Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting ready to return to work after maternity leave. We have a three-year-old and a six month old. I have to leave for work at 7, their daycare/preschool opens at 8, husband will do all morning drop offs. The baby will only be going two days a week for now on the days my husband works in the office. But he’ll have to bring her along for drop off the other days too.

My husband is extremely capable and did toddler drop off solo for a year. I’m the one having a bit of anxiety over how he’ll manage getting two kids out the door by himself and get to the office on time.

Any tips or suggestions? We already make sure lunch is made and toddler’s stuff is ready to go the night before. Will do the same for the baby.

Where is the 6 month old on the other three days? As for the rest. It appears that your DC is doing everything, so what"s your problem?

She’ll be home, just has to go along for the ride to my son’s drop off.

No problem, I just like to be proactive so we don’t have them. And yes my husband is doing everything but I like to help prepare so that he CAN do everything. If the roles were reversed people would be up in arms that the husband wasn’t doing more to help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bath the night before.
Layout clothes for next day.
Pack diaper bag/backpack night before.
Shower before they wake.
Wake and dress toddler 1st, give breakfast.
Wake and dress infant 2nd, give them a bottle or whatever.
Start car to warm up, put everything in car.
Put kids in car.

Starting the car ahead of time to warm it up is key for us, in the winter. We have a 2020-model minivan that we have to park on the driveway (can't easily fit it into the garage) and it takes a looooong time to get the ice off the car when it's really cold. I don't know if this is the case with all bigger cars, or if our defroster is particularly sluggish, but we have to budget an extra 5+ minutes on some mornings just to be able to clear the windshield and side windows of ice.

Unless your car is in a garage this is a good way to get your car stolen and locking it while it's running won't stop a try hirf.

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting ready to return to work after maternity leave. We have a three-year-old and a six month old. I have to leave for work at 7, their daycare/preschool opens at 8, husband will do all morning drop offs. The baby will only be going two days a week for now on the days my husband works in the office. But he’ll have to bring her along for drop off the other days too.

My husband is extremely capable and did toddler drop off solo for a year. I’m the one having a bit of anxiety over how he’ll manage getting two kids out the door by himself and get to the office on time.

Any tips or suggestions? We already make sure lunch is made and toddler’s stuff is ready to go the night before. Will do the same for the baby.

Where is the 6 month old on the other three days? As for the rest. It appears that your DC is doing everything, so what"s your problem?

Anonymous wrote:Bath the night before.
Layout clothes for next day.
Pack diaper bag/backpack night before.
Shower before they wake.
Wake and dress toddler 1st, give breakfast.
Wake and dress infant 2nd, give them a bottle or whatever.
Start car to warm up, put everything in car.
Put kids in car.

Starting the car ahead of time to warm it up is key for us, in the winter. We have a 2020-model minivan that we have to park on the driveway (can't easily fit it into the garage) and it takes a looooong time to get the ice off the car when it's really cold. I don't know if this is the case with all bigger cars, or if our defroster is particularly sluggish, but we have to budget an extra 5+ minutes on some mornings just to be able to clear the windshield and side windows of ice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bath the night before.
Layout clothes for next day.
Pack diaper bag/backpack night before.
Shower before they wake.
Wake and dress toddler 1st, give breakfast.
Wake and dress infant 2nd, give them a bottle or whatever.
Start car to warm up, put everything in car.
Put kids in car.

This is perfect in my opinion. I have 2 kids, 2.5 and 9 months. As much prep work ahead of time so that way when the kids are up at 7 (they share a room, no way around that), all we have to do is change them and feed them something non messy. My husband will even dress them in their school clothes for to sleep in the night before if he is handling them solo in the AM

+2— This is perfect. It’ll get easier over time, but doing as much as you can ahead of time helps.

Anonymous wrote:If your DH has been doing toddler drop-off he is already in a routine and knows exactly what to do. You not knowing what to do is not a problem since it's not your responsibility. Your DH will be fine, no need to worry.

-mom of 5

He’s been doing toddler drop off but with me helping in the morning. Getting two kids dressed and fed solo seems like more work.

It will take a few weeks/month to get a routine down but he will be fine.

I am solo with a puppy and 3 kids every morning. I just make sure I wake up at least 45 mins before everybody to get lunches made, dog outside and fed and breakfast started. Its sometimes insane and sometimes everything goes smoothly. Every day will vary.

If your DH has been doing toddler drop-off he is already in a routine and knows exactly what to do. You not knowing what to do is not a problem since it's not your responsibility. Your DH will be fine, no need to worry.

-mom of 5

Anonymous wrote:Bath the night before.
Layout clothes for next day.
Pack diaper bag/backpack night before.
Shower before they wake.
Wake and dress toddler 1st, give breakfast.
Wake and dress infant 2nd, give them a bottle or whatever.
Start car to warm up, put everything in car.
Put kids in car.

This is perfect in my opinion. I have 2 kids, 2.5 and 9 months. As much prep work ahead of time so that way when the kids are up at 7 (they share a room, no way around that), all we have to do is change them and feed them something non messy. My husband will even dress them in their school clothes for to sleep in the night before if he is handling them solo in the AM

I did the drop offs while DH did pick ups as our schedules worked better that way.

Aside from getting everything organized the night before, and building in a comfortable time margin, there's no other trick. After a week or two you will get into a routine and it won't seem so daunting anymore.

Bath the night before.
Layout clothes for next day.
Pack diaper bag/backpack night before.
Shower before they wake.
Wake and dress toddler 1st, give breakfast.
Wake and dress infant 2nd, give them a bottle or whatever.
Start car to warm up, put everything in car.
Put kids in car.

I’ve always done two-kid drop off solo — kids now 2 and 4 and at different preschools. It’s not really that big a deal? Figure out a routine that gets everyone where they need to be at least 15 minutes early (unless you’re doing off right at opening, then 5 minutes early is probably best) so you have some wiggle room about the odd spectacular resistance to socks or last-minute blowouts and keep the routine consistent everyday. We pretty much never have meltdowns in the morning except when we’re travelling and I’m unusually stressed/the timing is different than usual.

Things that help me: I’m a morning person so I get up before the kids (usually around 5:30, kids up around 6/6:30, we’re out of the house by 7:30) and get some time to myself to chill so I’m prepared for the day; I don’t have any pauses or playtime built into the schedule so there’s not a lot making the kids resist; I actively involve them in all the getting out the door tasks (right now, 4yo delights in choosing her own clothes, both carry their breakfasts to the table and dishes back to the kitchen, etc). But I really think most of it is that I’m a morning person I’m pretty cheerful and happy in the mornings which makes them easier to manage. Now evenings, I’m happy to let someone else take the lead because I’m so done by 8PM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is the baby going on the days DH works from home? Is he going to attempt caring for a 6mo and work at the same time? This seems like a recipe for disaster.

Yes and no. He is off one day a week. His job is also non traditional in that a lot is evenings and just tasks he has to get done but doesn’t matter when. Not much needs to be done 9-5. When he first started the job he did it with a toddler while we were still finding childcare and his work was totally fine with it. Even when I was on maternity leave I had an emergency and he took a meeting while feeding a baby. Not a high pressure job. She’ll go full time when she’s around 1.

Then why does it matter how he gets out the door in the morning? If he has a job that apparently doesn’t care that he’s a SAHP, then he can do whatever he wants.

He’s not under any pressure to get the kids out the door. That is a completely different scenario than someone who might get fired if they don’t get to work on time. He can take his time and go out at 10AM or later. The stress comes from the rush- having to get to work on time. Why would he have any issue when he doesn’t have to rush to go anywhere?

Two days a week he is supposed to be in the office at 9. Will he get fired if he’s in at 9:15, no, but he is supposed to be there by 9 so he would like to be there. One day he has a 9:30 meeting so he has absolutely has to be there by then.

Not to mention the preschool doesn’t want the kid strolling in late. And it’s disruptive to the kid to miss school routines.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is the baby going on the days DH works from home? Is he going to attempt caring for a 6mo and work at the same time? This seems like a recipe for disaster.

Yes and no. He is off one day a week. His job is also non traditional in that a lot is evenings and just tasks he has to get done but doesn’t matter when. Not much needs to be done 9-5. When he first started the job he did it with a toddler while we were still finding childcare and his work was totally fine with it. Even when I was on maternity leave I had an emergency and he took a meeting while feeding a baby. Not a high pressure job. She’ll go full time when she’s around 1.

Then why does it matter how he gets out the door in the morning? If he has a job that apparently doesn’t care that he’s a SAHP, then he can do whatever he wants.

He’s not under any pressure to get the kids out the door. That is a completely different scenario than someone who might get fired if they don’t get to work on time. He can take his time and go out at 10AM or later. The stress comes from the rush- having to get to work on time. Why would he have any issue when he doesn’t have to rush to go anywhere?

Anonymous wrote:Where is the baby going on the days DH works from home? Is he going to attempt caring for a 6mo and work at the same time? This seems like a recipe for disaster.

Yes and no. He is off one day a week. His job is also non traditional in that a lot is evenings and just tasks he has to get done but doesn’t matter when. Not much needs to be done 9-5. When he first started the job he did it with a toddler while we were still finding childcare and his work was totally fine with it. Even when I was on maternity leave I had an emergency and he took a meeting while feeding a baby. Not a high pressure job. She’ll go full time when she’s around 1.