Anonymous
02/11/2024 15:09
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
Anonymous wrote:I love hosting and do it often.
I’m annoyed that people reciprocate by “hosting” at a restaurant where we all go Dutch. It’s actually a lot of work and expense to host and the non hosters don’t see that.
Uh, I'm a non hosted these days and I totally see it! I hate hosting. Hate the expectation, like what you have, and would prefer no one has to go through the effort. If you like it fine, but I don't, so please don't expect me to be out of my comfort zone to host people when I don't like it and am not good at it. I will take people to dinner or lunch somewhere at times.
Anonymous
02/11/2024 15:06
Subject: Re:Anyone else hate hosting?
No I like hosting but to be fair, we hire help to make it easy. Cleaning crew before and after, catering, bartender, etc. We've even occasionally hired a neighborhood high school girl to come lead games and crafts for the little kids.
In terms of people leaving, we always provide an ending time for any party. For a small dinner with just two or three families we don't do that, but we're all socially capable of reading cues. We start cleaning, turn off music, and our guest start getting their coats and thanking us. It works out just fine.
In terms of people leaving, we always provide an ending time for any party. For a small dinner with just two or three families we don't do that, but we're all socially capable of reading cues. We start cleaning, turn off music, and our guest start getting their coats and thanking us. It works out just fine.
Anonymous
02/11/2024 15:03
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
Anonymous wrote:I hate hosting where airs are put on. Order a pizza and flip open the lid and have napkins out.
You want to make something great but who cares or owns chafing dishes.
Come over, take your shoes off and put your feet up and I'll order some take out.
I'd much rather not be invited over to someone who hates doing it; we can talk on the phone; at the park at a restaurant (yes 100 to no clean up for anyone).
And I don't expect reciprocation, bring a 6 pack or some desert and again (pop the lid and don't worry about the container it comes in)
We started doing this almost weekly when we had little kids. We call them Shitty Dinner Parties. Real pants not required.
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:47
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
Well, I like having dinner at others’ homes and doing the same at mine because restaurant decibel levels impede conversation.
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:45
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
I hate hosting where airs are put on. Order a pizza and flip open the lid and have napkins out.
You want to make something great but who cares or owns chafing dishes.
Come over, take your shoes off and put your feet up and I'll order some take out.
I'd much rather not be invited over to someone who hates doing it; we can talk on the phone; at the park at a restaurant (yes 100 to no clean up for anyone).
And I don't expect reciprocation, bring a 6 pack or some desert and again (pop the lid and don't worry about the container it comes in)
You want to make something great but who cares or owns chafing dishes.
Come over, take your shoes off and put your feet up and I'll order some take out.
I'd much rather not be invited over to someone who hates doing it; we can talk on the phone; at the park at a restaurant (yes 100 to no clean up for anyone).
And I don't expect reciprocation, bring a 6 pack or some desert and again (pop the lid and don't worry about the container it comes in)
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:43
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
I like it, but mostly because I find myself disappointed at restaurants. We might spend $100 per person and then I think I could have better food and more drinks if I had just hosted.
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:38
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
I hate it. I grew up with a wonderful mom who is the best hostess of everyone at any time, and I feel self-conscious I don't do it as well, get tons of anxiety. It's truly a huge aggravation to me, and I end up feeling resentful the few times I am truly forced to do it.
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:35
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
I thought I enjoyed it but have had too many negative interactions, mainly with MIL and SIL.
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:32
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I love hosting and do it often.
I’m annoyed that people reciprocate by “hosting” at a restaurant where we all go Dutch. It’s actually a lot of work and expense to host and the non hosters don’t see that.
So you host only because you hope to be hosted? That’s sort of stupid.
No my point was that they think they're reciprocating when they aren’t. We just aren’t restaurant people though so we probably should decline those invites more.
I'm sure they don't think of it as "reciprocating" - but just having another time of getting together and establishing and deepening your friendships. They might think the reciprocal part is that one time you suggest the plan, the next time they suggest getting together and what to do.
Are you upset at the financial part? Like are you spending a lot of $ to cook for them, and you feel like you're not getting that back by going out to dinner together?
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:31
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I love hosting and do it often.
I’m annoyed that people reciprocate by “hosting” at a restaurant where we all go Dutch. It’s actually a lot of work and expense to host and the non hosters don’t see that.
So you host only because you hope to be hosted? That’s sort of stupid.
Your friends should reciprocate by paying for your meal. You need new friends.
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:29
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
I like it too. Agree with pp that you don’t host in the hope other people will invite you. Most people hate hosting - too expensive, too messy etc. I am a generous person in other ways too though. I think most people that host are generous.
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:27
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
Sorry, OP, but I actually enjoy it even though I’m an introvert.
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:17
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
Agreed! We also hate having people over! We live in a small home and feel like people are so clumsy and not very careful so the cleanup is a lot. I don’t mind having 1-2 people over but definitely not a large party!
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:11
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
Anonymous wrote:I love reading this! Hate hosting and hate being hosted. It’s all so stressful.
+1
Same! Let's just meet somewhere! No work, and makes it easy.
Anonymous
02/11/2024 14:10
Subject: Anyone else hate hosting?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I love hosting and do it often.
I’m annoyed that people reciprocate by “hosting” at a restaurant where we all go Dutch. It’s actually a lot of work and expense to host and the non hosters don’t see that.
So you host only because you hope to be hosted? That’s sort of stupid.
No my point was that they think they're reciprocating when they aren’t. We just aren’t restaurant people though so we probably should decline those invites more.
But why are you hosting with the intentions of being hosted in return. I’m sure they don’t think they are reciprocating monetarily. If you don’t like paying to host, don’t host. If you love the company and the event, understand the cost.