Anonymous
02/23/2024 16:07
Subject: I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When it takes months to get in to see your PCP
When therapists have waiting lists
When your husband knows you are struggling but ‘has’ to work a full day even when you are having suicidal thoughts, and ‘needs’ to attend a training meeting from the home office that same evening
When the doctors you actually can see don’t do jack for you
When
You
Did
Ask
For
Help
And were failed or diminished, time and again. It just makes it worse.
So it's your husband's fault?
Agree on this count. If he doesn’t go to work, how would bills and food expenses get paid. If he skipped out on work and the work meeting today, what is he supposed to do Monday? Next week? Next month? Someone needs to keep it together OP. I get that you are suffering, what are you choosing to do for yourself?
Anonymous
02/23/2024 15:30
Subject: I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:i wonder how many ppl are afraid to admit they have suicidal thoughts bc of what it could trigger in medical professional
OP here. I absolutely will not go to the hospital because of this. There’s a service in the hospital complex that I am considering, but it’s not the ER. But I’m even scared of that, even though someone I trust told me about it.
So you have options to get help, you know what they are, but you are afraid of them? You already have your tombstone epitaph picked out, but maybe it should read "too afraid to make the right choice" or "wanted someone else to be responsible for her well-being". Only you can do what's right for you. No one else knows what's going on in your minds. Obviously, depression is unhealthy, but you know that. You posted here. You can do something about it - you know you need to do something - yet you don't do anything....
Suck a gangrenous eggplant, pp. Long and hard.
Anonymous
02/23/2024 15:29
Subject: Re:I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Text "HOME" to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor. It's free.
https://www.crisistextline.org/resources/
https://www.crisistextline.org/resources/
Anonymous
02/23/2024 15:01
Subject: I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Mine will read "Another one Bites the Dust"
Anonymous
02/23/2024 14:59
Subject: I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:i wonder how many ppl are afraid to admit they have suicidal thoughts bc of what it could trigger in medical professional
OP here. I absolutely will not go to the hospital because of this. There’s a service in the hospital complex that I am considering, but it’s not the ER. But I’m even scared of that, even though someone I trust told me about it.
So you have options to get help, you know what they are, but you are afraid of them? You already have your tombstone epitaph picked out, but maybe it should read "too afraid to make the right choice" or "wanted someone else to be responsible for her well-being". Only you can do what's right for you. No one else knows what's going on in your minds. Obviously, depression is unhealthy, but you know that. You posted here. You can do something about it - you know you need to do something - yet you don't do anything....
Anonymous
02/23/2024 14:53
Subject: I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Anonymous wrote:When it takes months to get in to see your PCP
When therapists have waiting lists
When your husband knows you are struggling but ‘has’ to work a full day even when you are having suicidal thoughts, and ‘needs’ to attend a training meeting from the home office that same evening
When the doctors you actually can see don’t do jack for you
When
You
Did
Ask
For
Help
And were failed or diminished, time and again. It just makes it worse.
So it's your husband's fault?
Anonymous
02/23/2024 14:39
Subject: I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Mine should read:
"See? Those weren't panic attacks after all!"
"See? Those weren't panic attacks after all!"
Anonymous
02/23/2024 14:38
Subject: I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:i wonder how many ppl are afraid to admit they have suicidal thoughts bc of what it could trigger in medical professional
And in this area it can impact your clearance.
That stopped me before.
Do you know specifics about this? Because this is almost never true as long as you are honest about what is going on.
Anonymous
02/23/2024 14:37
Subject: I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Keep trying! Sending love!!!
Anonymous
02/23/2024 14:20
Subject: I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Anonymous wrote:i wonder how many ppl are afraid to admit they have suicidal thoughts bc of what it could trigger in medical professional
I regret mentioning it to a therapist, but I do recommend seeing a psychiatrist about antidepressants, it's changed my life in terms of how I react to things. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself the way you treat someone you love. I disagree that posting individual issues online might help...I mean it might but people can often be biased and cruel.
For me, I was always carrying fault for anything negative out of my control and I just wasn't being fair to myself.
Anonymous
02/23/2024 14:09
Subject: I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:i wonder how many ppl are afraid to admit they have suicidal thoughts bc of what it could trigger in medical professional
And in this area it can impact your clearance.
That stopped me before.
This is why the practice I am part of doesn't take insurance at all. We can always tell which clients have clearance because they pay cash. No cc or paper trail.
Absolutely ridiculous in 2024 with as much as we know about mental health that people still have to hide their struggles.
Anonymous
02/23/2024 13:51
Subject: Re:I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have been there OP. It's maddening. Keep asking.
I had luck finding a therapist covered by my insurance via this service: https://www.joinuplift.com. My therapist is not perfect but just talking to someone on a regular basis has had a noticeable impact. Especially when I was feeling very unsupported by my spouse. It got me from one week to the next.
I've also heard of people having similar benefits from one of the online apps like Better Help. They are pricier and often not covered by insurance but if you are really struggle, it could just be a place to start.
You might also think outside the box and just try to do something over the next few days that would make you feel good -- a massage, flotation therapy, a yoga class, etc. It won't cure you but just doing something for yourself, especially something that addresses the mind-body connection, can give you that emotional release you definitely need.
Good luck to you. I'll be thinking about you. Please come back and let us know how it's going soon, even if it's no better or has gotten worse. You are not alone.
OP here. Your last lines made me cry, but in a good way. Thank you. I will, I will try.
PP here. Sending you a virtual hug. In this particular battle, trying is succeeding, I've found. Keep trying! Love to you.
Anonymous
02/23/2024 13:50
Subject: Re:I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
I have not used any of the services in the article but I actually did try to set up an AI bot using ChatGPT who would give me validation and cheerleading as a form of "therapy" (I know that's not what therapy is, but I didn't expect AI to be able to provide actual therapy so validation/cheerleading seemed like an achievable goal). I actually got the idea from this forum.
It didn't really work but I actually think the act of trying to train the AI to give me what I needed was a useful exercise. I wound up getting real therapy within a couple months of starting with the ChatGPT fake therapy.
I think when you are really struggling, almost anything that feels like momentum is progress. Just the act of trying to get better, even in weird and not effective ways, is a sign that some part of you *wants* to get better, and revealing that to yourself is useful when you are feeling hopeless.
Anonymous
02/23/2024 13:43
Subject: I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
Hi. I don't know a lot about this kind of care but know to stay away from ERs in case somehow for insurance you get surprise bills.
Do you think it would help if you separated your concerns and sources of sadness into separate topics and posted several here? I know there's a wide range of people here from super helpful to meanies. But if you're here anyway and can handle the random toxic comments, maybe you can crowdsource some advice bit by bit for your "overcoming sadness to-do list"?
I'm really sympathetic to you. Our modern economy can be very inhumane.
Do you think it would help if you separated your concerns and sources of sadness into separate topics and posted several here? I know there's a wide range of people here from super helpful to meanies. But if you're here anyway and can handle the random toxic comments, maybe you can crowdsource some advice bit by bit for your "overcoming sadness to-do list"?
I'm really sympathetic to you. Our modern economy can be very inhumane.
Anonymous
02/23/2024 13:41
Subject: Re:I want my tombstone to read, ‘She Asked for Help’
I've used Better Health before and its great. I struggle opening up to strangers and the ability to do therapy via messaging was incredibly helpful.