Anonymous wrote:Did anyone else read Michelle Singletary's article in the WAPO about her three young adult children who are still living at home - rent free? She claims they are saving for retirement, good grief. She has lost all credibility. I can't take her seriously.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2024/02/14/financial-cut-off-adult-children/

This is entirely consistent with her advice and columns. They aren't failure to launch. They are contributing to her home and saving money while working.

Anonymous wrote:You all are assuming the non-launched adult kids are saving the money they aren't paying in rent. That would be great if they are but I know of families where they aren't. Instead they spend way too much money on their car and their night life and are in for a rude shock if they ever do have to pay rent.

If I had this arrangement with my adult kid I would require proof that they are saving the money and if they aren't I would charge them rent.

+1

Often, the kids are:
-not motivated to further their education or even seek out skilled labor, because they do not have the motivation to seek a high paying job--since they are living at home, they do not feel the brunt of needing to pay for rent or a mortgage, utilities, etc.
And therefore, as part of a vicious circular cycle, the kids are
-not contributing in a meaningful to household expenses, because "well, I just can't afford to, because I don't make a lot of money at my job, it's tough out there" (however kid wouldn't consider getting two jobs, because that is seen as offensive these days to Gen Z)
-parent at home is a single mom to these boys who have not launched, but she is not going to do anything to alienate the only men in her life
-parent at home doesn't have an education and/or has never had a well paying job so doesn't know how to encourage the kids to get out there and advance beyond unskilled work, and subconsciously may think why should I encourage my kids to do something I didn't do, what does that say about me?

Ask me how I know...a sibling/aunt to a family like this, and I get asked for money all of the time.

This seems like a reasonable approach. I feel like she never gives advice from a place of empathy though. She turns me off about the Washington Post. It is always a. Don’t buy gifts b. Don’t go to the beach and c. Go to the University of Maryland College Park.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it seems like a reasonable and responsible set-up. Taking what she says at face value, they contribute to the household and are saving. I assume she lives in the DC area - rents are ridiculously high.

I find this set up a whole lot less off-putting than parents helping their adult MC kids with a down payment or daycare expenses.

I guess I feel the complete opposite. Parents helping with downpayments and daycare promotes independence and living on their own. It also lets their kids have the grandchildren quicker. Most people have no trouble paying the day to day expenses of kids but those daycare years are impossible. I pay 4k a month in daycare for my kids.

Anonymous wrote:You all are assuming the non-launched adult kids are saving the money they aren't paying in rent. That would be great if they are but I know of families where they aren't. Instead they spend way too much money on their car and their night life and are in for a rude shock if they ever do have to pay rent.

If I had this arrangement with my adult kid I would require proof that they are saving the money and if they aren't I would charge them rent.

Did you read the article? She is requiring proof. And will charge if they aren’t saving.

Anonymous wrote:Article from a year ago about her approach to her kids: https://wapo.st/3usvUxA

Thx for linking this. Idk that I will beg my kids to live at home but I want to let them know it’s an option if they want it and they’re full time employed and saving.

Article from a year ago about her approach to her kids: https://wapo.st/3usvUxA

Gifted: https://wapo.st/42JQKVz

As someone who grew up in a rural area and spent a ton of money in big cities in my 20s (yes, I had roommates, but I didn't make much during the great recession), I see that my friends and colleagues who were able to live at home near lots of good jobs had a huge leg up 10 years later. I would absolutely let my kids do this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still like her advice. I’m ok with her kids living at home.

It seems opposite to her advice for raising independent children. Advice for thee, not me.

I don’t see what advice it conflicts with that she’s given. I assume she’s taking all the steps she outlined in the article linked in the OP. I don’t think she ever gives advice that says your kids can’t live at home.

You all are assuming the non-launched adult kids are saving the money they aren't paying in rent. That would be great if they are but I know of families where they aren't. Instead they spend way too much money on their car and their night life and are in for a rude shock if they ever do have to pay rent.

If I had this arrangement with my adult kid I would require proof that they are saving the money and if they aren't I would charge them rent.

Anonymous wrote:I lived with my parents for 6 months after getting my first job our of college ($65k about 20 years ago). I could easily afford the then $1k rent but hung out with them. They were very offended when i moved closer to work. But we are immigrants so to them it was throwing money away and not independence that mattered. I wanted to leave as i had a bf and didn't want to be accountable for my movements after work every day and the savings wasn't worth it.

+1. I'd prefer my kids live in my house (basement if they want privacy) and save money. Also, I'd like to travel once the last kid is out of the house but spouse (5 years younger) wants to work a bit longer. Would be great for her to have company while I travel.

Stay at home. Max Roth, max 401k up employer contribution. Save for down payment on home and pay off student loans. Stay on parent insurance until age 26.

This is the way.

Anonymous wrote:This is only a problem if you buy into a certain dated and US-centric vision of what a middle-class family should live like.

Well yes, we are in the United States after all.

I lived with my parents for 6 months after getting my first job our of college ($65k about 20 years ago). I could easily afford the then $1k rent but hung out with them. They were very offended when i moved closer to work. But we are immigrants so to them it was throwing money away and not independence that mattered. I wanted to leave as i had a bf and didn't want to be accountable for my movements after work every day and the savings wasn't worth it.