OP, I am sending you a warm, gentle hug.

I’m also grieving a recent loss. All I can say is please be gentle and kind to yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For gods sake, she's your mother. You owe it to her to take care of her.

Did you miss the entire thread?

1. This is labelled explicitly a "vent"
More importantly, she DID and DOES take care of her mother. That's why she missed out on time with her now dead grandson -- because she WAS taking care of her mother instead.

Um she said she is overwhelmed with hatred for her mom, blames her for being ill, has zero sympathy, and beyond hatred said she is "thinking much worse"- wow I guess you wish she wasn't around?

Sorry this goes beyond a vent. Pure nastiness.

She is saying this from a place of grief of LOSING HER GRANDCHILD, YOU MORON. You are pure nastiness. To kick a grieving grandma while she’s down. You are pure evil. Not just nasty: evil.

That PP must be the horrible retired hospice nurse or the other individual who trolls this forum specifically to hurt people. Personality disorders are real.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am so sorry. I am so sorry for your loss. I am here to listen to anything you want to share, any thought you want to get out. I 100% understand why you need to think, feel, and voice these feelings, whether they are “right” or not. I promise, I personally will not argue, play devil’s advocate, or chastise you for any feeling you want to share.

For the purposes of this forum, I will sign as “Sally.” Others may try to talk you out of feeling your feelings, but I won’t. I will just listen, receive, and understand. Because you deserve to be heard right now.

-Sally

“Mavis” here. Everything Sally said. We are here for you.

Hi OP, Sally here. Just thinking of you and wishing you peace and comfort today. I’m here to listen, no judgment, no “fixing,” just here to receive.

OP, this too shall pass.
Your mom will die and you will have another grandchild. You are only 53.
Signed,
-someone who hated her mother and was glad she died and let us all live life, finally

My mom was the same way. She gave up being an adult though we did not entirely capitulate and give her the attention she wanted. I hated her for a long time after she died though that's now abated. When I think of her later in life it's not fondly. Maybe get your mom on an anti-depressant.

Im so sorry, op.

I’m so sorry. You are in crisis and this is coming from many directions.

Do you have any siblings who could take on some of this burden? Do you have a spouse who could step up a little to help? Can you afford to have someone help her more? Can you give yourself a break because you are doing too much.

Get into a grief group. You can vent there and also be supported by people who are in the same position as you are. It will help.

I’m so so sorry for your loss. This is heart wrenching and a lot to deal with. There are ways of getting support and it sounds like you need it. You deserve to also be helping yourself.

I’m sorry OP. Vent away here, you have many sympathies souls listening.

If you need to drop the rope with your mom at any point, know that you can. Tell her you are dealing with your own health issues (which you are).

I am so sorry for your loss - I can’t imagine what you are going through.
Please take care of yourself too.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am so sorry. I am so sorry for your loss. I am here to listen to anything you want to share, any thought you want to get out. I 100% understand why you need to think, feel, and voice these feelings, whether they are “right” or not. I promise, I personally will not argue, play devil’s advocate, or chastise you for any feeling you want to share.

For the purposes of this forum, I will sign as “Sally.” Others may try to talk you out of feeling your feelings, but I won’t. I will just listen, receive, and understand. Because you deserve to be heard right now.

-Sally

God bless you, Sally. You are a good person and I hope for your kindness to be repaid to you.

I honestly think if I were in your shoes, OP, I would tell my mother that we are now estranged and she is not to contact me any more. Take a good long break. If she dies in the interim, so be it. Death is inevitable.

Dear OP, you are a good daughter, mother and grandmother. It is hard to be good at all of them at the same time so your mother needs to take turns with the other family members.
Breathe in breathe out, you will get thru this with grace and fortitude.

I’m so sorry for your loss, OP, and I completely understand your anger and frustration. You clearly need and deserve a break from caring for your mother.

OP, I cannot imagine your grief. I am so sorry for your loss.