Anonymous wrote:I recently found out that my 13 YO DD was drinking at a friend's sleepover. I was outraged and took her phone away. Once I started going through her phone I realized this was not the first time it happened and there have been times when they snuck out, met up with boys, and did inappropriate sexual activities. Obviously she is grounded with no phone or outings for a very long time, but seeking advise as to what other disciplinary measures I should take. We've had many conversations that this was not appropriate behavior and she's too young for all of this. She seems truly sorry for her actions and realizes it was wrong.
Any advise on how we course correct and get her back on the right track? I am still in shock.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:That’s more like behavior of 16 year old. What the hell was op doing or not doing?
I hate to break it to you, but I’d say a large portion of the 14 year freshman at our daughters high school are engaging in the exact same behaviors.
Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes we are looking at other school options for next year. I realize I have failed as a parent, but hoping there is still time to get both of us back on track. I have an older special needs daughter who required a lot of my attention the past few years. It's not an excuse but it's been really hard.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:That’s more like behavior of 16 year old. What the hell was op doing or not doing?
I hate to break it to you, but I’d say a large portion of the 14 year freshman at our daughters high school are engaging in the exact same behaviors.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes we are looking at other school options for next year. I realize I have failed as a parent, but hoping there is still time to get both of us back on track. I have an older special needs daughter who required a lot of my attention the past few years. It's not an excuse but it's been really hard.
If you have an older special needs child, you knew how much care it took. You chose to bring into your life another child that you were aware that you couldn’t take care of. Why would you do that?
Unless there is a large age gap, it is likely that she wasn’t aware of the special needs of the older child when she had the younger one.
OP- PPs are being incredibly harsh and smug, wanting to believe that this would never be their kid. You now know what is going on, and it sounds like taking her phone and essentially grounding her is the right move.
I agree with finding and activity to keep her busy — though not sure you can just put a 13 YO into a sport that will keep them busy all the time unless they have been playing that sport for awhile and can play at a club/travel level.
Anonymous wrote:That’s more like behavior of 16 year old. What the hell was op doing or not doing?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes we are looking at other school options for next year. I realize I have failed as a parent, but hoping there is still time to get both of us back on track. I have an older special needs daughter who required a lot of my attention the past few years. It's not an excuse but it's been really hard.
If you have an older special needs child, you knew how much care it took. You chose to bring into your life another child that you were aware that you couldn’t take care of. Why would you do that?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes we are looking at other school options for next year. I realize I have failed as a parent, but hoping there is still time to get both of us back on track. I have an older special needs daughter who required a lot of my attention the past few years. It's not an excuse but it's been really hard.
If you have an older special needs child, you knew how much care it took. You chose to bring into your life another child that you were aware that you couldn’t take care of. Why would you do that?
Unless there is a large age gap, it is likely that she wasn’t aware of the special needs of the older child when she had the younger one.
OP- PPs are being incredibly harsh and smug, wanting to believe that this would never be their kid. You now know what is going on, and it sounds like taking her phone and essentially grounding her is the right move.
I agree with finding and activity to keep her busy — though not sure you can just put a 13 YO into a sport that will keep them busy all the time unless they have been playing that sport for awhile and can play at a club/travel level.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes we are looking at other school options for next year. I realize I have failed as a parent, but hoping there is still time to get both of us back on track. I have an older special needs daughter who required a lot of my attention the past few years. It's not an excuse but it's been really hard.
If you have an older special needs child, you knew how much care it took. You chose to bring into your life another child that you were aware that you couldn’t take care of. Why would you do that?
Unless there is a large age gap, it is likely that she wasn’t aware of the special needs of the older child when she had the younger one.
OP- PPs are being incredibly harsh and smug, wanting to believe that this would never be their kid. You now know what is going on, and it sounds like taking her phone and essentially grounding her is the right move.
I agree with finding and activity to keep her busy — though not sure you can just put a 13 YO into a sport that will keep them busy all the time unless they have been playing that sport for awhile and can play at a club/travel level.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes we are looking at other school options for next year. I realize I have failed as a parent, but hoping there is still time to get both of us back on track. I have an older special needs daughter who required a lot of my attention the past few years. It's not an excuse but it's been really hard.
If you have an older special needs child, you knew how much care it took. You chose to bring into your life another child that you were aware that you couldn’t take care of. Why would you do that?
Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes we are looking at other school options for next year. I realize I have failed as a parent, but hoping there is still time to get both of us back on track. I have an older special needs daughter who required a lot of my attention the past few years. It's not an excuse but it's been really hard.
Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes we are looking at other school options for next year. I realize I have failed as a parent, but hoping there is still time to get both of us back on track. I have an older special needs daughter who required a lot of my attention the past few years. It's not an excuse but it's been really hard.