Anonymous
02/14/2024 22:21
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
Anonymous wrote:I miscarried 7 times, 6 of which were healthy embryos. Given the embryos were healthy, my doctor recommended surrogacy. However, after much deliberation my spouse and I decided it was not something that we felt comfortable pursuing. My desire for biological children did not outweigh the costs of intentionally severing the bond between the baby and the mother (aka “gestational carrier”) who carried him/her.
There is no discernible “bond” between the GC and the baby. Yes the baby heard the GCs voice for nine months but it was through amniotic fluid and muscle and skin…. The GC goes through psych screening and is emotionally prepared and understands this is not her baby. She is a GC because she truly wants to help another family. My GC is not “bonded” with my baby… and my baby absolutely knows me as her mother. I think there have been studies about this but too lazy to google. I’m so sorry for your losses and I hope you were able to find peace.
Anonymous
02/14/2024 21:54
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
I miscarried 7 times, 6 of which were healthy embryos. Given the embryos were healthy, my doctor recommended surrogacy. However, after much deliberation my spouse and I decided it was not something that we felt comfortable pursuing. My desire for biological children did not outweigh the costs of intentionally severing the bond between the baby and the mother (aka “gestational carrier”) who carried him/her.
Anonymous
02/14/2024 21:38
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
I didn't read all the posts, but is there a reason you prefer surrogacy over adoption?
Whatever your decision, it will be the right one for you, OP. I agree that you're putting your life in danger here with all these pregnancies. I'm very sorry for your losses.
Best wishes.
Anonymous
02/14/2024 21:36
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:People just going nuts about surrogacy on this board and thread. More families are doing it than you would ever imagine. They just avoid the fools in this thread.
Fools avoid the exploitation of surrogacy.
You keep spamming this board like you think you’re going to change anyone’s mind. Let me let you in on a little secret. You’re not. You’re only beating your head against a wall because there are thousands of people going through the surrogacy process RIGHT NOW! And if you feel like that’s wrong go elsewhere. Your opinion on an infertility support board is not welcome, not absorbed and not impacting anything. Good luck with whatever your demons are, you sound like a miserable douche in real life.
As for OP, I suggest Facebook groups for IPs (intended parents) to get a sense of what you need to think about. I think for me after three horrific losses of genetically normal embryos, a deformed uterus which I had surgery for, many failed transfers, I decided I couldn’t risk losing another baby in my own uterus. I saw it as giving my embryo the best chance of survival and at the point I was at I would have done anything to make that happen, including drop over 100k on a surrogate/ agency/ lawyers. You could go indie but that is not without risk. I would ask your RE about this, and just call some surrogacy agencies to hear their thoughts on pricing, wait times, etc.My first transfer with my surrogate worked and the only regret I have is that I did t pursue it earlier.
That is awesome. So glad it worked out so well after everything you went through.
Anonymous
02/14/2024 21:31
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had a realization last night as I'm preparing for attempting my 7th pregnancy in 3 years that I should seriously consider surrogacy.
Some background: last pregnancy I almost lost my uterus or life.
I've pursued expensive treatments to "fix" the issues and the process may improve my odds of carrying to term it's also very likely that I'll have GD, high risk of Pre-E and high risk of losing the pregnancy at any point.
I have extreme guilt over considering this path but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. If you or someone you know pursued this, how did you make the decision?
We considered it until we met w the crazy woman who offered to do the surrogacy. She had done it before evidently. Referred to herself as a sacrificial cow (not joking). The attorney (local) who was trying to manage the situation was arrested on some illegal surrogacy matters soon after. Be careful.
Hilary Newman was/is her name. She was jailed for selling babies for $100,000. Only did a year.
Anonymous
02/14/2024 21:28
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
Anonymous wrote:I had a realization last night as I'm preparing for attempting my 7th pregnancy in 3 years that I should seriously consider surrogacy.
Some background: last pregnancy I almost lost my uterus or life.
I've pursued expensive treatments to "fix" the issues and the process may improve my odds of carrying to term it's also very likely that I'll have GD, high risk of Pre-E and high risk of losing the pregnancy at any point.
I have extreme guilt over considering this path but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. If you or someone you know pursued this, how did you make the decision?
We considered it until we met w the crazy woman who offered to do the surrogacy. She had done it before evidently. Referred to herself as a sacrificial cow (not joking). The attorney (local) who was trying to manage the situation was arrested on some illegal surrogacy matters soon after. Be careful.
Anonymous
02/14/2024 21:22
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:People just going nuts about surrogacy on this board and thread. More families are doing it than you would ever imagine. They just avoid the fools in this thread.
Fools avoid the exploitation of surrogacy.
You keep spamming this board like you think you’re going to change anyone’s mind. Let me let you in on a little secret. You’re not. You’re only beating your head against a wall because there are thousands of people going through the surrogacy process RIGHT NOW! And if you feel like that’s wrong go elsewhere. Your opinion on an infertility support board is not welcome, not absorbed and not impacting anything. Good luck with whatever your demons are, you sound like a miserable douche in real life.
As for OP, I suggest Facebook groups for IPs (intended parents) to get a sense of what you need to think about. I think for me after three horrific losses of genetically normal embryos, a deformed uterus which I had surgery for, many failed transfers, I decided I couldn’t risk losing another baby in my own uterus. I saw it as giving my embryo the best chance of survival and at the point I was at I would have done anything to make that happen, including drop over 100k on a surrogate/ agency/ lawyers. You could go indie but that is not without risk. I would ask your RE about this, and just call some surrogacy agencies to hear their thoughts on pricing, wait times, etc.My first transfer with my surrogate worked and the only regret I have is that I did t pursue it earlier.
Anonymous
02/14/2024 16:17
Subject: Re:Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
Anonymous wrote:Please let this be a troll. No one needs 7 children, particularly not if you’re going to rent some poor woman’s womb to do so.
You are the dumbest of a**es.
Work on your reading comprehension.
Anonymous
02/14/2024 16:14
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
Anonymous wrote:People just going nuts about surrogacy on this board and thread. More families are doing it than you would ever imagine. They just avoid the fools in this thread.
Ever hear the advice just because one can, doesn’t mean one should?
Anonymous
02/14/2024 16:13
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
Anonymous wrote:People just going nuts about surrogacy on this board and thread. More families are doing it than you would ever imagine. They just avoid the fools in this thread.
Fools avoid the exploitation of surrogacy.
Anonymous
02/14/2024 16:11
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
People just going nuts about surrogacy on this board and thread. More families are doing it than you would ever imagine. They just avoid the fools in this thread.
Anonymous
02/14/2024 13:21
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
I'm so sorry for all of your trouble. I've had a handful of chemicals and several failed frozen embryo transfers, and am also considering surrogacy. There are several Facebook groups dealing with surrogacy and matching. I'd recommend joining them, as you'll get much better and more supportive info than it seems you're getting here.
Anonymous
02/14/2024 11:58
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you can afford it and find a surrogate go ahead. Never mind these people. But the law mentioned above might impact you. BTW I had 6 MC before choosing this route. Worked fine for all concerned. Very very happy. GL.
Hahahaha! You had 6 miscarriages!
What’s so funny?
Anonymous
02/14/2024 11:35
Subject: Making the decision to pursue surrogacy
Anonymous wrote:If you can afford it and find a surrogate go ahead. Never mind these people. But the law mentioned above might impact you. BTW I had 6 MC before choosing this route. Worked fine for all concerned. Very very happy. GL.
Hahahaha! You had 6 miscarriages!