Anonymous
Post 02/15/2024 09:44     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
Anonymous wrote:Ds (10) has always been super smart (tested in near 100% on g&t in nyc 3 years running/ never any academic issues brought up by teacher). Ds struggle has been with impulse control and emotional regulation and his school has been great with that. It’s a 2t private in nyc. I have defocused academics in favor of the social stuff - and also work full time and cannot be a tiger mother really. But we recently applied ds to a 1t private for middle and he didn’t get in. Which is fine (we had no contacts and did not prep ds for the isee). But I worry that I have been so focused on social stuff and so neglected academics that I’m letting ds down. Have I missed my window? Should I be finding my battle hymn?


Shouldn't this be moved to NY forum for one and I thought tiger mom was considered and offensive term? Interesting with all of the things people flag and complain about this has not yet been mentioned.
Anonymous
Post 02/15/2024 09:08     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"battle hymn"?


Amy Chua book


Ok, but what does it mean?


It means that OP is stuck in 2011.
Anonymous
Post 02/15/2024 09:01     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you could have become the Tiger Mom, you would have been one already.

Becoming a Tiger Mom means that you have to be super organized, super strategic and super hardworking. The angst against TM happens mainly because others can'y work that hard and make that many sacrifices for their children.


op - i disagree that if I could have, I would have. I operate at a super high level at work, and have had no problem with organization or implementing a strategy as it pertains to anything I have prioritized.
I didn't do it for a bunch of other reasons, primarily that I think I just thought it would happen organically...


I feel anxious imagining myself the target of your super high level organization, strategy and prioritization. Don’t do this to your child. It will make his emotional regulation worse.
Anonymous
Post 02/15/2024 08:47     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"battle hymn"?


Amy Chua book


Ok, but what does it mean?
Anonymous
Post 02/15/2024 08:43     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
Anonymous wrote:Ds (10) has always been super smart (tested in near 100% on g&t in nyc 3 years running/ never any academic issues brought up by teacher). Ds struggle has been with impulse control and emotional regulation and his school has been great with that. It’s a 2t private in nyc. I have defocused academics in favor of the social stuff - and also work full time and cannot be a tiger mother really. But we recently applied ds to a 1t private for middle and he didn’t get in. Which is fine (we had no contacts and did not prep ds for the isee). But I worry that I have been so focused on social stuff and so neglected academics that I’m letting ds down. Have I missed my window? Should I be finding my battle hymn?


In my experience with private school admissions, the social stuff really matters, so I don't think you went wrong focusing on social skills. My kid did well on isee with minimal prep, and I am not convinced a ton of prep would bring up scores that much anyway. Nor did I think really high isee scores helped her stand out from the field. She bombed some interviews due to shyness and excelled at others where there was a good vibe with the interviewer. It's just a competitive field and you probably just need to apply to more schools than one.
Anonymous
Post 02/15/2024 07:14     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it wasn’t the impulse control and emotional regulation that was a turn off?


i'm not sure they knew about those - unless his teachers wrote it in their report but not sure why they would do that.
He def kept it under wraps for the intv.


That’s the purpose of the recommendations. A school who lied on their recommendations wouldn’t be able to place any of their kids and would quickly go out of business.
Anonymous
Post 02/15/2024 07:01     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you could have become the Tiger Mom, you would have been one already.

Becoming a Tiger Mom means that you have to be super organized, super strategic and super hardworking. The angst against TM happens mainly because others can'y work that hard and make that many sacrifices for their children.


The word is anger, not angst. And many of us believe that the tiger mom approach is bad parenting.


+1. I am very organized and strategic. But my kid is not my project. I will offer every opportunity known to man, including loads of my own time (which modern parents don’t really seem to do), but I will not force.
Anonymous
Post 02/15/2024 06:59     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
How did u get him to work on the social stuff?
Anonymous
Post 02/15/2024 06:49     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you could have become the Tiger Mom, you would have been one already.

Becoming a Tiger Mom means that you have to be super organized, super strategic and super hardworking. The angst against TM happens mainly because others can'y work that hard and make that many sacrifices for their children.


The word is anger, not angst. And many of us believe that the tiger mom approach is bad parenting.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 23:09     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it wasn’t the impulse control and emotional regulation that was a turn off?

My thoughts went here too
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 23:07     Subject: Re:Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
What were his isee scores?
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 22:06     Subject: Re:Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
OP, I was a lot like the way your DS as a kid. First and foremost, know that it's not too late. You said the school has been supportive — have they recommended therapists? Do they know of tutors?

10 is still very, very young. Just relax.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 22:00     Subject: Re:Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
So many posts like this lately on this forum, so sick of it.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 21:38     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you could have become the Tiger Mom, you would have been one already.

Becoming a Tiger Mom means that you have to be super organized, super strategic and super hardworking. The angst against TM happens mainly because others can'y work that hard and make that many sacrifices for their children.


The word is anger, not angst. And many of us believe that the tiger mom approach is bad parenting.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 21:15     Subject: Have I missed my window to battle hymn/ tiger mother?
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you could have become the Tiger Mom, you would have been one already.

Becoming a Tiger Mom means that you have to be super organized, super strategic and super hardworking. The angst against TM happens mainly because others can'y work that hard and make that many sacrifices for their children.


op - i disagree that if I could have, I would have. I operate at a super high level at work, and have had no problem with organization or implementing a strategy as it pertains to anything I have prioritized.
I didn't do it for a bunch of other reasons, primarily that I think I just thought it would happen organically...