.

OP's kid does not have female friends and she is encouraging her to have a dating life at age 13.
OP, you should be doing things to assist your daughter with developing friendship, not a love life.


This is one of the more bizarre posts I've read on DCUM, to be honest.

Well they do live in Loudoun. That might explain it.

This is so odd.

OP's kid does not have female friends and she is encouraging her to have a dating life at age 13.
OP, you should be doing things to assist your daughter with developing friendship, not a love life.


This is one of the more bizarre posts I've read on DCUM, to be honest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most young teens aren't dating. I think 13 is too young to be dating.

And certainly too young to be worried about “fitting dating into their busy schedules.” What in the fresh hell?

+1

Most middle school kids get to 2nd base easily during after school clubs.

Whether they go on a date or not is irrelevant.

I didn’t date in middle or high school so am no authority, but I’m thinking they should do things they like to do and are interested in, and invite the other person. Could be a movie, book store, bowling, physical activity like skating or rock climbing gym. An activity is good becuase they don’t have to think of things to talk about the whole time. Group hang outs seem like they would be more fun and less pressure.

Anonymous wrote:This is so bizarre and gross to me. Why are you encouraging your child to do this?

This!!! I have a 13 year old boy and no way. Too soon.

Anonymous wrote:This is so bizarre and gross to me. Why are you encouraging your child to do this?

I’m not OP, but in my case I’m not encouraging it, but I’m also not forbidding it. My parents forbade dating, and my response was to date and lie to them about it. My daughter, on the other hand, talks to me about boys and dating and feels comfortable asking me for advice. She’s never alone with the kid and the big excitement last week was that she hugged him.

When I was 13 (way back in the late 80s) kids in my grade were “dating.” It’s not a new thing.

I don’t know why these are even called dates and not just friendships at this age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kinds of things would she like to do? Bowling? Trampoline park? Rock climbing? Trapeze school? Ice skating? Biking? Hiking? Movies?

These plus attending each other’s sporting events. And not really “dates” — more like hanging out in-person rather than electronically, which we have tried to encourage regardless of it’s a “love” interest.

Also, and not sure if it’s in your circle, but church is another option. Ours have used the opportunity to see and be exposed to a variety of faiths and observances, some that appealed to them, others that didn’t.

I’m sorry but I couldn’t help but chuckle at the suggestion of going to church for a date.

Like I know youth group type of stuff is popular even amongst the non-super religious kids..but not as a date. Maybe to meet potential dates?.. but not for an actual date! Omg!

Yes, sorry and yikes, I meant to imply more of church social events....but ours actually have been to a 'service' (older and more serious) as a 'date'. I don't get it (as I'm agnostic, at best) but it's a thing in their circle (and, no, ours aren't fundamental or evangelical).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most young teens aren't dating. I think 13 is too young to be dating.

And certainly too young to be worried about “fitting dating into their busy schedules.” What in the fresh hell?

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kinds of things would she like to do? Bowling? Trampoline park? Rock climbing? Trapeze school? Ice skating? Biking? Hiking? Movies?

These plus attending each other’s sporting events. And not really “dates” — more like hanging out in-person rather than electronically, which we have tried to encourage regardless of it’s a “love” interest.

Also, and not sure if it’s in your circle, but church is another option. Ours have used the opportunity to see and be exposed to a variety of faiths and observances, some that appealed to them, others that didn’t.

I’m sorry but I couldn’t help but chuckle at the suggestion of going to church for a date.

Like I know youth group type of stuff is popular even amongst the non-super religious kids..but not as a date. Maybe to meet potential dates?.. but not for an actual date! Omg!